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Post-Acceptance Stress & Misc. Banter


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I had a meeting with my mentor and that was sufficient enough of wake up call and now I'm back to warm fuzzies (I can't always say that about such meetings!). I did not mention my brief thoughts about reapplying, though I did mention that I likely had implicit rejections at certain places. His reassured me that University X is unmatched as far as not only star faculty, but faculty who actually work with students, in the area that I want to go into, in addition to providing me with an atmosphere that will be intellectually challenging (and maybe not so much give me the warm fuzzies all the time). The positive note about not getting into 'big name' (at least what those outside the field would consider big name) places is that I won't be "seduced" by a name (hmmm, sounds like me) without critically looking at a program specifically.

 

Needless to say, everyone here was right, I just needed a few days to wallow in pity before seeing the light! He did encourage me to go to visits and it sounds like, as HHEoS said, it's not like the money allocated for travel expenses would be redirected right to fellowship funds in the case that I didn't use them. In fact, since it's a reimbursement, it sounds like the money doesn't really 'appear' until after the plans have been made. 

 

So glad to see this, Jazzy, and that your advisor was able to help you see straight! I concur about visiting as many of your schools as possible - if nothing else, it's nice to make some contacts with scholars you admire at other universities, even if you don't end up there, as well as get a sense of how things work at a variety of programs. Here's a thread from the year I applied that might be of interest to you (though, in classic internet fashion, it gets derailed and spins out of control towards the end):  (The funny thing is, though, that we're all talking about the sort of programs you got into as the classic "top tier" that the academy may or may not be expanding out from, but the idea is the same.)

 

In other news, will I see you at Michigan's visiting days? Belated congrats to all the recent admits (and waitlists)! Had a meeting with our DGS yesterday, and he was excited about the recent decisions.

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Of course it is all relative, but in what universe are Brown and University of Chicago not "big names" regardless of field? Isn't Chicago like #3 or #4 in general University rankings?

Chicago is "sexier" than most any of the Ivies, if that makes any sense.

Edited by ImWantHazPhD
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In other news, will I see you at Michigan's visiting days? Belated congrats to all the recent admits (and waitlists)! Had a meeting with our DGS yesterday, and he was excited about the recent decisions.

 

I'm actually not sure if I'll be able to make it up during those days, but since I am relatively close (w/i driving distance at least) I probably will try to visit to at least see the campus sometime in March.

 

Chicago is "sexier" than most any of the Ivies, if that makes any sense.

 

You're the second person to tell me that today. Hmm.....

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How do you make a decision? I'm torn between awesome (UChicago) and awesome (UPenn).

Wait until you make the visits. My ex-partner was in the same exact situation last season with those two schools. You cannot go wrong there, though, really.

edited: Or phone calls/emails/correspondence if you aren't able to visit.

Edited by ImWantHazPhD
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Wait until you make the visits. My ex-partner was in the same exact situation last season with those two schools. You cannot go wrong there, though, really.

edited: Or phone calls/emails/correspondence if you aren't able to visit.

 

Yes, I'm skyping. It's just...just so hard.

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I've heard bad things about U of Chicago (pointlessly competitive,  it's a grind, etc. ...from faculty at my own institution)--unless there were faculty members I HAD to work with there (or I wanted to be there for geographic reasons), I'd pick U Penn. That said, faculty and so on does matter a lot.

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Avant-garde poetics, new media and digital poetics.

 

That's actually a hard choice -- depends on who you want to work with. I would tend towards Penn: Penn Sound, Jacket2, Kelly Writer's House, etc. (also, you'll have more access to contemporary writers working in that area - most of them are coastal). That said, I would want to know how engaged some of those big name poetics faculty at U Penn are with graduate students - I suspect they're busy with other stuff? Who knows.

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That's actually a hard choice -- depends on who you want to work with. I would tend towards Penn: Penn Sound, Jacket2, Kelly Writer's House, etc. (also, you'll have more access to contemporary writers working in that area - most of them are coastal). That said, I would want to know how engaged some of those big name poetics faculty at U Penn are with graduate students - I suspect they're busy with other stuff? Who knows.

