Are these doubts normal? Is this panic/fear talking?

[dancer1]

I keep having moments of panic regarding my choce of school. I was offered two TA positions both of which came with full tuition wavers and small stipends. Both schools are great, but I chose the one that had a more glam reputation. I can't help but think what if I chose the other school. I was even tempted to email the director of the other program and beg to be re-admitted.

Please tell me others have felt this way! Is my waffling normal, I have had nightmares and thoughts of transfering after my first semester if I am unhappy.

HELP! Is this normal??

[ktel]

Yes it is normal. And those feelings will probably amplify whenever you have bad moments in the school you choose. It's very natural to think the grass would be greener on the other side. I have certainly felt that myself throughout the last year. I have to remind myself of why I chose my program in the first place and all the amazing things that have happened to me both personally and academically since moving here.

[TMP]

I think it's perfectly normal. I'm sorry to have turned down my other choice. It was very difficult decision because the POI and I had invested in each other intellectually. But I have to remember that A) I had solid, very solid reasons for choosing my program and My new adviser has been nothing but perfect so far. So it's kind of hard to complain and have any regrets..

[fuzzylogician]

It's probably redundant but I think it's still worth repeating:

You never know what could have been, and it's useless to waste time worrying about it.

It's always a good idea to invest time in making an informed decision - gathering information, consulting with knowledgeable others, weighing options. It sounds like you did all that, and your decision is the best one you could make based on the information you had at the time. Once the decision is made, it's best to stop worrying about it. If you're still rethinking and reevaluating, you are not done deciding. Once you're done, life goes on in one course and you will never know what would have happened in the other. This is particularly important to remember when things get hard in your new school (as they inevitably will, at some point). Things would not have been perfect in the other school either: eventually there would be a difficult class or an instructor you don't get along with, or a bad roommate/officemate/landlord/[other], or an unfortunate class/subject to teach, or an unsuccessful project, or a family/life event. Such is academia and such is life.

It's natural, but it's best to be rational about your emotions here. You made a good choice and you can make it work for you!

[Hank Scorpio]

Indeed. It's impossible to know what would have been if you'd gone with the other choice. But the best advice I've received when having such doubts is that, going on what you've said, neither choice is a bad one. One may be better for you than the other (though there would be no way to know, as everyone has said), but either way, either one is a good choice.

[dancer1]

I really appreciate your replies, thank you very much. Even though I realize my doubts are normal, hearing others who are have been in a similar position helps.

[butterfingers2010]

Yes-I think that what you're feeling is VERY normal! I'm also going to a "glamorous" school and I keep having fears and doubts about fitting in there and liking the program. I would focus less on the school's reputation (which will only make you feel intimidated) and focus on what you know about the program. One key reason I decided to attend my program is that I attended an open house and found that the students and staff were actually very welcoming and down-to-earth (although not without a healthy dose of pride in their school!) so whenever I have doubts, I think about that day. I've also talked to a few of my classmates and found them to be friendly and helpful, which has eased my fears a bit. If you have this opportunity at all, you should definitely take advantage. I also try to remember that THEY chose ME and that I got in because I deserved it and because they felt I was a good fit for their program. If I wasn't qualified and my interests didn't align with their's, I would not be going! I think you chose the school you did for a good reason-usually, intuition is your best guide and you should listen to it. Try to find out as much as you can about the program, school and the city you'll be living in. Knowledge is power and the more you know about your new surroundings, the more at ease you will feel. Cold feet are normal and I wouldn't sweat it too much. : )