Overuse of My/Me/I in SOP?

[AnthroPerson]

Hey all... we're almost there! AHHHHH

I felt like I was in a great place with my SOP, having had several people look over it. To calm his nerves, I gave my dad a copy of my SOP to look over, and he came back telling me that it was overrun with use of "I/Me/My". Now, not every sentence starts with "I" and there is a variety of sentence structures, but these words DO come up a lot - how could they not?. Now he's got me second-guessing my work. I'm trying to go through and take some out but I'm worried I'll start tearing apart the structure of the paper. A few sentences I've started playing with become too passive when I take these words out... ie, "as I began my senior thesis" becomes "as the thesis process began"...ew.

Thoughts? How did you avoid the overuse of "I" phrases, or do you think it's not a huge issue?

[1Q84]

I think it's silly to avoid the use of first person pronouns. It's a freakin' personal statement! It's supposed to be about me (you!) Like you said, it'll just sound stilted and awkward and like you can't write if you try mixing it up too much.

Although I did read somewhere that the overuse (or even use altogether) of "I" in emails or correspondence signified subservience and a lack of power. But of course when it comes to grad apps, we already know very clearly what position we all occupy...

[fuzzylogician]

My opinion:

[queenleblanc]

I wouldn't be seriously concerned about counting the use of the personal pronouns. However, I would definitely be concerned with the variety of your sentence structure. Consider the advice you probably got WAY BACK WHEN, telling stories orally in Language Arts class. "and then I did ..." "Then I did"... avoid the repetitive phrases that can make your personal statement too predictable. Sometimes you NEED to focus on "ME" (you). Sometimes you ARE an integral part of the sentence, but the focus is more on the experience I describe, so I change the sentence to represent that.

As an example:

BAD:

I went to Haiti on a mission trip and I worked with poverty-stricken people and I built homes in Cite de Soleil. I feel that this experience has given me countless rewards and perspective on my own life. (yes, that is a poorly structured set of sentences and overly simplified).

GOOD:

Building homes for poverty-stricken people in Cite de Soleil was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. The mission trip to Haiti was about meeting, interacting with, and working for people in Port-au-Prince, and this experience has enriched my life and has given me an appreciation for a diverse perspective in the many ways people live life (blah,. blah, blah).

I hope that makes sense. YES, both sentences were about ME. However, I phrased the second set differently to put the focus on how the experience has impacted me (and of course I cut out / changed details at the end because this is a public forum). If you have experiences that make YOU who you are, INCLUDE THOSE. Just be careful about the sentence structure, the focus / hook, and what you want to communicate. Remember that it's not just a LIST of things about you -- but an essay that gives the admissions committee a connected picture of what MAKES you who you are.

Good luck!!