Withdrawing app with possible reapply?

[SVN]

I was silly and applied to a top grad History program across the country.

I've since realized I am not interested right now in moving across the country for 6 years, away from my family. I'm also not entirely convinced a History PhD is right for me.

I have what I think is a phone interview tomorrow, introduced by an e-mail that says, 'Don't be anxious, the news is good.'

I'd like to withdraw my app for this year and give myself a bit more time to think about whether this truly is the right program for me, and whether I'm willing to move across the country to do it.

Deferral is not an option here.

Do you think it's possible to withdraw while leaving open the possibility of reapplying to this program in the future? It is entirely possible that, after next year, I will feel more at ease with both the program and the distance. I don't want to burn bridges at the school or in my field--my main concern.

[goldielocks]

I think it's very, very important that you're honest with them from the start. It may be for the best that you'll have the opportunity to do this on the phone, as I think it might be difficult to phrase this right via email. You will save them time and energy that they can put toward another prospective student, and I think that's an admirable thing. Just be honest. That's all you can do.

On the other hand, part of me wants to caution you against making this decision too quickly (not that you're doing that), in case you feel differently after the conversation. Although if one of the problems you listed, not being sure about wanting a PhD, is on your mind now — I would strongly caution you against going into any program right now.

Good luck!

[SVN]

Thanks, goldielocks. I really don't want to waste their time.

As for the uncertain about the PhD part...I'd feel a lot more certain about it if I could do it closer to home. But the dual ambivalence...well, I think it might be enough to derail me in the first year.

[ryanlikesvespas]

How about you see it through, and their news? I'm sure they aren't looking for an answer tomorrow. You applied to a top program, and if accepted, you may change your mind after talking with current students, faculty, etc. Moving across the country is a big deal, but who knows, you may actually enjoy your new location and be able to visit family more than you think. Don't let emotion make your decision alone. Wait till all the cards are on the table first. You've got nothing to lose!

[virmundi]

I agree 100% with ryanlikesvespas. Unless/until you've been accepted and have actually experienced just what it is that being accepted entails, there is little reason to withdraw your application. What if you are admitted and they offer to fly you out, talk with your POI(s) and other graduate students, and you end up deciding that this is totally the correct thing to do?

In addition, if you think that you want to pursue a career in academia, you'll want to accommodate yourself to the idea that you'll have to be mobile - at least initially. You would be better off being mobile now to get into a top-ranked program in your field than you will be staying close to home for a lesser program that will offer you fewer opportunities latter on, if indeed it turns out to be the case that the programs in your area aren't quite as good.

In any event -- see it through and see what is put on the table. Once there is an actual *offer*, you'll know what the right move is. At present, there is little reason to accept/reject.

I offer you this advice as someone who would also be moving thousands of miles away from all family and isn't particularly super-enthused by the notion.

[ryanlikesvespas]

In addition, if you think that you want to pursue a career in academia, you'll want to accommodate yourself to the idea that you'll have to be mobile - at least initially. You would be better off being mobile now to get into a top-ranked program in your field than you will be staying close to home for a lesser program that will offer you fewer opportunities latter on, if indeed it turns out to be the case that the programs in your area aren't quite as good.

Great, great point. You may have to move for an outstanding program for the ability to be more competitive to where you may want to settle long term. Go to the local not so bad grad program and you may be competing with someone else that took your spot where you want to end up. It appears to be increasingly more difficult to find a job in academia now and I would venture to guess more people are moving to teach than staying in place, unless you're in a college dense area.

Get accepted, see whats offered, and give it sometime. Talk with the family you want to be around about your decision too. I know my parents would have felt guilty if they had known I turned down a program because of them.

[SVN]

Thanks for the input, guys. This is never an easy decision, either way.

I think what compounds my uncertainty about academia is exactly that constant moving. I'm simply not sure that I love my field so much that I'm willing to uproot everything every few years.

My folks are fine (well, as fine as they can be) about this potential move. It's simply what I feel--and, I guess, accepting that it's OK that I feel that the moves required by a life in academia may not be for me (rather than during therapy after 5 years of school to cure my constant anxiety). You've got to know yourself..

The phone call is this afternoon...it's gonna be a hell of a day!

[TMP]

I agree with the above points. It is crucial that you get used to moving around for the sake of love (history, I mean here ). Go with it and see what happens. Don't let your anxiety and emotions cloud your decision making right now. Wait until all the cards have fallen and see where things stand.

Believe me, you won't be alone. There are going to be students in your program and the graduate school who moved thousands of miles too. I think there's a natural support system there.

[Loimographia]

Believe me, you won't be alone. There are going to be students in your program and the graduate school who moved thousands of miles too. I think there's a natural support system there.

Based on the "already grads" forum posts I've seen, I think this might vary from program to program: some have very strong support systems and social ties, but others sometimes sound like they look for social ties outside the program, and it can help to be prepared for that. SVN, if you get accepted, it might behoove you to contact current students and ask about social interaction in the program, and be sure to read into it carefully, since people may be unwilling to speak badly about their program: if they say "oh, well, I guess it's not too bad, we do happy hour every once in a while, no one hates each other" it probably means they're not that close; if they gush about how everyone's bestest buddies ever, you're in luck. Then, don't be afraid to let this inform whether you decide to go.