butterfingers2010

I definitely understand your anxiety. I'm not moving overseas, but I'm making a huge lifestyle change in moving from a mid-size city to Chicago. I'm quitting a job that Iove, leaving my friends and family, and ditching my car in favor of public transportation. I don't know Chicago very well-in fact-have never spent more than a few days there at a time. I initially had very anxious (although not overtly bad) feelings when I made this decision, but I think it's normal and I think that what you're experiencing is totally normal, too! I know it will be a huge challenge in my life but I feel in my heart it will be worth it in the end. Life is all about taking chances. You have to take chances if you ever want to make changes in your life.

Has anybody hired movers for an out-of-state move? If so, how much did it (roughly) cost per hour? My parents have this idea that we should hire movers for my move from Madison to Chicago. Two Men and a Truck quoted us $1400-$1600 total, which, in my opinion, is an ungodly amount to pay for that length of a move, considering its only a 3 hour drive. I don't even have that much stuff-I currently live in a 300 sq footish studio apartment. I fit all my posessions in here, with room leftover! Renting a UHaul would only cost me around $200, plus mileage. My parents have helped me other times that I have moved and it has been very easy, and we have been able to unpack everything in around an hour or so. Why all of a sudden they are willing to pay over $1,000 for something we can do ourselves for a fraction of the price, is really beyond me. Last summer they helped my grandmother move about the same distance using a U-Haul, and never even thought of hiring movers. They are offering to pay for most of it, but just the thought makes me feel horribly guilty. I would honestly be surprised if the value of all my stuff was worth $1,000. With that said I'm not going to part with all of my stuff, but I also dont want them to pay this ridiculous amount of money. They are stressing me out so much more than I already am about this move and while I apprecaite their generous offer, I really wish we could just do this ourselves like we have so many times in the past. I can think of many more better uses for that money. I even offered to drive the U-Haul (which honestly scares the crap out of me, especially driving on the Interstate, but I'm sure it would be fine) and assured them that I would get the proper parking permits, etc. outside of my apartment building. Is this kind of price anywhere near normal? They want to get more quotes but I don't know if its worth it if other movers will be just as expensive.

Hi Carol- I'm moving to Chicago soon, too! I'll be living in a studio in Roger's Park. You don't mention what school you're going to, so I'm not sure what to suggest to you that would be within biking distance. My understanding of Chicago so far is that the vast majority commute to work/school via the El (elevated) train. while biking is also a great idea, you would have many more options if you were willing to take public transportation. The commute might be kind of long depending on where you are ( I have a 30 min commute to school and 45 min commute to my practicum site) but you could always use the time to read and catch up on your studies. Overall, I would say stay away from the South side (too dangerous) as well as downtown/the loop (too expensive). When I was looking for apartments, I focused on Roger's Park and Edgewater. They are inexpensive but relatively safe neighborhoods. A few people I talked to who are familiar with Chicago did advise me to shy away from West Roger's Park, as its a litte more sketchy. Basically, the closer to the lake you are, the better, as far as safety goes in that area. If you want to to more research on neighborhoods I would suggest picking up some Chicago guidebooks at the bookstore. They usually cover each neighborhood in a seperate section. If you get the chance to talk to people familiar with Chicago, ask them what they think of the specific neighborhood you're looking at. You could also look at crime maps (there's a few websites out there for this, you just have to type in the address of the location you're interested in). Lastly, before signing a lease, run the address through the search at bedbugregistry.com. If there are any listed reports of bed bugs, stay away from the place. Another thing to consider as far as location goes is the distance your apartment is from the closest CTA line. As a woman I definitely feel safer at night having to walk only a short distance from the train to my doorstep. One of the reasons I chose the apartment I did is because it's on a very busy, well-lit street with a lot of restaurants, i.e. I will not feel as isolated when I do have to walk to my apartment at night.

My program has an optional summer program, but I wasn't able to attend since I live three hours away right now and I have to stay here until my lease is up. The majority of my classmates are already at school, and I can't help but feel I am missing out.

A couple of co-workers of mine moved from WI to Washington state last summer. They both decided that the cost of moving most of their stuff via u-haul would turn out to be more than what the items were actually worth, so they sold/donated/gave away everything that did not fit in their cars. I assume they bought the major items (bed, TV,etc.) soon after arriving there. I think it really depends on how nice your stuff is, especially your furniture. If you have cheap stuff, it may not be worth a U-haul. On the other hand, if you have a $2,000 bed or something, it would probably be worth it.

