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Received mine in the mail today:

Unfortunately, after giving your application very careful attention, we regret to say we will not be able to make you an offer of admission.

Unfortunately and regret in the same sentence? Really? That must be overwhelming. Is the regret concurrently unfortunate for you?

Do you really regret to say? I mean, you could just inform, instead. In fact, informing might take away some of the regret in saying. Hell, it even might make it less unfortunate and more circumstantial.

Did you really give my application very careful attention? Or, was it given an otherwise ordinary level of careful attention? What does careful even mean, anyway if you likely ignored the application in a first cut based on a number?

You will not be able to make me an offer. When? Moving forward? Now? Based on this application? This application cycle? Ever? Make me an offer...who wrote that, Mario Puzo?

No, I'm not bitter. At all. ([just to ruin someone else's day, because that seems fair, right?] "my dream school broke my heart for the second time, and I was like...UMich UMich UMich, NO!")

Edited by AhabsAdmissionLetter
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As someone currently in the Michigan program, if anyone accepted/waitlisted has any questions, feel free to message me and I'll do my best to answer. (I don't check my account too frequently, so there might be a delay in my getting back to you.)

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Just got the rejection from the WGS and English joint program. Thank goodness; now I'm done for the year! The rejection email was incredibly sympathetic. I felt like I should be consoling them:

"It may console you to know that we received quite a large number of applications for admission to the Joint Ph.D. program. Our entering class next year will be in the neighborhood of 2 students, which should give you some idea of the odds. What these figures do not convey is the exceptionally high quality of our applicants. In the vast majority of our decisions, we felt that we were choosing among degrees of excellence rather than discriminating between the worthy and the unworthy. It is distressing

to us all that we were able to take so few out of this tremendously well-qualified pool of applicants."

It's good to have a rejection that makes me giggle instead of cry.

I agree. The thought that they are at all "distressed" about making these decisions, or at least claim to be, was oddly comforting.

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‎"Dear jywayne,

We regret to inform you that our program took 12 people this year. We had more applicants than the state of West Virginia has people. While we appreciate you giving us your hundred bucks, we are sorry to say that, after careful consideration, you will not be a fisher of men anytime soon. Best of luck in your future as you do whatever it is that you do.

Hasta la vista, baby,

Michigan."

Edited by jywayne
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