waitinginvain? Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I've been thrust into a TA position in which I'll have to teach a small class of 22 my first semester of grad school. I have a huge fear of public speaking--as do most of us--and I think I would have an easier time of it if I had a co-teacher. If there's another TA who is just as scared as I am, we could pair up and help in each others' class. There are four of us who will be teaching the same class at different times. There's a mixer coming up, and I think that would be the perfect opportunity to find out if anyone else is nervous, and then approach them with the idea. Is it just a bad/weird plan? Thanks!
hashslinger Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Teaching a small class of 22 is a fairly standard workload, even for a first-time TA. I recommend that you just jump into it and get it over with. You might find someone willing to help you out (and I don't know if this is regular practice at your school) but I have to say that, from my experience, such a thing seems somewhat unusual. Your peers will also be struggling with their own workloads; they might not have time to coordinate co-teaching with you. They will be learning their own students' names, grading their students' work, prepping their own lessons .... I mean, think about it. Do you want to spend your own precious time (which should be spent on your coursework, by the way) learning 22 additional names and helping out with lesson plans that aren't for your own students? Do you really want to spend an extra hour or two in someone else's classroom when you should be devoting that time to your own work? I sympathize with you, believe me. When I started TAing a class of 20 at age 22, I had a crippling fear of public speaking and raging social anxiety. But I had to teach--it was part of my contract. I still remember my first day--my hands shook almost uncontrollably as I passed out the syllabus. (And my students were not nice, and they were not sympathetic.) But I had to just do it and get it over with and become good at it because I had no other choice. And trust me, it does get easier very quickly, a lot more quickly than you might expect.
waitinginvain? Posted August 4, 2012 Author Posted August 4, 2012 You're right. I hadn't thought about the logistics of it. Thank you for your story. You're brave! If you can overcome "a crippling fear of public speaking and raging social anxiety" I can certainly try! It would be easy to back out, but I would also be giving up my dream. Would you mind telling me how you overcame your fears? I look forward to it getting easier! The quicker the better.
hashslinger Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 To be honest, I'm not sure if anyone ever overcomes their fears completely. I still have a moment of nervousness before I step into a classroom no matter what point in the semester. I don't think this ever goes away. But here are some things I did: -A ton of lesson planning. You know those professors who go into their classes and ad-lib or lecture off the top of their heads? Yeah, that's not going to happen when you first start teaching. I compensated for my nervousness by obsessively overplanning my lessons--writing detailed lecture notes, structuring every moment of the class, and developing activities for the students to do. -Going along with that, you'll want to keep the class student-centered. Group work has its downsides, but it can be a savior when you first start teaching. It gives you a little "break" from the spotlight and requires that the students generate ideas, which means that you don't have to carry the whole class. If you're teaching composition, then in-class writing can also be beneficial. Have them write for the first ten or fifteen minutes and then discuss what they wrote. Or, if the discussion slows to a crawl, have them write about what they're thinking. -Know that you will have bad days, especially at first. Don't obsess over it. Don't take it personally when your students don't participate or don't act as you think they should. -Relatedly, don't care more about your students' educations than they do. Do your job well, but don't get sucked into thinking that you are personally responsible for your students' intellectual development and that you must make them care at all costs. You are a TA. Your responsibility is mainly to yourself. -Try to find someone in your program that you can confide in--preferably someone who is sympathetic and has some teaching experience. However, use your discretion here. You don't want to unload your problems onto someone who will blab to everyone that you're having "teaching issues." (I know this from experience.) -If you can, observe someone else's teaching. I found this helpful. (I also found it comforting--I wasn't as bad a teacher as I thought.) -Try to build a rapport with students by having them into your office for one-on-one conferences. If it's possible for you to do so, hold conferences in place of class. (You don't want to overburden yourself with a bunch of extraneous meetings.) -Above all--and I can't stress this enough--do not lose sight of the fact that you are a graduate student and you are there to get a degree. Do not sacrifice your own education for teaching. When you first start teaching, you will probably spend more time than you should lesson planning and grading. However, resist the urge to prioritize teaching and to pin all your self-worth on how well your students are enjoying your class. comp12, mandarin.orange and fuzzylogician 3
