was1984 Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Waiting to hear anything is giving me some serious self esteem issues! To this point, there are no postings for any of the programs I'm applying to, but that still doesn't assuage my feeling of inadequacy. I obsess over the weak points in my application, wondering if I'll get accepted anywhere, not just this year, but EVER! Reading this board with all of these phenomenal applicants doesn't help either. Anyone else going nuts? I'm usually pretty stable, but this is a new experience for me. My undergrad was a sure thing due to the Texas top 10% rule.
was1984 Posted February 16, 2009 Author Posted February 16, 2009 I think you missed out the word "go"... Wow, thanks for that constructive nugget.
GirlattheHelm Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 We're all feeling it. I'm so down right now I've decided that my 3.7 sucks, my golden statement has super flaws, my recommending third parties are too old or too crazy to mean anything, and my GRE's finally took the ship down. But, regardless, I go about my day. I'd say 'don't worry' but you're gonna. I'm gonna. We're all gonna. Except for the best of the best - and even then, a few will have actually decent egos and nod solemnly with us, understanding how fickle and arbitrary the selection process is. No one can prepare for it adequately without having some kind of 'prior knowledge' or 'in' which - in some ways - defeats the experience (though I know most of us wouldn't have minded that at all). In the end, it's a waiting game. Keep your head screwed on straight and wait and see... I mean, if you are invited to attend somewhere, you don't want to be a puddle of goo by the time the real adventure starts, right?
Tonights Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 In the end, it's a waiting game. Keep your head screwed on straight and wait and see... I mean, if you are invited to attend somewhere, you don't want to be a puddle of goo by the time the real adventure starts, right? You're totally right about this. I'm counting on the summer for me to put myself back together, but with having to possibly orchestrate a cross-country move with a partner and two cats, I'm not going to have very many mental health days. It's a good point to stay in a good mindset now for the sake of where we'll hopefully be in a few months.
BigCheese Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 and it certainly doesn't help when your first notification is a REJECTION!!!... ughhh :cry: i hate this process
frankdux Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 i just had a dream that my first notification will be a rejection. now i feel i've cursed myself.
medianerd Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 You're totally right about this. I'm counting on the summer for me to put myself back together, but with having to possibly orchestrate a cross-country move with a partner and two cats, I'm not going to have very many mental health days. It's a good point to stay in a good mindset now for the sake of where we'll hopefully be in a few months. Yeah, I had a program ask me if I wanted to start language classes this summer and I was like 1. My lease isn't even up here until July 2. No. I need the mental health break.
Tonights Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 [ Yeah, I had a program ask me if I wanted to start language classes this summer and I was like 1. My lease isn't even up here until July 2. No. I have to admit that this made me laugh. I feel the same.
GirlattheHelm Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I've been running around, groaning, "I'll never get in anywhere..." - I'm annoying myself. I'm taking today off because I am somewhere between a Valentine's day nightmare, sick off Chinese food, and perpetually in the dumps about my graduate crap. Worse yet? Today there's no mail because of some freakin' Federal Holiday nobody remembers, save for the fact they put it on the calendar! Curses. I'm counting on the summer for me to put myself back together, but with having to possibly orchestrate a cross-country move with a partner and two cats, I'm not going to have very many mental health days. It's a good point to stay in a good mindset now for the sake of where we'll hopefully be in a few months. Tonights, I'm really glad you recognize this. It took me a long time to figure it out. They, being the graduate admissions committee, have power over us. Hence, we feel like crap. But it's surely not supposed to surmount the joy of the last few years (for those of us who've enjoyed it). And if we're facing the hardest points in our life, intellectually, we need to keep the brain-muscle in top form. We can't be too presumptious into the land of "what if's" to make ourselves feel better. That opens us to a maddening world of infinite possibilities; I see that as no more fun than sticking a pencil in my eye. What if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if...! It's exhausting - like worrying but worse. We have to understand that they have the ball in their court. We've done what we can. Now we need to learn to take deep breathes again, and keep our blood pressure down. It's not easy, but who said trying to do anything constructive was? Best case scenario? We get in. Worst case scenario? We do something else. There are lots of adventures out there to be had. And, in some creepy way, I'm totally okay with becoming an alcoholic.... :? I'm going to order pizza.
Tonights Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Best case scenario? We get in. Worst case scenario? We do something else. There are lots of adventures out there to be had. I am very glad you joined us. I personally am running around in circles and feeling nauseated, so calm voices are really a help (and all too rare). It's good to remember that my whole life isn't going to implode even if I get rejected everywhere. This too will pass!
medianerd Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Tonights, I am also trying not to be queasy at the moment. I feel kind of out of it/spacey with stress though.
GirlattheHelm Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I have an unattractive twitch that has presided over my right eyeball since the day I finalized all my applications. I'll trade...