I have no worries. Even on conservative campuses, there is bound to be a lot of left-leaning students. It just seems to be the nature of college campuses. I'm attending a master's in counseling program. The field overwhelmingly attracts liberals, so I'm sure I'll have plenty of company. So basically, whenever I think of the characters in the Big Bang Theory-I think of the stereotypical vision of the nerd/good student/intellectual type. We were just trying to point out that not all grad students are like the characters on that show. I like to think that if anything I'm at least more socially skilled then they are.

I think that there is definitely a way for you to present yourself in a professional manner while still being true to yourself. You are correct here in that you should work hard to make a positive first impression, but you seem to be implying that your less than desirable behaviors will be okay once you get to know everybody. I think it goes without saying that violence is never the answer to any conflict, but you are a "grown man." You know this already. Depending on the personalities of your fellow students and your professors, other things you mentioned, such as swearing and drinking (excessively, at least) will also probably be taken offensively. The key here is to mantain boundaries within the various relationships you develop with the others. With close friends, for example, a fun night of drinking would probably not be innapropriate. Getting drunk at a holiday party attended by the entire department, however, would not be a good idea and may even damage your career. Get to know others and their comfort levels before testing the waters too much. You mentioned that you smoke. I don't see this as a problem at all (at least, from the vantage point of how you will fit in with others). As long as you abide by the rules as far as where/when you can smoke, it won't be an issue. I was a smoker as an undergrad and would often do so around campus. I got a few dirty looks, along with a look of shock from one of my professors, but I don't think it damaged my realtionship with anyone. It was my choice to smoke and I owned that. While other people in my life (including school friends) were not happy with my choice, they didn't disown me or anything. As far as you being able to express your ideas go, I wouldn't worry about it too much. From what I have experienced so far in academic enviornments open discussion is not only tolerated, it's encouraged. As long as you can express your views in a way that it not overtly offensive to others, I don't see any reason why you should keep your thoughts to yourself. After all, there's nothing like a lively debate to bring interest and engagement to a class! It only enriches the learning environment and gives others food for thought. Then again, I went to a rather free-wheeling liberal arts college in a very progressive city. I particularily recall one literature class in which the two business majors in our section stomped out, red-faced and fuming. They accused our professor of being biased and basically demanded an end to open discussion. Open discussion continued. That's one class I will never forget. Pas, I can definitely feel your concern. I'm a left-leaning, vegetarian, smoking, drinking, tattooed girl with a pretty big mouth ( at times). I have political/social opinions, and LOTS of them, that I'm usually not afraid to share. I'm also a grad student on a conservative-minded campus. I think you have a pretty limited view of what a grad student is. Grad students are just like everybody else. They come from all different cultures, religions, and political viewpoints, and vary greatly in their personal habits and morals. I think Amogh is right-you watch too much Big Bang Theory. Although I have to say, I love that show. Just be yourself, but a professional version of yourself. You don't have to change who you are. But different settings definitely call for different behavior.

I had an open conversation with my boss about this and she promised that I will get to work up until the end of my notice period (about six weeks from now) even if they do find a replacement before then. It was good to get it out of the way and now I am relieved of the guilt that I am holding her back from starting the hiring process : ) The way things go around there, they will be lucky as it is to be able to provide a solid job offer to somebody by the time I leave, let alone have them fully trained. My boss just hired someone today for another position and it took about two months of searching, calling references, looking at background checks, etc. for her to get to this point. I do feel a bit guilty that I did not turn in my notice sooner, but I wasn't quite sure what my plans were. I'm sure they will survive, though.

I'd love to sell my car, and even thought about it, but I decided I would rather keep my optios open for after graduation. I'm getting into some pretty big debt with grad school and I highly doubt I would be in the financial position to buy a new (or even nicer used) car after graduation. It's a great, reliable car that has not had any issues thus far (other than normal aging wear and tear and routine maintenence) and the mileage is not terribly high, either. When your finances are so limited you are always thinking two (or five!) steps ahead. My salary will double after grad school, but sadly much of that extra money will go toward student loans. : (

I had always been under the impression that a 2 week notice is standard (unless you are in a management position, in which case a month or even more is appropriate). I work in a tight-knit office where my boss, co-workers and I all know each other well, so everybody has known that I will be leaving since I told them in February where I decided to go to school. My boss has been subtedly pushing for me to turn in my notice, even though my last day is not for another six weeks! Basically, she is very anxious about filling the position because it tends to take us a long time to do so. She can't start interviewing, however, until I give formal notice. I definitely understand her point of view, as I have felt the frustration also of having staff quit and then it taking seemingly forever to find a new person. It's hard on all of us when we are short-staffed, so I would feel bad if my turning in my notice later meant that they were short a significant amount of time. I'm thinking of turning in my notice sometime next week, figuring it will take them at least three weeks to find a replacement, plus another two weeks or so for that person to actually start working. I know it's not the normal way of going about things, but they have been really great to me (for the most part) and it's my way of saying thank you.

