The letter would be great, if only he would write it...

[sestina]

I have an interesting story for you guys.  I met with this prof back in early November, and he was very enthusiastic about writing a letter of recommendation for me. I emailed an organized spreadsheet with a list of schools and deadlines. I resent the email before Thanksgiving with a reminder of the Dec. 15 deadline. Finally I met with him in person on Dec. 7 and he assured me that he would be able to get it done in time.

 

December 15 comes and goes. Letters not submitted.

 

The following week I track him down in person, and he is still insistent that he will get it done. But it becomes clear to me that he is suffering from some mental problems. I think he may be having a nervous breakdown! At this point I have to go home for winter break, and I pray that he will get the letters done as promised.

 

January 8 and letters still not sent.

 

I have not contacted him over winter break because I don't think it would be in either of our best interests. At this point I have completely given up hope.

 

It is one thing for a prof to be late with the letter, but to not write it at all?! A plea to all profs out there: if you cannot or do not want to write the letter, please just tell us. We will not be offended. But stringing someone along like this is just ridiculous!

[asleepawake]

Winter break is over or almost over, depending on your school. E-mail, e-mail, e-mail.

[sestina]

He did not forget to do it. He just... didn't do it. I see no benefit in emailing him AGAIN. I will take my chances with my 2 strong letters and if schools ask, I will tell them that the last recommender is having medical issues...

 

Next time I go through this process, I know what to do differently...

[TakeruK]

I don't understand why you are giving up now -- it is worth at least one more attempt to contact him now that the new year/term has started.

 

If you don't think it's healthy for you to continuing pursuing this, then fine, but don't "tell [other schools] that the last recommender is having medical issues" !! You aren't in a position to diagnose him and it will just make your application be more strange.

[iowaguy]

If the applications ask for 3 recommenders, I would not just provide 2, that might sink your application!  Everyone else applying is in the same boat as you are, the adcom likely won't look favorably on you not having a 3rd recommender, regardless of the reasoning/excuses behind it...

[PhDreams]

This issue is prob one of the most common issues people have. It's part of academic life. You have to figure out how to navigate this system and get the outcome you want. This might mean coming up with serveral alternative strategies- popping in to see your professor, giving them a call, or finding a last minute rec entirely...but don't give up!!! I did various variations on all of these. Ultimately, I secured a fourth recommender and then my third came through... a MONTH after deadlines. So....... you just never know. Best of luck to you!!

[hopeful80]

I have a recommender like this and it is one of my greatest fears, because this person has been back and forth for 2 months and is almost impossible to pin down.

 

It looks like your professer has the exact same track record as my guy. You don't want to become a pain in their rear but at the same time they're NOT DOING WHAT THEY SAID THEY WOULD DO. It's a serious lack of professionalism so I 1000% understand your frustration.

 

I'm sorry you have to go through with this .. and I'd say in this case it won't hurt to try one last time. To add a spice of urgency, ,maybe add this -

 

Dear XXX,

 

Thank you for agreeing to write a letter of recommendation for me. I am emailing to send you a friendly reminder that the deadline of XXX is quickly approaching, and if all of my materials are not submitted by such date then my application will be dropped and I will be automatically rejected from my program. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you with this process, and do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.

 

Sincerely,

 

XXX

 

To me, it's polite, not too pushy but still urgent. I underlined, bolded, etc too. Seriously. If someone who gave you their WORD they would write a recommendation for you doesn't come through with absolutely no excuses, that's a lack of integrity and you have every right to be upset.

 

Good luck!

Edited January 9, 2013 by hopeful80

[hopeful80]

Also - it looks like this guy may not be able to be depended on - find a back up pronto! Even if it's not your top choice, you don't want to sink your shot at getting in because of one recommender's flakiness.

[asleepawake]

Please don't diagnose your LOR writer and speak for his health to adcoms. This is a really, really bad idea.

Can you ask somebody else?

[midnight]

I'm waiting on one rec, too. It took the prof several weeks and a follow-up email just to get back in touch with me, then a promise that the rec would be in shortly after the end of the semester. Now my first deadline is looming, but there's no rec submitted, and the prof hasn't responded to another email.

 

I can't just throw my hands up and say forget it, though! I'm going to attempt to call on Friday if he hasn't submitted it by then.

 

Sometimes people excuse professors' absentmindedness and unprofessional behavior when it comes to this sort of thing, but I have to say it's an incredibly frustrating and ridiculous process. This sort of thing can have a hugely negative effect on someone's future, and professors should be held accountable for this sort of thing--the problem is, they're not.

[sestina]

Thank you everyone, I resent the notifications through the school websites. I hope he checks his email, though. (I'm doubtful.)

 

I was able to snag a great recommender for my first choice school. He knows people at the program and wrote a very individualized letter. I am hoping that pulls through and then the others won't matter.