Staying with students?

[crazygirl2012]

I'll be staying with a grad student for 2 nights for at least 2 of my interview weekends, and probably the 3rd as well. I'm nervous about it! I'm not a particularly awkward person or a difficult houseguest, so I don't anticipate any real problems. It just adds another layer of anxiety to the whole experience. I know that when you go for an interview, everyone is evaluating you constantly. I wish I could just go back to a hotel room at the end of the day, process everything that happened, and sleep. But I'm already spending so much money on plane tickets. It wouldn't make sense to turn down offers of free lodging. Thoughts? Reassurance? Lie to me and tell me everything is going to be okay?

[fuzzylogician]

Your hosts will not be constantly evaluating you, they are grad students who still remember what it's like to be a prospective. As someone who both stayed with other grad students when I visited and who hosts new prospectives now, all I hope for is a pleasant interaction with my guest. I'm offering my house and making an effort to accompany my guest to their meetings and other events, I'd just like to enjoy a nice conversation with them and to have some appreciation of my effort (a thank you is enough, no need for gifts!). Awkward guests can be difficult but I understand that some people are not very social, so I always understand if someone says they're tired and would like to go to bed early.

[Kimmo]

The grad students aren't really the ones deciding if you're admitted or not. And these visitations are at least as much for you to judge them as for them to judge you. Just remember that.

[mandarin.orange]

This is a good thing! You'll see firsthand the lifestyle of grads within the dept, and have many opportunities to speak very candidly about what the dept's really like. Unless you do something WAY out of line, they are not evaluating you in the least.

[crazygirl2012]

Thank you. I'm not worried about my personality being an issue, really-- I just need to stop being so stressed about interview weekends in general! And it is really, really nice that students offer to let us prospectives stay with them. I hope to return that favor someday.

[snes]

I know how you feel! I know that I should take the offer to stay with grad students to get a better feel for the place than I would if I went off to a hotel room, but I'm also the kind of person that needs to be alone and turn off at the end of the day to recharge for the next, just because I get exhausted from social interaction -- particularly the kind of small talk/niceties that you engage in when you're meeting new people. (I'm introverted but not TOO awkward...I hope...) I'm gonna just suck it up and get over it, but I totally know how you feel, haha.

Edited February 4, 2012 by snes

[crazygirl2012]

I know how you feel! I know that I should take the offer to stay with grad students to get a better feel for the place than I would if I went off to a hotel room, but I'm also the kind of person that needs to be alone and turn off at the end of the day to recharge for the next, just because I get exhausted from social interaction -- particularly the kind of small talk/niceties that you engage in when you're meeting new people. (I'm introverted but not TOO awkward...I hope...) I'm gonna just suck it up and get over it, but I totally know how you feel, haha.

Sounds like we're pretty similar people! I actually don't mind small talk and all of that, but I tend to feel really "off" when I'm placed in a new setting, and I don't want people to pick up on that and think I'm weird. Sigh.

[socihealth]

I am staying with a student for one of my interviews. I am a little excited about it because I think it may give me a chance to see some personal sides of student life that I may not normally get to see. Try to think about the positives!

[crazygirl2012]

Just to update this-- my first experience staying with a student was great. She was very welcoming, and it was great to have someone who was looking out for me. She introduced me to people, sat with me at dinner, took me to a party after interview day, and made sure my whole experience was positive. I definitely didn't need to worry as much as I did! (But that is, unfortunately, a lifelong bad habit of mine.) A student is hosting me at my next interview too, and I feel much more comfortable now that I've had a good experience.

[bubbaface]

Thanks for the update! I have a stay coming up this week and I am definitely having some anxiety. Good to know that others are having good experiences.