Visit weekend for a school I'm no longer considering?

[hephaestion6]

I recently decided that I wasn't going to be able to accept one of my offers for funding reasons, and while I love the school, I really can't afford to choose it over another, dramatically better-funded offer. But I committed to their visit weekend long before deciding this, and now am not sure what the proper etiquette is. I've already spent a lot of money on the plane ticket and need to be able to get the reimbursement. When I'm at the visit weekend, though, should I just attend the group functions but not schedule individual meetings with professors? It seems a little awkward for me to pretend like I'm still considering it, but it also seems rude to say that my mind's already made up.

I'm sure this happens all the time at visit weekends and that departments are used to it - I'm just not sure how to deal with it personally. Also, on another note: they have some manuscripts I really want to look at for thesis research purposes. Is it bad form to sneak off to the library during the time reserved for meeting profs?

Edited April 2, 2012 by hephaestion6

[Phil Sparrow]

Is it bad form to sneak off to the library during the time reserved for meeting profs?

Yes, if you have meetings with profs scheduled. These professors will be your colleagues in the future. If you find you must go to the visiting weekend, do your best to make a good impression even if you won't be attending the program. Use it as a networking opportunity. And maybe keep mum to the current students about your definite plans NOT to attend. Be as enigmatic as you want, but don't give anyone there a reason to gossip--especially in a negative way--about you.

Edited April 3, 2012 by Phil Sparrow

[Datatape]

Obviously, the most gracious thing to do would be to not go, but since you've already paid for the ticket and plan on getting reimbursed for it, the least you can do is go and see the campus. Think of it as a chance to get to meet some people and make a good impression. And yes, don't duck out to the library - it's tacky.

[TripWillis]

Go; meet people, possibly future colleagues; be gracious and have intellectual discussions. Promptly inform them of your decision as soon as you get back.

[Stately Plump]

I second what's been said. Go and be courteous, interested, professional. Make relationships; you never know how valuable they might be in the future.