nohika

Survived my first year!! And even have a rough draft thesis proposal written, which is ahead of...well, the rest of my cohort, and most people in my program at this stage. Second year, here I come~

You didn't answer the rest of Fuzzy's questions. Without that information, it makes it more difficult to advise you properly.

Most theses are available /somewhere/. Worst case, contact previous students and ask for permission to see their theses. Most of the people I've asked in my field were more than willing. I could see why your advisor would be hesitant to share previous students' work without their permission, though.

I would second the recommendation of asking other students about their theses and how they were structured - that's what my advisor has recommended. Otherwise, maybe your department has a handbook that demonstrates briefly how they want it outlined? I know our department has a couple different structures you can choose from.

I just ordered a kettle for mine and staplers and stuff. Going to go shopping for it tomorrow and get some basics. So so so excited to finally have an office like my cohortmates. Didja get your pizza? :3

Similar, but moved a few hours down. Wake up anywhere from 7:30-10am-11am, go to class or meetings three days a week, come home, RA work for at least 5 hours, doing schoolwork/various busywork until about 3am, then go to bed. Nope, I don't adjust my bedtime for when I get up, so I tend to go to my 9am meeting on about 4 hours of sleep, give or take a bit. But I've got a crapload of schoolwork I didn't have last semester, plus more research than normal, and...blech. My mixed class is weird. I'm starting to resent being called a grad student because all it means is more work, but I'm getting to know a couple of the undergrads and they're nice, so that's nice. But there's lots of lecturing and I'm not used to that at all, so it's kind of weird. Plus as the grad students we're the 'examples' for the undergrads and that's getting a bit tiring already. I love my shiny office though. I'm finally getting to use it and I want to snuggle it because it's so adorable and perfect. (Yes, I'm a bit of a weirdo.)

Yup. Yup yup yup. With the exception of the one hour to the lab - instead I throw in bus-ing to and from school which takes about an hour each way. My roommate, on the other hand, is looking at a much less stressful semester. If I didn't want to know more about policy as a potential career field, I'd drop the freaking class. Sigh. But I just got a 260$ refund this morning, so that helps, I guess.

Hooooooooooooow did I end up with a classload that is HARDER than last semester's hell?! I was supposed to take a break!! Wtf is wrong with me!! Oh wait. I'm interested in policy and the only policy class in my department is taught by the professor who is notorious for insane workloads. Plus my independent study is going to be busy-making AND my advisor wants a rough draft of my thesis proposal by the end of the semester and I don't even know what one of those looks like. Nose to the grind. Grr.

So just some bits of advice, here. Yes, that's a troublesome situation. I have a friend who went through it and while I don't agree with her choices, she got married and seems to be happy. Will that mean a divorce in a year or two? Probably. Is that now? No. Being a parent is not as glamorous as you're making it out to be. Your baby? Guess what! They're a person, just like you, and they may not like you. You may not get along. My Mom and I mostly tolerate each other, but we are not good for each other, most times. Your kid is not supposed to be there for you - you're supposed to be there for your kid, and that's a lesson a lot of parents forget. And babydaddies do not always stick around. Especially not in these kind of situations. Nope. Admittedly, most of the parents I know that adopted kids fostered to adopt, but there were quite a few single Moms and even a few single dads (and a couple gay couples), so really, there's no limits, at least where I grew up. You do need to have a stable job, though, and pass their inspections/tests/etc. Pinkster, going into debt to /maybe/ find yourself is not worth it. Work a crappy job. Volunteer. Find out what you like, what you don't like. I know it's rough. Everyone wants to know what they want and who they are. But taking on loans is not a good way to do that. Especially not on a maybe chance. Once you know what you like and don't like, figure out what kind of job you might enjoy that will capitalize on what you like. It's hard. I can't really help much with making friends, because I'm a rather antisocial person, but I've gotten to know quite a few classmates and my roommate (who is more social) through coursework and her lab has made several friends and is invited to parties, etc. She's even got a boyfriend (admittedly off of OKCupid) and they get along really well. So it can happen. Smile, be warm, be friendly, and you'll make friends.

