declining a visit/offer

[Guest guest]

I've been accepted to my top choice schools and a few days ago I was notified through email that I was accepted at one of my "safeties" (I have no interest of attending now). I politely wrote to the professors who emailed me saying I needed time to think about their offer and their request to visit. I said that I am appreciative of their offer but have other competitive offers as well.

I honestly don't want to attend their program and I don't want to waste my time and theirs by visiting if I have no interest. Is anyone else in this sort of position and how I can I politely decline their offer to visit? Also, some of the professors want to talk to me on the phone but I really don't want to get their hopes up too high. But then I don't want to "burn any bridges" and appear rude.

[PETRAL6]

I think they understand you're position. I would say up front that you appreciate their offer, but have decided to attend another school. This will allow them to talk to the next person in line. They may be a little disappointed if you were one of their top choices, but they go through this every year and I'm sure will not hold it against you. If they e-mail to talk to you on the phone and you know that you will not attend the school, say politely that you have decided on another school. Usually they ask if you have made a decision before they ask for a phone call, so it's surprising they didn't. If you can't politely turn down a phone call, they should ask you what offers you have at some point or what decision you have made and you can politely say that you plan on taking the other offer at this point.

[Guest guest]

i'm in a similar situation. but a little bit complicated.

one school (A) offered me funding very early (in feb.) and invited me to visit their school. at that time, i didn't know whether i'd get into my top choice. so i of course said i'd like to visit their school in the first week of april. they would help pay for my flight. now, i have an offer from my top choice (school and i was wondering what i am supposed to do. i have booked the ticket to school A in feb. and promised to visit the school, but it is quite possible that i would decline their offer anyhow. considering that the visit is just about a week ahead, shall i tell them i've made up my mind and wouldn't visit? or wait till i've visited school A and tell them i couldn't accept the offer. either way, i feel quite bad. the profs in school A have called me before and they are very nice to me. They are also big names in the field, and I would definitely meet them again in future conferences. anyone has some advice what I should do?

[PETRAL6]

If you've already bought the ticket and are willing to eat the cost yourself, tell them you won't be attending because you've already decided to attend another school. Talk personally the professors you would be working with at School A and tell them how interesting their work is and how their offer was very difficult to decline, but the other school a) was in a better city for you (can't get offended about that) gave you more money c) had research interests that better meshed. Otherwise, in this situation, you may want to attend so you get the ticket refunded enjoy the schmoozing, and wait until a few days after you get back and call the profs from that school the above. Over the course of the weekend, you should prepare them for this by telling them you have a very difficult decision to make because you like professor A and B at school A, but you have another very good offer.

[rising_star]

I wasn't going to visit a school because I'd gotten into my top choice. Then, they mentioned the possibility of full funding and offered to offset the cost of a visit and I decided that I'd go because, though I'd applied there, I'd never really given them a chance. That said, the two schools are now tied on my list. If I hadn't visited, I'd have written off an excellent program that's a good fit for me just because I dislike the Midwest.

*shrug* Maybe the visit will change your mind about the school?

[Guest guest]

i'm the second guest above with schools A & B. Thanks PETRAL6 & brittdreams for your advice. i guess i'd still visit school A anyways. i know right now i lean more to school b; i bet after the visit, i would have an even tougher time to decide coz i know i'll love school a. now, the grad students in school c are emailing me to offer help in deciding. it makes me feel so guilty having to decline two offers. i wish the profs i'm interested in working with were teaching in the same school -- it would make things much easier........