Students with Family Obligations

[silencio1982]

moving 400 miles with my husband for my PhD program. he's looking for a job right now and is very stressed out. he's been on 6 interviews so far but hasn't heard back yet. we're also moving with our incredibly rambunctious 1 year old cat. right now we're thinking of either hiring movers and driving down with the kitty, or renting a moving truck, he drives that, and i drive the car with the cat. it's going to be quite the adventure.

[maroonwings]

moving 400 miles with my husband for my PhD program. he's looking for a job right now and is very stressed out. he's been on 6 interviews so far but hasn't heard back yet. we're also moving with our incredibly rambunctious 1 year old cat. right now we're thinking of either hiring movers and driving down with the kitty, or renting a moving truck, he drives that, and i drive the car with the cat. it's going to be quite the adventure.

You sound like me, except that we'll be moving 2000+ miles with a rambunctious 1 year old cat. We are thinking that it'd be cheapest to rent a moving truck and tow the car, rather than paying for gas for both moving truck and car. This of course means that we are stuck in the moving truck for several days with a very upset cat. She HATES being in her carrier, and the longest she's had to stay in it so far is 15 minutes--long enough to get from home to the vet's exam room. I am beginning to think that I'm not opposed to asking the vet for something to calm her during the trip. It seems better than the alternative of listening to her crying to be let out of the carrier. My husband's also looking for jobs, lots of applications but only one phone interview so far. He's stressing about it, although I think he shouldn't have any problems finding a job as we get closer to our move date.

[silencio1982]

You sound like me, except that we'll be moving 2000+ miles with a rambunctious 1 year old cat. We are thinking that it'd be cheapest to rent a moving truck and tow the car, rather than paying for gas for both moving truck and car. This of course means that we are stuck in the moving truck for several days with a very upset cat. She HATES being in her carrier, and the longest she's had to stay in it so far is 15 minutes--long enough to get from home to the vet's exam room. I am beginning to think that I'm not opposed to asking the vet for something to calm her during the trip. It seems better than the alternative of listening to her crying to be let out of the carrier. My husband's also looking for jobs, lots of applications but only one phone interview so far. He's stressing about it, although I think he shouldn't have any problems finding a job as we get closer to our move date.

wow- 2000 miles with a cat- i can't imagine doing it!! have you considered flying her? if i had gone to school in chicago which is about 1000 miles from me, i probably would have tried to have a friend take the cat to the airport on the day we were arriving in chicago- apparently you can send animals as air cargo.

good luck to your husband in his job search! i wish we could just fast forward a few months so we were more settled.

[maroonwings]

wow- 2000 miles with a cat- i can't imagine doing it!! have you considered flying her? if i had gone to school in chicago which is about 1000 miles from me, i probably would have tried to have a friend take the cat to the airport on the day we were arriving in chicago- apparently you can send animals as air cargo.

good luck to your husband in his job search! i wish we could just fast forward a few months so we were more settled.

Hmm...would that be expensive to fly her out? I'm not sure if I could trust airline baggage handlers with our little furball. I'd hope they're more careful with animals than they are with luggage.

I'm thinking that we'll get her a new, roomier carrier for the trip, and drive her around town in it once in a while to get her used to being in the car. We've been leaving the carrier out for her to investigate, hoping she'll decide it's not so bad after all. Occasionally we throw treats into it so she has to actually go in to get them. She doesn't sleep in it or anything, but she doesn't panic and hide at the sight of it anymore. She loves cardboard boxes and would probably be completely happy if she could travel in a moving box. We're going to have to check every box before we close it to make sure that the cat hasn't jumped inside.

[monkeyorama]

This is a great thread. I'm nervous about starting a program. I have been home with my (now) toddler son for a few years (though not exactly full time). I wrote about my son in my SOP, because otherwise the two year hiatus from practicing law seemed odd. I'm glad that it is a known factor with the programs, because I've received a lot of encouragement and advice from profs and current students. Also, I figured if a program was hostile to the situation it was better to be rejected than accepted.

[silencio1982]

maroonwings- according to delta it costs $155 to ship your cat.

http://www.delta.com/planning_reservati ... /index.jsp

and, i know what you mean about cardboard boxes. our cat jumps into our luggage when we're packing or unpacking from trips. i just read a news story not too long ago about a cat that ended up traveling from Florida to Texas exactly that way. i figured if that cat survived being stuffed in a suitcase mine could survive flying in a carrier. haha.

monkeyorama- congrats on your acceptances, have you made a final choice yet? while i don't have kids- my mom went back to college for her BA and MA when my sister and i were young. i admire her so much for doing it. i can remember her writing papers on a word processor after dinner (which of course, she made!)... best of luck to you!