I think you're kind of stuck in the land of teenagers, where everything that happens to you is the absolute Worst and no one can Possibly Understand How You're Feeling. The rampant jealousy is part of that too. But guess what - you're going to have to learn to deal with it. You'll run into a lot of people that have what you want, and you need to be able to deal with it like a functional human being. And Pinkster, one of the best adoptive parents I know was a single mother (who was, incidentally, a social worker). Going to graduate school to find a sense of purpose is not going to help. In fact, it will probably make it worse.

Ain't this the finest example of misogynistic slut shaming I've seen on GC so far. Well done. I do agree with the it-will-never-be-perfect argument. There's always going to be something that stops it from being a 'perfect' time.

If you don't trust your friends to tell you the truth, then I'm really sorry for the people you might call friends (if you have any). Not everyone needs to lie to feel better about themselves or their decisions. Not everyone needs to worry about "saving face" when they have people who care about them and would accept them for who they are and what they've done no matter whether it was a genuine mistake or an accident. Sometimes you have to take things at face value and trust the person you're talking with. That's what friends do, after all. They trust each other. I'm done with this thread, at least for now. I very much hope that you gain some perspective before you acquire the degree you're seeking because I believe it would benefit you a great deal.

Who are you to say what's 'ideal', though? What gives you the right to judge the OP for what YOU consider bad decisions? The answer is NO ONE. And they're not common, no. But statistically, SOMEONE has to lose the lottery, and it looks like the OP did. Just because you haven't had it happen doesn't mean it hasn't. For example, I could make this claim: "Oh my gosh, I drank OJ and don't have cancer! That must mean orange juice prevents cancer." See how stupid it sounds? I'm just shaking my head at you right now, I'm afraid. The OP actually has more of an income PLUS a stable relationship than a lot of people have kids. Can you even step back to gain some perspective to see exactly how judgmental you're coming across? The OP is being /incredibly/ responsible. Shit happens. And the OP and his girlfriend are dealing with it in a mature, responsible way by accepting mistakes happen and preparing to take care of the child. That's far better than sitting at your computer trashing someone else for not making the same decision you would have made for YOUR life and YOUR body. Not everyone is the same. I hope you figure that out sooner rather than later. And congrats. Good luck with all you'll learn. Maybe some of it might sink in.

See, sweetie, what you need to understand is that your experiences do not generalize well to the rest of the world. That's how stereotypes are created and perpetuated. One of my close friends got pregnant while she was both on BC and using a condom. Gasp! She obviously is a terrible person, right? Not a good mother to an adorable 4-year-old. Oh, and she's not married! Also, your comments about being 'married' and 'responsible' are adorable. Guess what! You can be married and the most irresponsible arsehat on the planet. Marriage does not make you responsible. In quite a few cases, getting married is the worst decision you can make. Staying married because of children can be an equally horrific decision. You can have your opinions. You can have your way of planning your life, and your perceptions. THAT DOES NOT MAKE THEM MORE RIGHT/BETTER/SMARTER/etc THAN EVERYONE ELSE'S. Just because you wouldn't have kids before getting married DOES NOT make someone who does so irresponsible, uneducated, or liars. The OP seems to have a stable, loving relationship. Just because they don't have a piece of paper that claims them legally binded means nothing. I kind of hope you never get into an MSW program and go into counseling because I think you would do a lot more harm than good with these kind of attitudes. Especially with the changes in society's population today. To the OP, it's hard, yeah. But I know several people in my program with kids (two are pregnant with their second) and they're both doing well. The first two years of med school are actually better than the last two when it comes to having kids (I have quite a few med student friends), so that's something to take into consideration if you want more. Congrats and best of luck to you in the future.

You say this, but when I was applying for my program, my advisor had contacts at every program I applied to (and the one she didn't, one of my other LOR writers did, and my third had additional contacts). And at several others. Especially in the smaller fields, the smaller interests, people know people. If they don't directly know people, they know people that know the people that are going to get the LOR. The higher you go, the more specialized you get, the more likely it is that someone is going to know someone who knows a lot about the LOR writer or knows someone who does.