To follow up on my last post, I ended up using Apartment People ( a finder service) in Chicago and found the perfect place! In spite of all the bad reviews on Yelp, I found them to be very helpful and professional, not to mention they saved me a lot of stress and headaches. I would highly reccomend them to anyone relocating to Chicago because they can drive you to multiple apartments in a short period of time and you can also complete all the necessary paperwork the same day. Only two days later, my application was approved by the landlord and the lease was signed and ready to go. Admittedly I did end up getting an apartment on the higher end of my price range, but it's ideal for me and I feel like I'm getting a lot for my money. If you do go with a finder service, be aware that they will ask for one month's rent up front as well as any application fees the landlord has. The one month's rent basically serves as commission that they get from the landlord for providing the service (since it's free for you, Apartment People has to get paid somehow). Anyway, I am very happy with this service and feel a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know not everybody has good experiences with this, but it's at least worth a try if you're relocating and going to be in the Chicago area to look at apartments.

Thanks everyone! I hope this advice is helpful for others who are also storing their cars or not driving it much. I can rest happy now knowing that my baby will be okay while I'm away at school : )

I was wondering if anyone else has put their car in storage while in grad school and what kind of maintenence you had done on it while its in storage, if any. I'm moving to Chicago and am not bringing my car with me. It will be staying at my parents house, where it will be driven very occasionally, aside from being moved every few days (to avoid parking tickets on the street). I thought about selling it, but I'm only going to be in school for two years and I may need a car after I graduate, should I decide to move from Chicago. If I decide to stay in Chicago for work, I'll probably just sell it then. I got the oil changed today (it was due for it and I will be driving the car another two months yet) at which time they reccomended a number of maintenence tasks that should be done. Nothing immediate, but something that should be looked into at the time of the next oil change. This included a tune-up, replacing the belt, and replacing the fuel filter. The brake fluid is also 'discolored." I'm assuming all of this would set me back at least a few hundred dollars, however I don't really want to fork more money over unless its abosutely necesssary. As I said, it won't be driven much at all and I may even end up selling it in the end. I do need it to at least be in good enough condition two years down the road that I could drive it regularily again, at which time I could get all the necessary work done. Money is kind of tight for me right now-I'm qutting my full-time job in two months, and moving is turning out to be more expensive than I originally thought. I need funds for moving as well as for living expenses for three weeks in Chicago until my student loans are disbursed. To top it off, I have to get some dental work done (another couple hundred dollars, at least) soon. So with all that in consideration, do I pay to get this done now, or wait until its really necessary? (they assured me that it isn't right now and that my car will not break down anytime soon). Maybe I'm being a little overly anxious about this, but my car is my baby and up until now, has been quite spoiled. : )

Oh my goodness-you need to start looking NOW. Apartment hunting in downtown Madison is unusual in that most people look for places months ahead of time (sometimes as early as a year ahead of time!) By the time people in most cities start looking for apartments, downtown Madisonians have had their apartments picked out for months. I'm sure there are still some place left, but they're probably pretty well picked over by now. I'm not trying to scare you here-just giving you a really honest answer to your question! If you don't have much luck downtown, try the East or West sides. They run on a more normal timetable.

Psychgurl, you read my mind! I decided to try out both of those services and set up appointments for this weekend. I've heard mixed reviews about both, so I'm honestly not expecting too much from them. I thought it would be worth a shot though. I've heard of the Bed Bug Registry too and will definitely be checking it before signing any lease. The mere thought of them gives me the major creeps.

brohandy: I definitely know where you're comingfrom with anxiety! I get anxious about a lot of things, too, and really struggled when I was looking for my full-time job. Try to relax and do things that will make you less anxious, whatever that may be for you. You don't want your anxiety to show through too much during an interview. Interviewers expect a little bit of nervousness, but overall you must remain calm and collected. Try to remember that not landing any one particular job will not be the end of the world and you WILL find something.