[UndraftedFreeAgent]

I'm thinking that we'll get her a new, roomier carrier for the trip, and drive her around town in it once in a while to get her used to being in the car. We've been leaving the carrier out for her to investigate, hoping she'll decide it's not so bad after all. Occasionally we throw treats into it so she has to actually go in to get them. She doesn't sleep in it or anything, but she doesn't panic and hide at the sight of it anymore. She loves cardboard boxes and would probably be completely happy if she could travel in a moving box. We're going to have to check every box before we close it to make sure that the cat hasn't jumped inside.

If your cat will follow treats into the carrier, you're probably ok. Ours won't even go near it. We have to completely wrap him in a towel, so that he can neither see that he's going into it nor attack us once he realizes what we're doing. I know that declawing a cat is an incredibly inhumane thing to do to the critter, but if there were ever a candidate for it, ours would be one. I'm kind of glad that he's my parents' cat, not mine (and therefore not coming with me), because he would probably rip the carrier to shreds if a truck honked its horn.

If he/she has a favorite small blanket, putting it in the carrier will make the carrier smell more inviting.

[maroonwings]

If your cat will follow treats into the carrier, you're probably ok. Ours won't even go near it. We have to completely wrap him in a towel, so that he can neither see that he's going into it nor attack us once he realizes what we're doing. I know that declawing a cat is an incredibly inhumane thing to do to the critter, but if there were ever a candidate for it, ours would be one. I'm kind of glad that he's my parents' cat, not mine (and therefore not coming with me), because he would probably rip the carrier to shreds if a truck honked its horn.

If he/she has a favorite small blanket, putting it in the carrier will make the carrier smell more inviting.

She'll only go into the carrier to get the treat if we're not around. I can throw in a treat, it'll stay there for hours, then if we leave the house and come back, it'll be gone. She must have figured out one of our strategies: throw treat in carrier, wait for cat to enter, close carrier door.

Unfortunately her favorite blanket fits a full sized bed. She generally loves any blanket she can find, though, so I might get a baby blanket and see if she takes to it.

She's not declawed, and I agree with you that we wouldn't do that to a cat, so hopefully we can make the trip with as few scratches as possible. She's not exactly good with new people/places as it is. She hid behind the toilet for two days after we brought her home from the shelter, and she still hides whenever we have visitors. I hope the transition to a new place goes smoothly. She wouldn't fit so easily behind the toilet anymore

[cc11505]

Thank heaven for this thread! I thought I was the only mom nuts enough to think about grad school. My husband and I are both applying - he's international but I'm from here so he's got a green card. We think we can swing it on two stipends for a few years - our kids are little (to be 1 and 3), but if we don't overlap anywhere it'll almost be a relief, because one of us could take one more year off and stay home with the kids, while getting us settled in our new home. We just have to decide who goes! Fortunately my husband is just amazingly supportive and open - as I realize just how insane and difficult this process is, I get more and more grateful that I married the person I did! We have two admits so far but still have NO idea where we'll be next year - 12 schools still to notify between us... scary but also exciting - just what I need after three years in the delightful but challenging trenches of babyhood!

Anyway - any advice about being a grad student mom is welcome - I haven't been away from my kids much yet so it will be a huge change. However the application process, which I did mostly between midnight and 3 a.m., made me realize I really can survive on a tiny amount of sleep for a long time if I have to...

Debating, we love IKEA for cheap stuff - good luck!

[t_ruth]

ooh, thanks for bumping this thread! I'll have to read it all when I have a bit more time. My kids are similar in age to yours: one is 3.5 and the other is 9 months.

[cc11505]

ooh, thanks for bumping this thread! I'll have to read it all when I have a bit more time. My kids are similar in age to yours: one is 3.5 and the other is 9 months.

my baby is 9 months old too!

[UnlikelyGrad]

My husband and I are swapping roles. He'll be the primary parent--homeschool teacher, chauffeur, etc.--while I am in grad school. It's going to be interesting.

My sister handled grad school with two kids. (Both were born when she was a student.) If she were here I think she'd say that minimizing commute time--not just to school, but to daycare--is a huge factor in making it work.