SOP review

[OhioStateStudent]

Hey guys,

 

I "finished" my SOP about a week ago, and thus far I have been pretty happy with it. However, I'm still anxious about it not being up to par, and I was hoping you guys might have some constructive criticisms/comments. Thanks.

 

 

 

I am presently a senior Economics major and Mathematics minor at -------- University and I expect to graduate this upcoming May, 2013, with a Bachelor’s of Science with Honors in the Arts and Sciences. During my course of study at ------, I have been introduced to a wide range of mathematical and statistical concepts, and I have enthusiastically committed myself to furthering my knowledge and understanding of them. However, an undergraduate education has understandable thematic and conceptual constraints. Therefore, I am determined and eager to continue my studies by pursuing a Ph. D in Statistics.

            I first realized my deep interest in the subject when I took an introductory course at the beginning of my Junior year. Following the initial set of lectures, I was completely absorbed by the material. I was especially attracted to the interdisciplinary nature and wide scope inherent to Statistics, particularly, the ability of its concepts and methods to make sense and inferences out of seemingly indecipherable sets of data from any field. Given my academic background, Statistic’s constant use of mathematical tools and principles as the basis underlying the analyses of data was instrumental in cementing my interest.

            Furthermore, Statistics provides an intriguing dynamic between theory and application that is matched by few other disciplines. It is not restricted to its own theoretical paradigms, but rather has the capacity to delve into the framework of other subjects, utilizing and maximizing their ideas. Thus, it has the ability to extrapolate information not only from statistical theories, but also from those related to other fields, and apply them to gain insight into almost any problem. In sum, the study of Statistics represents an intensely stimulating and satisfying academic endeavor, and I am continually amazed by its depth, power, and applicability.

            Although I am fascinated by all aspects of the discipline, I am particularly interested in exploring and learning about statistical inference theory and spatial statistics. Since the ability to make educated conclusions from data is so central to the field, I want to significantly expand my knowledge in this area. Specifically, I want to investigate alternative methods of drawing inference, with a focus on a Bayesian approach. In addition, I am interested in exploring more advanced methods for correcting conditions that cause inferences to be invalidated. I am also deeply curious about spatial statistics, both in its theory and its application, as it provides new and exciting methods to push the boundaries of the field.

            My goal is to pursue a career in academia, as it would allow me to combine my passion for scholarship with my interest in teaching. Moreover, academia is perhaps the ideal medium in which I can be an integral part of new and exciting research, and truly be an important contributor to the field.  I believe that a career in research consistently offers fulfilling challenges in problem solving and learning.

            I am applying to ------- because I am confident that it would be the best institution to further develop my intellectual skills and to fulfill my research aspirations.  I have examined your department extensively, and I am drawn in by the quality of the faculty and their scholarship. My academic interests align well with your department’s areas of specialization. In terms of character, I believe intensely that a relationship of professionalism and collaboration among graduate students and faculty is essential to creating an environment conducive to research and learning. I am confident that given the opportunity I will be a solid contributor to maintaining such an atmosphere, both through my scholarship and collegiality.

             In conclusion, I would like to thank the admissions committee for reviewing my application and for their consideration of my candidacy.

[stmwap]

It looks mostly good!  Here are my suggestions.  

 

I am presently a senior Economics major and Mathematics minor at -------- University and I expect to graduate this upcoming May, 2013, with a Bachelor’s of Science with Honors in the Arts and Sciences. 

 

They will know this from other parts of your application, so you should probably leave it out.

 

However, an undergraduate education has understandable thematic and conceptual constraints. Therefore, I am determined and eager to continue my studies by pursuing a Ph. D in Statistics.

 

I wouldn't say that your undergraduate education has any limitations.  Emphasize the positives.  

 

            I first realized my deep interest in the subject when I took an introductory course at the beginning of my Junior year. Following the initial set of lectures, I was completely absorbed by the material.

 

I'm not sure "absorbed" is the best word choice here.  Enthralled?

 

I was especially attracted to the interdisciplinary nature and wide scope inherent to Statistics, particularly, the ability of its concepts and methods to make sense and inferences out of seemingly indecipherable sets of data from any field. 

 

I don't think statistics should be capitalized here, or in any other part of your SOP .  Also, this sentence is a bit wordy.  Perhaps separate it into two different ones?

 

Given my academic background, Statistic’s constant use of mathematical tools and principles as the basis underlying the analyses of data was instrumental in cementing my interest.

 

"Cementing" also seems like an odd word to use, but maybe that's just me.

 

            Furthermore, Statistics provides an intriguing dynamic between theory and application that is matched by few other disciplines.

 

I would try not to insult other disciplines.

 

It is not restricted to its own theoretical paradigms, but rather has the capacity to delve into the framework of other subjects, utilizing and maximizing their ideas.

 

The field of statistics itself does not have the capacity to do anything.  Statisticians may delve into the framework of other subjects, etc.

 

Thus, it has the ability to extrapolate information not only from statistical theories

 

Same problem here.

 

My goal is to pursue a career in academia, as it would allow me to combine my passion for scholarship with my interest in teaching.

 

I would avoid mentioning teaching.  At least in my field, research should always be the priority.

 

            I am applying to ------- because I am confident that it would be the best institution to further develop my intellectual skills and to fulfill my research aspirations.  I have examined your department extensively, and I am drawn in by the quality of the faculty and their scholarship. My academic interests align well with your department’s areas of specialization.

 

Be more specific here!  Which faculty interest you?  

 

In conclusion, I would like to thank the admissions committee for reviewing my application and for their consideration of my candidacy.

 

I would leave this out.  It just seems like you are being a brown-noser.

[selecttext]

It is well written but try to incorporate paragraphs 1 and 4 since your opening is a bit vague.

Edited January 2, 2013 by david.timerman