Since you say that you have a lot to learn, I'm just going to be honest here. While reading your post, I got the impression that you are someone who thinks extremely highly of yourself. While there's nothing wrong with high self-esteem, you seem to be automatically assuming that others are jealous of you. This may be the case sometimes, but in a job interview situation it is highly unlikely because you are just starting out and do not have the experience that the interviewer has. I think you may be coming off to employers in a way that makes them think you are superficial and full of yourself. They know that neither they nor their employees want to work with someone who has that type of attitude. I am not saying that this is what you are actually like (not knowing you, this would be impossible) I'm just saying that this is the impression that others are getting, and first impressions are everything in a job interview. Doing some mock interviews and getting honest feedback might be helpful, but it seems to me that you need to change your way of thinking first. No matter how well-polished and practiced you are for an interview, well-seasoned interviewers are very good at reading others and they will be able to tell if you're not being yourself. You clearly already have a high impression of yourself. Now you need to work on appreciating the talents and contributions of others because that is what a real team player does, and employers are almost always looking for team players.

I can definitely relate to your stress about relocating-I'm moving out of state for grad school, although not 2600 miles. If it's any consolation, I don't think that the vast majority of grad students live in campus housing. Thousands of others before you have relocated for grad school and sucessfully found apartments off campus. The grad student housing where I am attending school leaves much to be desired-it's way too expensive and way too small in comparison to what is available on the off campus market. Breathe a sigh of relief that you now have the freedom to choose the neighborhood, price and ammenities that you want, without being constrained to only what your school has to offer! I was dissapointed when I came to the conclusion that campus housing wasn't going to work out for me, but now I'm excited about all the other possibilities that are out there. Fuzzylogiciian's advice is excellent and right on the point. I second the idea to move early and find a cheap place to stay while you search for an apartment. It will mean spending more money, but it will be worth your peace of mind to know that the place your moving into is habitable and what you wanted. As far as getting a roommate goes, I would stick with people from your school or friends/friends of friends, if at all possible. There are some real creepers on CraigsList and the last thing you need as new graduate student is a roommate that makes your home life hell. I know this from experience (minus the being a new grad student part) If you must go the roommate route, thoroughly interview them first, do a background check (if possible), ask for references from past roommates, and make sure that they are able to pay the rent. It may sound over the top or paranoid, but this is really something you do not want to gamble with. Your finances (and your sanity) are at stake. I understand that living with a roommate is a financial necessity for some, but if it's not, and your main concern is lonliness, there are other ways to address that. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm just suggesting that you be very careful in this situation.

I actually had the opposite problem-a very high GPA with a very low GRE. I didn't let it stop me from applying to the "top schools" but it also made me decide to apply to some less than stellar schools as a safety net. You have to keep in mind that each part of the application is only a part of the whole. Schools can really vary with their admission criteria, so I would check each program's website and see what the minimum GPA is. If it is possible to do so in a way that doesn't discredit you as an applicant, you could use the SOP to explain your lower GPA. I would be very careful with this, however, as you do not want the AdCom to think that you want others to feel sorry for you or that you are not mentally stable enough to succeed in their program. If you do explain what your "personal problems" were, do so in a way that demonstrates that you learned an important lesson and try to relate that to how it makes you a stronger candidate and fit for the program. You could also ask your LOR writers to emphasize what they feel are your academic strengths and how those fit in with your graduate program. Overall it sounds like you are a very desirable candidate, so I wouldn't worry about 1 weak point in your application.

I applied to a total of 5 schools-was accepted to 3, rejected from 1, and offered an interview at 1 but did not end up going as I had already received an acceptance to my dream school. : ) Then again I am a master's student, which is much less competitive than PhD programs. It's my understanding that those who apply to PhD programs should apply to a dozen, if not more. I suppose this could also vary depending on how comeptitive your field is and how competitive each individual program is. I think a good strategy is to apply to a variety of programs in terms of competitiveness. I applied to 2 schools I knew I had a great shot at, 1 that I probably had a shot at (the one I was offered the interview to) and 2 that were highly competitive, my dream school being 1 of them. I would also try to weight your strengths as a candidate and base your number of applications partly on that. If you have a lower GPA or do not have a lot of experience in your field, for example, I would apply to more schools, so as to increase your odds. On the other hand, if you're a highly desirable candidate, I don't see that there's any reason to overdo it. On the other hand, don't put all your eggs in one basket. I had a friend who only applied to 1 master's program and was not accepted. She had to wait another year to apply for grad programs again and was less than thrilled with another year of work at a job she wasn't happy with. One other thing to consider is the quality of your applications. It is very difficult, if not impossible-to submit 20 quality applications. You will be able to reuse most of the material for your SOP, but you also need to customize your application to each school. With that said, you also need to be knowledgable about each program and how it fits in with your goals, or you will not be able to convey to the AdComs why it's a good fit for you.

