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Got my 3rd rejection...


dumpling

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just got my first grad school rejection letter, from my dream school to boot, and i'm feeling fairly incompetent and worthless. how do you cope with rejection? 

 

It's tough. I, too, was rejected from my dream school and I cried about it...to my counselor.

 

After a couple weeks I decided to call the department and ask why I was rejected. Once I found out that all I needed was more research I thought, 'That's it?' At least I knew that I had the grades to get in.

 

But I realized that I didn't want to go into that program anymore, and that I was going into it for the wrong reasons. Now I'm waiting on decisions to three schools in a totally different program that is more my speed.

 

Rejection is tough but you're not alone. Hang in there! :)

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So I just got my 3rd rejection this morning.  I could have waited, but the waiting is kiling me (I am sure everyone on this board understands), so I send an email to ask, and got the "sorry" email this morning...  My fault... or is it?

 

I am 3rd time applicant, everyone around told me I have good chances.  Now think about it, maybe they just love me and can't be rational about my application. 

 

I am just so lost, devasted, and don't know what to believe in.  I've got a job, not good not bad.  Life could be just like that, like forever.  But I just can't bear the idea of not doing a PhD.  I really don't know what I need to do to make things right...  None of my friends will understand such feelings maybe...

 

This is my last chance.  If I fail again, I might find another job, doodling for a couple years.  Then maybe I will want to apply again, maybe not.  Maybe I'd have kids, maybe I grow old and forget what I was passionate about before.

 

We all have dreams.  For me, it might just be the wrong one.

 

 

My life....

 

This is my 2nd time applying. Previously rejected from all 5 programs.This year I've already been rejected from 3 (possibly 5) of my schools... it's hard on the spirit. Keep telling myself "it just takes one".

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It would be nice for a little more information because I am also a bit surprised that you are not getting any acceptances your third time around.

 

What have you done to improve your application each round? Did you do more research, get a job in your field, ask professors and other people in your field to review your CV and SOP (not just friends - sometimes they don't know how to give constructive criticism). Getting your masters first might be the best way to go, for some programs it isn't. You've had a couple years, were you able to publish? Are you only applying to "top tier" programs and how many schools?

 

Since admissions are never guaranteed, I wanted to make sure what my plan was if I didn't get into a program. For example, my backup plan was to either volunteer part-time in an academic lab or apply to a formal post-bac/PREP program, work my ass off and try to get published before the next round (which would also strengthen my letter of recommendations), retake my subject GRE, and maybe take one or two more graduate level courses. What is your plan?

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Perhaps you should watch "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. It's by a terminally ill professor who is giving his last lecture before dying, talking about how to achieve your dreams.

 

Anyway, a repeating theme in it is that "brick walls [rejections and obstacles] are only there to separate those who really want it." If there is a set back, don't give up! Getting past setbacks is proof that you are truly doing what you want. If you give up easily, well it's a sign that it wasn't really worth pursuing in the first place.

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Oh my god, I can't believe I got so many replies...

You guys are so kind, so supportive!

I recently got a waitlist from my dream school...  To me it's kind of a torture actually.  I used to be waitlisted, from another school, really good one.  But eventually I got rejected, and I found this out in mid April...  I asked them the reason, they told me it was my Toefl (actually my Oral English isn't that bad at all, I've been working in US for 3 years).  Then I retook it, and reapplied, only to be re-rejected this year (not even waitlisted this time).

Anyways, I got a lot of positive energy from you guys.  Can't say how much I appreciate this... 

I will update again once I got all results!  Thanks guys!

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I understand that this process is just wearing. This is the second time I apply and  the second time I get rejected by the schools that did interview me. The first time I got an abysmal GRE and anyhow I was interviewed via skype for NYU, but I wasn't accepted. This time I prepared myself for six months, I got new and much better GRE scores, new essays, a better resumé, and I was invited to Princeton. And anyhow I managed to screw it up at the interview... again. I am still waiting for the other universities, but I am really discouraged. I work as an editor, applications consumed my whole life and all my free time to write, which is my other calling, besides academy, and I am not getting any younger. So I get you. But at the same time I know for sure that even the grief is just not worth it. Move on. This time I am much more down to earth. I already started the application for an MA in a school that is very convenient for me and not as competitive. Just in case. Maybe this the long, necessary way. 

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I understand that this process is just wearing. This is the second time I apply and  the second time I get rejected by the schools that did interview me. The first time I got an abysmal GRE and anyhow I was interviewed via skype for NYU, but I wasn't accepted. This time I prepared myself for six months, I got new and much better GRE scores, new essays, a better resumé, and I was invited to Princeton. And anyhow I managed to screw it up at the interview... again. I am still waiting for the other universities, but I am really discouraged. I work as an editor, applications consumed my whole life and all my free time to write, which is my other calling, besides academy, and I am not getting any younger. So I get you. But at the same time I know for sure that even the grief is just not worth it. Move on. This time I am much more down to earth. I already started the application for an MA in a school that is very convenient for me and not as competitive. Just in case. Maybe this the long, necessary way. 

Thanks!  I guess we share the same feelings.  I work at a bank, the stress is kiling me.  Everyday I go to work, wishing my phone to ring with good news, so I can say goodbye to those suckers...  Feel really depressed lately. 

 

But on the other hand, I knew it's probably just me.  I should probably re-focus and let it go...

 

Wish you the best!

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I am guessing that you shot way too high your first time. If that is the case, you should have done a few crappy backup schools for the second time, with some nice schools. If that's also the case, you should have done about 15 crappy backup schools the third time. 

 

If you shot too high with no net all three times, then I think you have learned the lesson very well. I would immediately look for some March deadline schools (perhaps even later) in order to salvage your PhD dream. 

 

In the end, it's not only about the school, but about the project you end up working with. Find a good PI, not a good school.

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