Friends/Family "helping" you decide which school is "better."

[pears]

ah, yes, middleburg. a fine NESCAC institution! right up there with goldy, will.i.am, plates, and bowdonkadonk,   bless our well-intentioned parents' hearts, for they know not what they say...

[ArtHistoryandMuseum]

My favorite thing is when parents just assume that applying to grad school is the same as applying to undergraduate.

 

Mom: "You should apply to that school your best friend went to, Middleburg? He liked it there!"

Me: "Do you mean Middlebury? It's just a college. I can't apply there."

Mom: "Well it was good enough for him, why isn't it good enough for you?"

 

Cue facepalm

Haha, I wish there was a MA in Art History at Middlebury!

The hands on training with the college's museum collections, and its staff, would be so fantastic. Sigh

[Emdave]

Haha, I wish there was a MA in Art History at Middlebury!

The hands on training with the college's museum collections, and its staff, would be so fantastic. Sigh

 

I wish they offered MAs in my field too, but that's just the point my mom doesn't get: They. Aren't. A. Gradschool. She thinks that I should just apply to all the schools I applied to for undergrad, because, well, I liked them at one point, didn't I? Doesn't matter if they offer graduate degrees.

 

She also doesn't understand the point of advisers, hence:

 

Mom: "Wait, why can't you go to this school?"

Me: "There's no one there who could teach/advise me on my field."

Mom: "Are you actually trying to tell me there aren't teachers at a University? Seriously?"

Me: "Not in my field, and I have to have an adviser!"

Mom: "Just ask one of the teachers to do it! Isn't that their job! Teaching!"

 

More facepalm

 

Blerg

Edited March 29, 2013 by Emdave

[midnight]

ah, yes, middleburg. a fine NESCAC institution! right up there with goldy, will.i.am, plates, and bowdonkadonk,   bless our well-intentioned parents' hearts, for they know not what they say...

 

OMG, ded.

 

My sister-in-law is a proud alum of Conn Coll, though the other NESCAC schools would taunt the Camels by chanting "safety school" at hockey games.

[ArtHistoryandMuseum]

^^ Haha, blergh indeed.

Seeking an applicable GIF starring Liz Lemon......

(Too many GIFs! Too many GIFs!)

[hmurray]

I am in a similar situation, weighing up an unfunded offer from Oxford versus a fully-funded place at another UK uni. I don't know if Oxford is my top choice for supervision and professional development.

 

My sister's response, 'No go to Oxford you idiot'. 

 

Gahhhh. Not helpful.

[paridiso]

I'm in a similar situation as well.  I got an offer to work with a professor at UCSB who's work I find very exciting and an offer to work with a professor at Northwestern who I don't find as exciting.  Northwestern's offering me a bit more money so parents think it's definitely the best option, but I'm pretty set on UCSB since I find their work to be much more interesting.  Parents think this is a huge mistake and that I should go with Northwestern.  I think it's mostly because they want me to be somewhat close to home.  Any suggestions for dealing with this situation?

[selecttext]

I am in a similar situation, weighing up an unfunded offer from Oxford versus a fully-funded place at another UK uni. I don't know if Oxford is my top choice for supervision and professional development.

 

My sister's response, 'No go to Oxford you idiot'. 

 

Gahhhh. Not helpful.

 

i'd suggest not bankrupting yourself over a PhD which may not drastically improve your life-time earnings.

[thedhalia]

My mother got a coworker of hers on the phone with me who went to Pensacola State (not UF, where I was accepted) and lived in DC for a year or so (and did not attend Georgetown). 

"Hi, nice to meet you. You HAVE to go to Georgetown; Florida is a backwards place and DC has shopping and cute boys."

"Thanks for your advice. It's truly invaluable."

 

I live in SoCal and the analogies never end. GU is to downtown LA as UF is to Bakersfield, CA... 

[katieliz456]

I've had 2 profs advise me to choose the school with the best marriage prospects : P

 

"Well, you should think about the size/presence of the other graduate programs...like engineering and med...because, you know, sometimes it's nice to have, um, males around.... since your program is 98% female.... you know?"

 

(I actually thought it was good advice, but was just surprised that they really said it aloud!"