 

I'm having many conversations. And the decision feels incredibly complex. UPenn is very very attractive to me for the reasons you have described.

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Personally, I tend to think that UPenn is a bit too "properly" avant-garde -- and U of Chicago has some faculty that are a bit more dynamic (and interesting) in that sense (and I suspect a lot more accesible). But, UPenn is just becoming such a center for poetry-stuff. I think its a good place for any kind of research related to the field. Hard choice.

 

Also, the rumors about U of Chicago would worry me. That said, had I been accepted to U of Chicago I would have seriously considered it (for geographical reasons). 

Edited by bluecheese
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Can I, for a moment, scream at this choice? 

I'm screaming too! Let us join our voices in a low, loud, long yell. RAWR!

 

All of the schools I applied to have fantastic faculty, fit, funding, and placement; they are all well-known for their rhet/comp programs; they all also have great resources for rhet/comp students. Visiting is going to be crucial for me. Since I love all of my acceptances equally in terms of their academic program, I think location and atmosphere will end up being the deciding factors. 

 

I can't complain too much. This is a great problem to have, and one I definitely didn't expect! 

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Hi guys. I'm sure you've heard this before, but: infrequent lurker who recently discovered this forum; reading these posts is really helping me negotiate an extremely difficult choice between two fantastic programs. It's comforting to see that others are having as much trouble deciding as I am! I really hope that the decision will somehow become easier with time...

 

Personally, I tend to think that UPenn is a bit too "properly" avant-garde -- and U of Chicago has some faculty that are a bit more dynamic (and interesting) in that sense (and I suspect a lot more accesible). But, UPenn is just becoming such a center for poetry-stuff. I think its a good place for any kind of research related to the field. Hard choice.

 

Big congrats to Porridge for two awesome acceptances. For whatever reason, his (in)decision posts have made me want to jump in....While digital/avant-garde poetics isn't exactly my field, I'm pretty big into contemporary poetry, and I'd definitely second bluecheese's thoughts here regarding Chicago v. Penn. I suspect (s)he's right not only about faculty interests, but also accessibility. One of my biggest surprises when reading posts on this forum has been the extent of the negativity directed at Chicago. Two of my close friends from undergrad are currently pursuing English doctorates at Chicago, and I have heard almost exclusively great things about the department from both. One of my recommenders (a relatively big scholar of modern poetry) told me that he believes it's "hands down" the most exciting English department in the country, with a rigorous and (mostly) supportive graduate program to boot. I suppose my point is that while you should certainly consider UC's "difficult" reputation when deciding, you might want to take it with a pretty big grain of salt....While it's not the best in my field (African American lit), if I were in your shoes, I'd probably lean Chicago. It just seems to be the more exciting place right now....

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Big congrats to Porridge for two awesome acceptances. For whatever reason, his (in)decision posts have made me want to jump in....While digital/avant-garde poetics isn't exactly my field, I'm pretty big into contemporary poetry, and I'd definitely second bluecheese's thoughts here regarding Chicago v. Penn. I suspect (s)he's right not only about faculty interests, but also accessibility. One of my biggest surprises when reading posts on this forum has been the extent of the negativity directed at Chicago. Two of my close friends from undergrad are currently pursuing English doctorates at Chicago, and I have heard almost exclusively great things about the department from both. One of my recommenders (a relatively big scholar of modern poetry) told me that he believes it's "hands down" the most exciting English department in the country, with a rigorous and (mostly) supportive graduate program to boot. I suppose my point is that while you should certainly consider UC's "difficult" reputation when deciding, you might want to take it with a pretty big grain of salt....While it's not the best in my field (African American lit), if I were in your shoes, I'd probably lean Chicago. It just seems to be the more exciting place right now....

 

A professor I spoke to said similar things about the program as people on this forum, that it's highly (almost overly) competitive and can vicious... but then admitted that this is from information a student gave him over 10 years ago. He also mentioned that this atmosphere he was told came primarily from the MA program (which must be gone now, unless this was the MAPH).