Dal PhDer Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 THe above post has such great advice! I wouldn't recommend co-TAing. The logistics of it would be hard, and most of all - this is an experience you will want to have for the future, especially if you want to teach. I don't think anyone has warm and fuzzies when they TA and think about having to go into the class to teach. As others have said, the discomfort of speaking in public will probably not go away. I have talked to many people about it. I remember right before I went into my MA defense, I was talking to the chair and she asked if I was nervous, and I said "very! I'm terrified! I can't wait until the day when that goes away!"...her response "I have been doing this for over 30 years. I still get nervous before I go infront of people and when I am up there. When you don't, that's when you have to worry. Nerves keep you on your feet and good at what you do! So embrace it, because it won't ever go away!" ....This is a common feeling that EVERYONE gets- seasoned pros get it! It won't be so bad once you do it a few times, but the buterflies will always be there! I enjoy teaching much more than presenting. In a class of students, you have to think of yourself as the person who is in command- you are there to teach them! You have a handle on the content/knowledge, and are the ruling force!!! (I like to pretend I am the ruler of the classroom and can cut down anyone at any time with a "NO! You are wrong!" kind of attitude...I don't...but in my head I am a fierce lord in the classroom!" anyways....... Go into the classroom prepared and knowing the content. The students will respect you and you'll be surprised at their response- they will think you're some kind of flashy graduate student! Try and create discussion rather than just lecture. Getting people to discuss and talk will help you ease your nerves- but make sure you do it in small groups first, and then convene into a larger group. My experience with large group discussions right off is that you ask the question and no one response...then you're left standing there saying "anyone? No one wants to say anything? ... anyone?" ...then you look like an awkward grad student. Also, add humour and admit if you don't know anything. Student appreciate if you're like "oh, I don't know that...but I'll check it out and get back to you"...they also like it if you can make them laugh- as you appear approachable! I would often start off my classes with a joke or a funny youtube video. It eased my nerves, got the classes attention, and prepared them to discuss. I would take this opportunity as something exciting and fun! Jump right in and take control! And you might find you really enjoy it! Good luck!
fuzzylogician Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 I don't think anyone has warm and fuzzies when they TA and think about having to go into the class to teach. As others have said, the discomfort of speaking in public will probably not go away. I have talked to many people about it. I remember right before I went into my MA defense, I was talking to the chair and she asked if I was nervous, and I said "very! I'm terrified! I can't wait until the day when that goes away!"...her response "I have been doing this for over 30 years. I still get nervous before I go infront of people and when I am up there. When you don't, that's when you have to worry. Nerves keep you on your feet and good at what you do! So embrace it, because it won't ever go away!" ....This is a common feeling that EVERYONE gets- seasoned pros get it! It won't be so bad once you do it a few times, but the buterflies will always be there! Huh, I think the anxieties at least become more subtle with time, if not go away completely. I used to be afraid to participate in class. That went away in undergrad as I advanced in my program and found out I had smart things to say (mostly by thinking something and then being annoyed that someone else said it and got praised by the instructor, or by having the instructor raise an issue that I had already noticed as something that needed to be brought up -- eventually I decided I should say what I'm thinking because chances are, it's not completely stupid). Then I was terrified when I started teaching - I was a beginning MA student, TAing an advanced class with a reputation for being the hardest in the program, where most of the students were my age or older. The instructor wasn't a great help but I got notes from previous TAs (who were wonderful!) and I prepared elaborate lesson plans. Having a plan on paper and going through it helped, and eventually having to go into a classroom and "perform" in front of people every week had its effect. Now I prepare a plan but I'm not scared to go in front of a class. Giving lectures in front of a larger audience still makes me shiver a little bit, but I'm sure that will subside too, with time. Then I was terrified when I had to start presenting my own work in front of my colleagues and professors in internal research groups and meetings at my PhD program, and later when I had to present at conferences. For the first few conferences I had full scripts of the entire talk which I rehearsed multiple times. Now I give one practice talk but I don't feel the need to write down every word in advance. I still get a short panic attack before going on stage, but it's getting better. I can actually focus on improving my lecturing skills instead of just focusing on getting through the talk. The point of all this being, you need to do this on your own and embrace the experience. You'll get better with time. Others have mentioned the logistic difficulties but those aside it's simply a skill you have to learn if you want to be in academia. Even if you want a research-only position, there will be at least one job-talk in your future, and you will have to TA through school. Better start early and get as much practice as you can.
Dal PhDer Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 Huh, I think the anxieties at least become more subtle with time, if not go away completely. Anxieties or nerves? I agree, I don't dread public speaking as much as I use to (I use to pick my classes based on if I knew there were class presentations or not), but I think the nervousness will never go away - at least not for me. I still get a racing heart, sweats and speech the speed of light, it's not as bad as it use to be- but I think I'll always be like that. I think what the professor was saying to me was that even the people who do it all the time still get nervous, and the nervous feelings help them stay on the ball with preparing and being well versed in whatever they are presenting. If you become lax about presenting, I think you would most likely not take as much effort in making sure you practised and prepared. I agree with Fuzzy as well- this is a skill you need to learn, and it's a skill that only gets better the more you do it.
