Worried inquiry email was too curt...

[spacezeppelin]

So, its probably a little late now, but I’m really concerned that an email I sent came off as rude or too blunt. As some background, I was accepted into a masters program over a month ago was told I would receive funding information shortly. I never was contacted and I have other offers and the school (the one that said they would call with funding info) wants an answer my March 15^th…so I sent an email. The school really is at the top of my list, but I don’t feel that I can accept or refuse any offers without having all the information.

 

I was counseled to make it short and direct, but I think it may have been too direct. Do you guys think this was a mistake?

 

“I would like to reiterate my interest in XXX University and thank the admissions committee for its show of support. I am hoping to make a final decision in my choice of graduate school shortly, and recognize that an answer was requested by March 15^th.

 

 I would like to try and meet that deadline, though I have other competitive offers and expect more responses this later month. I would love the opportunity to visit XXX University and learn more about the department.  Additionally, my acceptance letter on January 29^th indicated an intention to offer fellowship support. I would appreciate knowing the specific terms of that support as soon as they become available so I can make a timely decision.

 

Best,

SpaceZeppelin"

[ZacharyObama]

Not IMHO - they're the one's being remiss by not following up on funding and requesting an answer by March 15th (which is really kind of early all things considered). Perhaps the only phrase that shows your frustration is "specific terms" which would suggest that they would give you further unspecified terms. But other than that...meh, they're not on top of it.

[ridofme]

Your email was not rude at all. In fact, if it were me, I might have gotten to the part about the money a little sooner!

[callista]

I think this is fine!

[calmflare]

This is beautifully-crafted. Well done!

[TakeruK]

It sounds like an appropriate email to me!