 

Another professor who attended more recently hasn't mentioned anything like that. He says that [in comparison to another program I won't name] there is less coddling. It's more like a train that's zooming along, and you either get on for the ride or get off if you can't hang. But I suppose all PhD programs must be like that to an extent? I highly doubt UPenn is lacking in rigor.

 

Forgive me if you've already mentioned, Porridge, but have you done any visits yet?

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Big congrats to Porridge for two awesome acceptances. For whatever reason, his (in)decision posts have made me want to jump in....While digital/avant-garde poetics isn't exactly my field, I'm pretty big into contemporary poetry, and I'd definitely second bluecheese's thoughts here regarding Chicago v. Penn. I suspect (s)he's right not only about faculty interests, but also accessibility. One of my biggest surprises when reading posts on this forum has been the extent of the negativity directed at Chicago. Two of my close friends from undergrad are currently pursuing English doctorates at Chicago, and I have heard almost exclusively great things about the department from both. One of my recommenders (a relatively big scholar of modern poetry) told me that he believes it's "hands down" the most exciting English department in the country, with a rigorous and (mostly) supportive graduate program to boot. I suppose my point is that while you should certainly consider UC's "difficult" reputation when deciding, you might want to take it with a pretty big grain of salt....While it's not the best in my field (African American lit), if I were in your shoes, I'd probably lean Chicago. It just seems to be the more exciting place right now....

 

I'm one of the people who has said or implied before that Chicago has a reputation for being competitive, so I just want to clarify that I didn't mean that that is in any way an objectively negative thing. There is no doubt that there is some incredibly exciting scholarship coming from Chicago, and that it has excellent placement and some of the top scholars in the field. That it has a competitive environment is a draw for a lot of people - for them, that means being challenged and pushed in a productive way. For me, personally, I knew that such an environment would not be productive; I thrive in mutually supportive, collaborative, collegial communities, and sustained, immanent cutthroat competition just makes me withdraw and live in an unproductive state of anxiety. It's a matter of knowing yourself as a scholar, and knowing what works and doesn't for you. Chicago is absolutely a top-notch program; but there are multiple top-notch programs, all with very different cultures, so it becomes important to figure out your own individual needs and conditions for thriving, and then to choose a program with an environment that suits those needs. Chicago is awesome for people that thrive under competitive conditions, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that; other programs are awesome for people that thrive under more collegial conditions, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, either. At a certain point, you really can't put these things on objective scales: it takes a lot of self-reflection, as well as visiting multiple places and paying close attention.

Edited by intextrovert
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Visit.  Be gracious and charming.  Use this as an excellent opportunity to network with people in your field.  Thank them for having you.  When you get back, inform them of your decision as soon as you have solidified it.  You never know when a program will knock your socks off and be perfect.  I remember last year, one student turned down a Ph.D. offer from a much higher-ranked program for a M.A./Ph.D. from a program he completely and utterly fell in love with when he visited.

This is nice advice, thanks. What if you're leaning toward one school, and two have recruitment days on the same date?

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Hi there!

 

Thanks for the thoughts. I will be unable to visit since I'm not in the country but I am speaking to faculty and grads at both places. I treat the negative attention directed towards UChicago with a grain of salt and I prefer to trust my gut. From my conversations thus far, it seems to be a supportive environment. I wouldn't expect a coddling environment. Instead, I demand an intellectually challenging environment with opportunities for collaboration.

 

That said...I don't know what to do yet!

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So, I'm not having a good day.  Impostor syndrome is hitting big time, especially when I see how many people have multiple acceptances and I've been slammed with four rejections in the last week.  I've now been rejected by more than half of the schools I've applied to.  Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful to have one solid acceptance... I guess I just thought I'd be doing better, since this is my second try and I put so much more into it this year.  To make things worse, everybody keeps telling me that they know I must be really excited.  I am happy to know I'm going somewhere, but I'd like to feel like I have some more control over the situation and that I won't have to take the only offer I get.

 

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