fuzzylogician Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 Anxieties or nerves? I agree, I don't dread public speaking as much as I use to (I use to pick my classes based on if I knew there were class presentations or not), but I think the nervousness will never go away - at least not for me. I still get a racing heart, sweats and speech the speed of light, it's not as bad as it use to be- but I think I'll always be like that. Fair enough. Though, as you say, a little bit of nerves keep you on your toes. The point is, the crippling anxiety does go away. A classmate of mine fainted the first two times he had to present in class in front of us (us being 6 of his classmates who went through everything in first-year together, and one instructor). He has had a very hard time with his accent and his English in general. This past semester he TAed for the first time. I'm sure he had a terrible time in the beginning, but you wouldn't believe how much his confidence has improved. I'm not saying it's not hard, but it can be done.
rising_star Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 As others have already said, I wouldn't approach someone about co-teaching. In my own program, a common 1st year TA assignment, is to lead 4 weekly one hour discussion sections of 20-25 students... When I had that assignment, it was a PITA just to get someone to cover if you were sick or had to travel, much less someone to regularly come in. There's another thread here on public speaking that you might want to check out for tips on how to deal with public speaking related anxiety. One good idea that works for some is to imagine the whole thing is a performance. You can play someone else in the classroom, someone outspoken that loves engaging with people, even if that isn't your normal personality. It can be exhausting, but also it's for a limited number of hours weekly, which helps.
wildviolet Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 Truly collaborative, creative co-teaching is actually pretty hard. The two of you would have to communicate well verbally and nonverbally. It took me three years of working with the same special education co-teacher EVERY SINGLE DAY to develop our co-teaching to the point where it flowed smoothly. So, nope, I wouldn't suggest it. Plus, I do think it would be kind of weird in grad school unless the assignment is specifically designed that way. I was really shy in school and yet I became a classroom teacher and had to be "on the stage" 6 hours a day every day for the entire school year. Basically, it just takes time and practice. You may also want to have a partner or create an informal discussion group to share and reflect on your TA experiences. Oh, and one more thing... you can always FAKE IT. Walk into that classroom with confidence and look those students right in the eyes (and think to yourself that you're the boss)! They'll never know what hit 'em! Good luck!
wildviolet Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 When I had that assignment, it was a PITA just to get someone to cover if you were sick or had to travel, much less someone to regularly come in. LOL (literally), I just got what PITA stands for. I was pretty sure it didn't go with hummus.
waitinginvain? Posted August 12, 2012 Author Posted August 12, 2012 (edited) Thank you all for your invaluable advice! hashslinger: I'll be teaching a discussion group for an introduction to screenwriting class, so the writing exercises are a great idea! You also hit the nail on the head when you said to make my degree my priority. I tend to be a perfectionist and could easily see myself sacrificing my degree for the students. Also, I'm going to get to class early to arrange the tables and chairs so that the students will face each other instead of me. This should encourage discussions among them and reduce the amount of time I'm "in the spotlight." Thank you, too, for the advice about being careful who I confide in. I hadn't considered this. Dal PhDer: I will try to look at TAing as an exciting opportunity and not a slow walk to the gallows. fuzzylogician: It's inspiring to know that you and fainting guy were able to overcome your terror--especially fainting guy! wildviolet: I've had to act in front of class, so I know what faking is like! You're right. By the way, I like your signature. Edited August 12, 2012 by waitinginvain?
waitinginvain? Posted August 12, 2012 Author Posted August 12, 2012 rising_star, I forgot to thank you. I've contributed to the fear-of-public-speaking thread. But I'll go check it again to see if there are any updates.
wildviolet Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 wildviolet: I've had to act in front of class, so I know what faking is like! You're right. By the way, I like your signature. Thanks! It was inside my fortune cookie, and it really spoke to me.
mandarin.orange Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 -If you can, observe someone else's teaching. I found this helpful. (I also found it comforting--I wasn't as bad a teacher as I thought.) Ah yes, when all else fails, there is nothing like a little schadenfreude. Seriously, there is some great advice here - both in hashslinger's post, and the rest of the thread. It does get easier with time. I taught high school for several years, and while I don't feel I'm someone with that rare natural charisma needed for young people, with hard work you learn and become more adept. Also, your first day as a TA cannot possibly be as bad as my first day encountering high school seniors. No way, no how! I'm not teaching at present, but when I give talks to my dept. or for class, I still get amped up beforehand. Sometimes it's excitement about the material, sometimes it's nerves; it never really goes away.
wildviolet Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Also, your first day as a TA cannot possibly be as bad as my first day encountering high school seniors. No way, no how! Ha ha, I agree! I started teaching high school when I was 22, and I had one class of mixed juniors and seniors. Yikes did I feel green! And, despite wearing heels, makeup, and a dress, I got yelled at twice for being in the hallway during class. I had to sheepishly say that I was a new teacher.
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