That's been something I didn't really realize until coming here. Yeah, grants are short, etc. But manuscripts also have to conform to those limits - my advisor was talking about how many references she's had to cut out sometimes in order to stay under the limit the journal wants. It's interesting. She's encouraged me to use as many as I can now and then learn how to cut them out later.

I'm starting to get the hang of balancing everything and I really love how supportive my department is. I think I'm coming down with something for the second bloody time this semester, so that's not good, but it could be worse, I think. At least it's not pneumonia. Or it better not be. Um. I'm good otherwise. Not sleeping enough half the nights, but I'm paying for the time I spent slacking off this week. Despite that, I'm happier than I've been in a while because I'm making time for things I love again. It's been awesome, in that way.

Everyone's been freaking fantastic and nice and awesome. People are super supportive. My adviser's amazingly kind, so is my student mentor (we're going out to coffee this weekend). It's...tomorrow will be two weeks of class and I'm dealing with a lovely wave of imposter syndrome. Haha. I love it here - the program is /fantastic/ and everything is amazing, but man do I feel stupid. I have a class where I'm the only first year and everyone seems so much smarter and that's not helping. My other class there's five of us and I have a fellow first-year in it and we're both feeling stupid. Lots of reading and thinking and I still don't know conclusively what I'm doing right or wrong. I might, if I took a few steps back and thought about it, but. Overall I love it. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, most of the time. But it gets a tad overwhelming if I let myself think about it too long. Oh, and I have one of the most exacting advisers in the department, and she's the prof for one of my classes. So that's terrifying.

One of my professors told me this morning that if I'm not feeling stupid, I'm doing something wrong. A second-year student told me she still feels like the dumbest person in the program sometimes. It's normal. /brand new first-year MA/PhD student who just graduated with her BA in May and who feels dumb as a bucket of rocks

'It's weird, but it works' sums up just about every coping mechanism I've got that works for me. I find myself saying it rather often lately when I explain to a cohortmate why I'm doing something totally ridiculous.

Sooo I'm just entering graduate school (this Thursday, actually), so I don't know wholly how much it's going to effect me, but I'm already getting hints of it as my assistantship's started. I have to have a to-do list visible somewhere. Mine will probably be on my 'notes' section of this giant whiteboard calender I have right next to me. Which also has things on it. I'm contemplating scheduling things (9-9:30 this, etc), but I'm not sure that'll work for me. As much as I want to take notes electronically, it's looking more and more like that won't work for me. I'm too easily distracted when I'm working on a computer. On the bright side I've got a binder for each class, dividers for each binder, and have a nice cheap printer to print out any articles I'll need to. Which will be a lot. Sigh. I'll still have my computer on while working - I like virtual company - but it will be awkward to reach and I'll have to work for it, which makes it less desirable and I'll focus more. With things printed I can just walk away and not worry about it. I do have an iPad mini I like to read on, but anything I need to read intensively will be harder. I still haven't figured out what I'm going to do with articles I need to take notes on. Ugh. Write the notes, then type them, or just type them straight away. The goal would be to keep everything electronic, but we'll see. Routine and order are stupidly important. So we'll see how that works. I'm living with a cohortmate, so we'll see how that goes. Going to try a study group for stats. My adviser is similar to me in terms of the way her mind works, so that helps. I don't plan to ask for accommodations or mention my 'problem'. I've spent years coping with it. It's nothing new, really. Just new challenges to tackle.

Anyone know anything about The Enclave (apartments) or the Haven Apartments? Thanks!

I've been accepted to ASU (Family and Human Development program) and already have my funding info, but do need to do the MMR to register. I'm guessing it's because I have a professor who specifically accepted me to work with me and she's providing my funding, so maybe that has to do with it? I have no idea.

I'm hoping to end up down there this fall. Any tips on when to start looking for apartments?

"Mom, I accepted my offer. Stipend was X amount." "Are you sure that's enough? I'm really worried about you living with the cockroaches and eating ramen, like all the grad students." "...what the heck?" "It doesn't sound like enough...ask them for more money." "[mentor] says it's a good award and the grad students say it's enough to live on. I'll be fine." "I just don't want you living with cockroaches." ...I love you Mom, but dear god.