Backing out of a visit

[papillon_pourpre]

I was invited several weeks ago to come out for a visit by one of the programs I applied to, but since then I have been accepted to several other programs that I am much more interested in. The thing is, the visit is next weekend and the department already bought my plane ticket, reserved a hotel, etc. I don't really want to go as I'll have to miss two days of class and will have a ton of work to catch up on, plus I've been invited to visit three other schools and there's no way I can keep up the pace of traveling cross-country every other weekend. Would it be completely tactless for me to cancel at this point? I feel bad about backing out, but I don't want to lead them on either especially since I really have no intention of going to their school...

Edited February 4, 2012 by papillon_pourpre

[Eigen]

Yes.

In similar situations, if you were being reimbursed for the visit (instead of the department paying up front), you'd be financially on the hook for the visit, as well. Were it me, I'd personally feel obligated to cover their financial outlay as well, but that's just a personal opinion.

They've spent hundreds of dollars (at this point non-refundable) to bring you out. The least you can do at this point is to go visit and give them a fair hearing. I understand your feeling about leading them on, but go and give them a chance. There are lots of people who have ended up at places that weren't initially their top choice.

[J.Snow]

Agreed.

You really should go. Talk with your current professors if you're really that concerned about missing class; they will understand. And who knows, you may fall in love with this other school.

[sociolog86]

I would go since you already accepted. They'll understand if you choose another program, but you should still learn as much about their faculty and department as possible. Someone might be chairing a paper session at a conference you want to submit to in the future, or--even more hypothetically--one of these faculty members might be the future chair of a department where you apply for a job in a few years. Whether you choose their program or not, it doesn't seem good to leave a bad taste in their mouth. I wouldn't want that following me around.

[papillon_pourpre]

Thanks for the advice, but in the end I had my academic adviser and several professors urging me not to go, saying that the school wasn't the best fit for me (and this is coming from two who went there themselves). I was told I should limit my visits to my 2-3 top choices and that I would be wasting my and everyone else's time by visiting a school there's no way I would attend. I called the department coordinator and emailed the DGS this morning. They were very understanding and the DGS even thanked me for my honesty and wished me the best for my career. What a relief...