DefinitelyMaybe Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Worse yet? Today there's no mail because of some freakin' Federal Holiday nobody remembers, save for the fact they put it on the calendar! Curses. I certainly do not recall us having President's Day off in college. Here I am thinking I can call one of my schools that's been slacking on notifying folks, and they are closed today!
GirlattheHelm Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Yeah, It's all like one big bad joke. Everyone has class today at my school but I'm skipping. Namely because so does all the administration, so... screw it. To worked so hard to just be played with... that's the story of all of our lives, I guess.
CountZero Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 My knees are shaking and though I'm supposed to be writing a paper, I can't seem to type anything of value. This day should pass quickly, it's for the best.
vern23 Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I know people have school today but are the administrative people off? Should I just give up hope of hearing anything today?
riss287 Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I know people have school today but are the administrative people off? Should I just give up hope of hearing anything today? I know I had school and our offices were open too (last year), but I went to a private college so it might be different for the state schools. It's aggravating though - no mail! ARGH!
pregasauraus Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I have an unattractive twitch that has presided over my right eyeball since the day I finalized all my applications. Ooh, I have the eye twitch, too! It seems to be aggravated every day around 2 or 3 PM, when I realize that I probably won't hear anything that day.
barry_86404 Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Why is there no mail today...I don't get school off for this holiday AND I have no possibility of getting a notice in the mail?? :: Today is presidents day.
spoonfeeding Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I've been torturing myself by looking over the grad student profiles of my top school, and deciding I can't even sit at the same table with them. My high GPA, awards, and fieldwork are nothing compared to their 2 MAs each, in related fields, from Yale, Cambridge, or Harvard, their 500 published books, and their 10 years of experience as a human rights advocate in Burma or volunteering to hug lepers in Uganda. 11 admits last year, 8 the previous year- There's no way I'm getting in. I have never even hugged a single leper! I've also become convinced none of my other schools will give me the time of day. I'm making plans to apply for MA programs and funding in one of the countries I want to study for next year, because I'm certain I won't be in a PhD program here. Which is an eensy bit insane, since only one of my schools has contacted anyone (3 admits, according to this site), and none have contacted me. My schools all seem like such a reach now. I can't believe I didn't just apply for DeVry's dental assisting program. They probably wouldn't have taken me, either. p.s. can someone shoot me up with horse tranquilizer or something until the results are all in? I'm allergic to alcohol, and starting an opiate habit seems like a bad call in the long-term, but it just seems more humane to put me in a medically-induced coma for now.
Jakrabite Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I've been torturing myself by looking over the grad student profiles of my top school, and deciding I can't even sit at the same table with them. My high GPA, awards, and fieldwork are nothing compared to their 2 MAs each, in related fields, from Yale, Cambridge, or Harvard, their 500 published books, and their 10 years of experience as a human rights advocate in Burma or volunteering to hug lepers in Uganda. 11 admits last year, 8 the previous year- There's no way I'm getting in. I have never even hugged a single leper! Same here! My professors and friends assumed I would have a decent shot. Although now I realize I was a medium size fish in a really minuscule pond. I listened to my professors and didn't apply to any safe schools and felt vaguely good about my decision till the start of February. I got my first reject last week, from the least ranked school in my list. I know I have a few shots left, but with each passing day spent looking at the inconceivable achievements of the people studying in those programs I'm beginning to reconcile myself to different life choices. I strangely don't feel too aggravated. More like how I assume people feel just before getting hit by a bus. Ready for the inevitable.
spoonfeeding Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 I listened to my professors Me, too! That was clearly a stupid, stupid call on my part. They obviously secretly hate me. I strangely don't feel too aggravated. More like how I assume people feel just before getting hit by a bus. Ready for the inevitable. Aww, you're already in the fifth stage of grief: Acceptance. I envy you. I'm only in the third and a half stage: Losing my Shit .
ewurgler Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 ]. There are lots of adventures out there to be had. And, in some creepy way, I'm totally okay with becoming an alcoholic.... :? HAHA!!! Me too, sort of. It is almost every day I come home so stressed and anxious and say "oh god, I need a drink!" So, I open a bottle of wine, make a few cocktails or crack a beer at 5:30pm, and slowly drink so that I'm nearly asleep my 9pm. Let's all hope this stress drinking is temporary
Jakrabite Posted February 16, 2009 Posted February 16, 2009 Aww, you're already in the fifth stage of grief: Acceptance. I envy you. I'm only in the third and a half stage: Losing my Shit . Haha. I wish I was back on the east coast. It's 4 am in my part of the world right now. And I'm still obsessing with gradcafe and admission related inanities..so I'm guessing stage 5 is still a couple of blocks away :? . All us grad school rejects should form some suicide cult or something. But I guess that will only reinforce the judgment of those smug admissions committee pricks. Slightly counter productive methinks.
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