[student12345]

My mother got a coworker of hers on the phone with me who went to Pensacola State (not UF, where I was accepted) and lived in DC for a year or so (and did not attend Georgetown).

"Hi, nice to meet you. You HAVE to go to Georgetown; Florida is a backwards place and DC has shopping and cute boys."

"Thanks for your advice. It's truly invaluable."

I live in SoCal and the analogies never end. GU is to downtown LA as UF is to Bakersfield, CA...

Gainesville rocks! I hope you'll visit!

[nackteziege]

Gainesville rocks! I hope you'll visit!

 

Seconded.  Gainesville is one of my favorite places.

[annieca]

Honestly, I've had the opposite. I've only been talking about my decision with my parents, my sister and my adviser back home since I'm in the UK right now and the time difference is hellishly annoying. My adviser wants me to go where I'm happy, as does my sister I think. My parents... there's an undercurrent to go to the school with less debt but they know I'm going to make my own decision.

 

But I've enjoyed reading the facepalms on this thread!

[Ezzy]

I've had 2 profs advise me to choose the school with the best marriage prospects : P

 

"Well, you should think about the size/presence of the other graduate programs...like engineering and med...because, you know, sometimes it's nice to have, um, males around.... since your program is 98% female.... you know?"

 

(I actually thought it was good advice, but was just surprised that they really said it aloud!"

 

Ha, thank god for speech-language pathology then! I somehow doubt the dating prospects will be that great for me within EE...

[Deadmeat]

I always get "Why didn't you apply to X, Y, and Z schools in the Philadelphia area (where I live)"...

 

Because I want to get the hell out of this area! 

[pears]

Deadmeat: i totally feel you! i grew up mostly in NJ, so a lot of my relatives on both sides of the family live there. i love them all, of course, but... a lot of them got stuck in the trap of inertia and comfort, and never left the towns they grew up in where their parents still are. they were shocked when the closest undergrad places i applied to were in boston, and simply didn't understand why i wouldn't apply to princeton or the laundry list of state schools, or "at least some ivies that were closer to (them)." blugh.

 

now i'm getting the same complaints, but at least i can tell them that none of the schools in NJ or PA have what i want to study- which is true, but really, it'd take one heck of a stipend to convince me to go back to the east coast any time soon. 

[Emdave]

Still on a waitlist, waiting and waiting and waiting.

 

Grandpa: "Are you just waiting for XXXX?"

Me: "Yes"

Grandpa: "You're waiting for them to accept you with money. Why don't you just pay them money to go there. It's like a private school, right?"

Me: "There are so many things wrong with that statement. I can't just show up with a wad of cash and say 'here I am!'"

Grandpa: "Why not?"

Me: "Well, beyond the fact that that could be misconstrued as bribery..... there's the whole they-have-to-accept-me thing."

 

another facepalm

[Fleet23]

When I called my grandma to tell her where I got accepted, her reaction was:  "Harvard!  I've heard of that one!"  Almost all of my friends keep telling me it's stupid not to go there.  I simply cannot explain that it wasn't my #1 program, or that it would cost considerably more than the other schools to their satisfaction.

[thedhalia]

I've had 2 profs advise me to choose the school with the best marriage prospects : P

 

"Well, you should think about the size/presence of the other graduate programs...like engineering and med...because, you know, sometimes it's nice to have, um, males around.... since your program is 98% female.... you know?"

 

(I actually thought it was good advice, but was just surprised that they really said it aloud!"

That's hilarious. I agree that it was good advice, though! I can't imagine being in a program that was almost totally male or female... 

 

Gainesville rocks! I hope you'll visit!

 

 

Seconded.  Gainesville is one of my favorite places.

I'm visiting this weekend! I couldn't get the time off of work and I'm also trying to be sneaky about the whole leaving-to-go-to-grad-school thing, but some professors have offered to meet with me on Saturday anyway. I'm glad to hear good things about it.  

 

[biogirl2013]

There are reasons I haven't told my family any of the places I've applied. Even after I've made my decision, I'm not entirely certain I'll tell them the other places that admitted me, cause I really don't need their opinions...