Thanks...but no.

[kate_ellen]

So, I know that I am going to turn an offer down but I'm genuinely concerned as the right etiquette for doing so. As with all of the places I applied to, I built up a rapport with a prospective supervisor who was kind enough to read and comment on SOP drafts and even my writing sample. She's a major player in my field and I don't want her to think I have been ungrateful for her help and support, however, I got into a school that I really didn't think I would do (with a much better finance package) and so I do need to turn the other offer down.

How do you go about doing this in a way that doesn't sever ties (as I say, in my field I will certainly encounter her again) but does acknowledge that I've given the offer serious consideration?

(apologies of the jackass topic title - I have no intention of writing that in the email!)

[liszt85]

Probably say something like acceptances from all these wonderful places put you in a tight spot and after careful deliberation and advice from various different quarters, you've decided to go ahead and accept one of the other offers. Thank her for being encouraging and enthusiastic about your application and tell her that you'd follow her work with interest over the coming years and that it'd be nice to meet her someday, maybe at a conference I've sent out a few such emails and I've always received a warm reply. I don't think you need to be too worried.

[miratrix]

Good response, I'm going to keep that in mind!

[socialpsych]

Yeah. What I wrote is pretty much identical to what lizst85 suggested. Also: if you can do so politely, be specific about what made you choose the other school (schools like to know, just as we would all like to know what made them reject/waitlist us!); and if you are wondering whether to include the name of the school you'll be attending, many people do so and it's probably fine, but you don't have to (and a few people have told me you shouldn't).

[kate_ellen]

Thanks all...good to know. I wasn't sure myself about giving reasons/names of other schools (especially re: differences in finances etc). Anyway, I'll compose something this weekend.

[rising_star]

Here's a cut-and-paste (without the details) of what I sent to one prospective advisor last year:

"I just wanted to let you know that I've decided not to attend University X in the fall. These sorts of decisions are really tough and I'm hoping (fingers crossed) that I'm making the right one. Hopefully our paths will cross again in the future and maybe we can even collaborate on future research. Who knows, maybe I'll get to participate in the study abroad program you run in the future. Thank you again for organizing my visit to University X, your helpfulness with all of my questions, and your hospitality. I really appreciate it."

[flyinglion]

So, I know that I am going to turn an offer down but I'm genuinely concerned as the right etiquette for doing so. As with all of the places I applied to, I built up a rapport with a prospective supervisor who was kind enough to read and comment on SOP drafts and even my writing sample. She's a major player in my field and I don't want her to think I have been ungrateful for her help and support, however, I got into a school that I really didn't think I would do (with a much better finance package) and so I do need to turn the other offer down.

How do you go about doing this in a way that doesn't sever ties (as I say, in my field I will certainly encounter her again) but does acknowledge that I've given the offer serious consideration?

(apologies of the jackass topic title - I have no intention of writing that in the email!)

oh yea, I am worrying about similar things! I feel scared to say no to those profs who I have wonderful talks with, exchange ideas with, and from whom I received lots of encouragements!

Some profs are very considerate on this, one of potential advisor told me" I definitely want u to come, But if u decide not to come, I won't be personally offended"

[mm_donuts]

I have a similar question, but slightly different circumstances.

If the Graduate School requires you to fill out a response form, is it also necessary to send an email to the specific department declining the offer/saying thank you if you did NOT build a rapport with any particular professor there? I only spoke with one potential advisor very briefly during a campus visit back in December. We didn't have any email exchanges before or after that, except for me writing to say, "Thanks for meeting with me."

[daydaydvd]

Thanks all...good to know. I wasn't sure myself about giving reasons/names of other schools (especially re: differences in finances etc). Anyway, I'll compose something this weekend.

Why be shy to talk about money. I think that money can be a universal excuse that people can accept easily. More money can do many things that less money can not. Like a debt to pay, and having a sibling to help. Anything!

It is a common sence that people made the decision based on the economic situation.

[artandrelig]

I have a similar question, but slightly different circumstances.

If the Graduate School requires you to fill out a response form, is it also necessary to send an email to the specific department declining the offer/saying thank you if you did NOT build a rapport with any particular professor there? I only spoke with one potential advisor very briefly during a campus visit back in December. We didn't have any email exchanges before or after that, except for me writing to say, "Thanks for meeting with me."

i'm in the same boat- i thought i would perhaps send a letter along with the decline form, just saying thank you so much but i have received an offer with considerable funding elsewhere, i look forward to one day meeting you as I'm sure our paths will cross, etc. anyone have any thoughts on this? is email a better tactic?