was anyone not sure they really want to go to grad school while applying?

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

Just curious. Everyone on here comes off as so determined and focused (which is fine). But I was just curious if any of you actually weren't 100% sure you even wanted to go to grad school while you were applying. Not saying you didn't want to go, but if you didn't get in, it wouldn't have really been a big deal. Just sort of going where the wind blows sort of thing.

[splitends]

A PhD is such a big commitment, I would hope that most people are pretty determined about it. The advice I was given at one point is that if you can see yourself doing anything other than being an academic, do it. There's just too much you need to invest on so many levels with such slim chances of getting a job, or at least the job you want. It's easy to get in the habit of just continuing to apply to and go to school because that's what you've been trained to do for so many years, but I've been told that people that find their way into PhD programs for that reason tend to be the least successful or at least the most likely to drop out.

That being said...I wasn't 100% sure when I applied. I had doubts about whether this was the right time to start grad school, or whether I wasn't thinking enough about different routes I could be taking, etc. But I was at least 90% sure. It was really the only thing I could see myself doing, and I didn't think it made a ton of sense to wait till later to apply when I didn't really have anything productive to do after graduating from undergrad. Now that I'll be starting in the fall, I feel much closer to 100% sure it was the right decision. I never felt like I was just floating into grad school or going where the wind blew me, at least.

[I'm a fact.]

I applied to a professional program years ago that I had reservations about immediately after applying. Unfortunately, I was accepted; I ended up dropping out of the program a week after it started. I wasted money on the GRE, application fee, and having transcripts sent. I also wasted my recommenders’ time.

This year was a totally different experience. I applied to a program more in-line with my academic interests. I spent two years doing independent research, and while this degree may not lead to a lucrative career, I would’ve been heartbroken if I hadn’t gotten in.

Everyone’s motivations are different. Some people have practical reasons for going to grad school (e.g. opportunity for advancement and higher pay) and some have a passion for their subject. If you lack both, why waste the time and money?

Either way, good luck to you—wherever the wind blows you.

[nohika]

I'm applying this fall and am somewhat terrified of it. However, I can't really imagine doing anything else other than this. I mean, I dream occasionally about doing something else when I'm stressed, but I like research and am liking where it leads me. I think stress sometimes causes doubt, and worry as well. There's also nothing really that I'd want to do after undergrad - a lot of the stuff I like is research/stats based, and there's really not much I can do after a bachelor's and I really want to be the one directing it. So.

I also believe in if you can do something else besides grad school, do it.

[Usmivka]

I was definitely ambivalent about grad school. I enjoy it very much now, but I believe I would have been just as happy continuing my previous job. The deciding factor was that my partner was moving to start a PhD program, and it was easier for me to start graduate school and be on the same timeline as her. But if I hadn't been accepted I would have taken a research tech job and been perfectly OK with that (and better paid, :/).That said, I was very confident that grad school would be a good thing for me regardless, so once I was accepted I didn't have too many second thoughts. I think the folks that post on a grad school specific forum tend to be at the more focused (towards academia) end of the spectrum, so I wouldn't be too concerned if you don't reflect everything you see. It takes all kinds, and certainly there are folks who are not super focused on grad school as the 'be all and end all' and can still do well for themselves in a program.

[cajunmama]

My only ambivalence came from the homefront. Hubby has worked so hard and so long that even in undergrad, sometimes I felt guilty about being where I loved to be while he worked in a salt mine (literally, no joke). But like a friend told me, it's not like I was playing around. I graduated at the top of my class and going on to graduate school is all in an effort to make a better life for us. I could have gone into the workforce but getting my PhD and going on into academia will get us further, faster and I'll be doing what I love. Hubby is behind me 110% and once we made the decision to go for it, there's been no turning back.

[imonedaful]

but if you didn't get in, it wouldn't have really been a big deal. Just sort of going where the wind blows sort of thing.

I definitely felt that way when I applied to graduate school. Of course I wanted to get into a school and go but however, I realized that my life would not be over if I did not. I had a job and my life wasn't miserable. I just believe you should put 100% into whatever you do, whether it is going to graduate school or a career elsewhere. It is not bad to have a mentality that you can do other things. But if you do decide to go to graduate school, definitely make it count!