I feel isolated :(

[Tall Chai Latte]

How does one deal with feeling of isolation in grad school? 

 

I have become increasingly busy and my workout schedule is totally messed up. I am surrounded by postdocs from other countries, with no other students in my group. There are two other students in the lab next door I can talk to, but they are not from my lab, and I doubt I can keep bothering them. Everyone has so much to do....

 

 

[Andean Pat]

I am not in grad school yet but what about meeting people outside the lab? I am thinking in team sports, volunteering, concerts, school parties/events, other hobbies? 

 

You can also check www.meetup.com 

[biotechie]

I know exactly how you feel in the life sciences, and like what you're probably up to right now, I'm putting in 60+ hours per week. We don't have time for very many, if any at all, outside activities because we're either in lab running experiments, organizing and computing data and statistics, taking classes, studying, or reading for our research or classes. There is not really much "down time." I'm lucky if I get at least one run in every week. I tend to work late in the evenings for my masters work right now, and my lab group is small, so it can get pretty lonely.

 

The grad students in the department started organizing a happy hour every Friday. There are usually 15 or so of us, and it is tons of fun. I try to go at least every other week. It gets me out of the lab for a couple of hours to relax and have fun. It usually is a giant nerd-fest with us talking about triumphs or failures in the lab, or figuring out what the weird professor is up to. I figured out that one of the other students in the department often does her studying late at night, as does one of my guy friends. We pester each other between incubations and during study breaks and all of us feel a lot less isolated. Maybe you can set up something similar? If your department is small, maybe a couple of departments can get together?

[Guest |||]

It is of course a lifestyle that often leaves you alone and by yourself.

 

Attend lab meetings, get to know those you work with.  Consider other labs with similar interests as well as ones with far outside interests.

 

Consider joining an on campus group, or if possible, try and schedule coffee with friends whenever you can.

[rising_star]

I just make time to do things outside of grad school. I have several friends that I hang out with that I made through various hobbies. They aren't in grad school, which means they can be good to talk to to get out of the "bubble". One group of friends is my pub quiz friends (we play "Geeks who drink" once a week), another group is through capoeira, so I see them pretty regularly because we train together. I also go to my department's happy hour pretty much every week, which gives me a chance to socialize. I'm at the dissertation writing phase, which is probably even more lonely than being in a lab, so I also make an effort to meet other people for coffee shop work sessions once a week or so.

[Tall Chai Latte]

Thanks everyone for your comments. Our lab is a small one, and everyone else is pretty much a postdoc from overseas, meaning that I can't get much insights on "what was it like when you were in grad school?" because their school systems are very different from US system, nor "how do you do this experiment?" because the lab is too interdisciplinary. I'm the only one who can do what I do, and probably know the most about it in the lab. Same with everyone else's projects. 

 

Sometimes I wonder if all these negative feelings are normal, and why does it have to be like this. 

[CarlieE]

I've been feeling the same... oddly enough, when I've talked to other grads it seems we've all been feeling similarly but no one's been saying so... 

 

I googled "how to cope with grad school" yesterday and came across this article: http://www.gradresources.org/articles/emotional_fatigue.shtml 

 

which I found helpful.. at least now I know it's not just me.. For me, I feel isolated even when I'm surrounded by people and even while I'm interacting with them sometimes...it's more than "just" isolation and I'm trying to figure out a way to reason with it so I don't get wrapped up in my head.. 

 

I know my post isn't helpful in that I'm not offering a solution, but perhaps it might help to know that the reason you might be feeling isolated is endemic and inherent in grad life in general.. : / a kind of paradoxical "collective isolation" *ironic lol* 

Edited March 17, 2013 by SPanda

[Tall Chai Latte]

I've been feeling the same... oddly enough, when I've talked to other grads it seems we've all been feeling similarly but no one's been saying so... 

 

I googled "how to cope with grad school" yesterday and came across this article: http://www.gradresources.org/articles/emotional_fatigue.shtml 

 

What a coincidence! I was reading this article yesterday as well. You are not alone!

[ak48]

Join an activity group! be it a casual sports (we play soccer every tuesday afternoon, etc) or some craft/hobby.