You must be living in a different neighborhood than the one I'm moving to. I called about a dozen landlords today and all of them told me the same thing-that they don't know yet if they will have openings for September 1st and will not know until August. So I guess I have no choice but to wait until then. I am frustrated beyond belief. I actually called about apartmetnts a month ago, at which time I was told they would know at "the beginning of July." psssh.

On a totally unrelated note, is anyone else trying to plan a move out of state? I'm moving to Chicago (from Wisconsin) the 1st of September and apartment-hunting-or lack of it- is totally stressing me out. Since I work full time, I can only go visit on the weekends. The problem is that in Chicago you apparently cannot sign a lease unless it's a month or less beforehand, and you're damn lucky if you can find a place two weeks before you want to move! Which gives me about two days in August that I am actually able to go apartment hunting (one weekend will be devoted to moving out of my current apartment). The thought that I am moving in two months and have no idea where I will be living is kind of terrifying to me. As if moving so far away is not stressful enough already. I wish I could enjoy the rest of my summer without having this in back of my mind all the time. : (

Update: I did end up getting into this school, although I didn't decide to go there. Just in case anyone else has this question in the future, I thought the outcome might be helpful : )

To be honest, I think most of my family was concerned with how expensive my school is rather than the fact that I got in to a really competitive program. I knew they were happy and proud of me, but it didn't feel that way at the same time, because there were a lot of naysayers. I had saved a leftover bottle of champagne from New Year's for this potential moment, and sadly I ended up drinking it alone. Not exactly the celebration I had hoped for, but now that I've made my position clear, everyone has been very helpful and supportive. Of course, the only thing my teen sisters are concerned with are A)When they can come visit me in Chicago and Where we will go shopping there. ; ) When I called my closest friend and told her, she said "I knew that you would get in there" but had a dissapointed tone to her voice. At first I thought she was jealous, but then I realized that she doesn't like that I'm moving three hours away. : ) It caused some misundestanding but we've gotten past it and now we're spending lots of quality time together before the big move. My boss and co-workers are really the only people in my life who were excited about this from day one. They were proud and ecstatic that I got into such a great program, and my boss even mentioned something about "living through you vicariously." It sounds weird I know, but we're a really tight-knit group. I'm starting to get the feeling that my younger (close in age to me) co-workers are a bit jealous, but I guess that's normal. It's weird to hear about them making plans for the near future and knowing that I won't be a part of it. I feel like I'm walking away from a part of my family and I know it will be very, very hard to walk out of there after two and a half years. All in all it's been quite the trip, with a mixed bag of reactions, but now that I'm getting ready to start grad school everyone is rooting for me and I really appreciate their support. I couldn't ask for better family and friends in this.

I totally know where you're coming from with the introversion thing-I'm the same way. I used to be into online dating, mostly for that reason, but after all of my bad/medicore at best experiences with that, I'm trying to mix in some other approaches. I know that it's hard-but you REALLY need to "join," as others have said. When I "join" I don't do it just to meet guys (or friends necessarily) I do things because it allows me to engage in my interests, get out of the house, and out of my shell for a little while. Over the past couple years I have taken classes for fun, joined a Bible study group, volunteered, traveled, and made an effort to reach out to friends of friends. Doing stuff in the community that you are interested in allows you to meet others with similiar values and interests. I realize that as a PhD student you don't have a lot of extra free time, so maybe you could focus on school-related things, such as joining a study group, professional association, or just socializing with your classmates. The "your friends are my friends" line of thinking is also a really easy way to meet more people and expand your social horizons. I have met a lot of my friends this way as well as a couple of past boyfriends. I don't think anyone should set out with the mentality that they are going to find "the one" immediately. That might happen tommorrow, or it might take 20 more years, but you have to be happy by yourself in the meantime. Another thing I have learned from dating a lot is that you should absolutely not put a lot of emotional or time investment into the early stages of a relationship. It's important to get to know somebody, but take your time and don't worry about whether this person is "the one" or not. That should reveal itself in time, while you are assessing whether you want them as a girlfriend or not. In the meantime, be open to other possibilities and people. I have a good friend who tends to use the "six month" rule with new guys-she will not make things official until that time, that way there is not too much pressure and she has an easy out if things go wrong quickly. Anyways, don't worry about it too much. I know its hard since you say you've never experienced dating before, but focus on being yourself and making new friends and it will happen naturally.