Tall Chai Latte

Your second rotation sounds just like one of my rotations. I also rotated with a PI who had really high expectations, who had really high expectations (e. g. experiments need to work no more than two tries, need to be super energetic) for rotation students. I wasn't meeting her standards of being 'interested' in her lab, and she gave me the lowest grade (and ratings in all five categories on the evaluations) for the rotations. The rotation was short and I worked seven days a week, and still got a horrible review and 'it's up to you whether you want to complete this rotation. I don't think my perspective will change". This had huge impact on my later rotation searches; I guess people didn't wanna deal with a potential problem child! Rotation periods are tough because you are politically not protected by anyone. If your second rotation eval doesn't affect your prospect on finding a permanent lab home, I'd say just let it go and move on. You might run into them some day, you might have to collaborate with them on your projects or borrow equipments/reagents etc. Just be courteous on this, smile and move on. Sometimes people just don't work well together, may it be personality or work ethics. Just like me and my ex-rotation advisor, she's a big extrovert and I'm an introvert. I guess she had a hard time reading me and interpreted things the wrong way.

Yep, SNPCracklePop summed it up nicely. I had quite a bit of trouble finding an advisor with funds for me. As a result, I had to compromise with an advisor (my current advisor) who wants to do something she has no expertise over, and yet where my skills could apply. It turned out that the projects were very challenging -- thus making my PhD harder than it needs to be. Although we have made progress, but my overall CV is less impressive than if easier projects were given to me or more support from within or outside of lab. It could be a difficult consequence to swallow.

The decisions you made early on have big impact on your career later. How lonely grad school can get, both emotionally and scientifically. Constantly being judged, and often taking blames for things you have no control over. Most professors have no interest in teaching and training students. No one will go to the bat for you unless there's benefit in doing so.

It wasn't easy for me. As someone who went to college in-state, being far away from home was the biggest challenge. I also lived in dorms (until my school kicked all upper classmen out) and went home once a week. It took me about a year to feel fully settled in to the new city, developing new hobbies... This is key! Also, learn how to cook I went with rooming with somebody during my first year. That way, you could learn things about the city quick. The only real furniture I bought was my desk from ikea, and bought the rest from the local ikea.

It's a personal choice. For me, the benefit of living alone outweighs rooming with someone. I also have two cats, with family visiting from time to time, thus having a place of my own is a much better option. It is more expensive, but my stipend is not that big anyway to make a difference in the amount of money I could save each month.

Before I got too busy/lazy, I used to go run in the gym when the going got tough and looking forward to my next road race. Sometimes I play video games on my iPad, read self-help books/leisure books, or just sit and do nothing like juilletmecredi. Other times I just keep on keeping on when there's no way to remove the external stress stimuli (like the stress won't go away unless I get the experiment working).

My own PhD experience so far says research + classes is easier than research only. What's difficult with year 3 and beyond is that your time becomes less structured and starts to blur together, but if you are still taking classes, there are some deadlines to keep track of. I was pretty lost for a while after passing candidacy- it was like "congratulations! you are now a PhD candidate! go for the degree!" without really a physical road map or guide. It is so easy to put on more workload than you could take and burn out.

I did contact a few people when I applied, but not to my current institution. I think it's good to ask if your POI has a space for grad student, but other than that, I doubt they have much to do with the admission process.

Love your doge taco! This is my fifth year in Ann Arbor. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask.

I've reviewed unpublished manuscripts for my PI before because she had too much on her plate. It's common around here, and nice training to see how to read critically of other people's work. As long as you follow ethics (keeping confidential information confidential, etc), it's actually fine.

I'm at the same stage as you in my program, also battling fading interest. I heard/read about various alternative careers over the years, and those opportunities sound much more attractive than the gloomy academia career. I thought about quitting many times throughout the years; I even attempted to leave my program but our program director convinced me to stick around. But true reason I'm still here is that there are plenty of resources at my institution for people who want to step away from the ivory tower: workshops, seminars, and career development groups. I would have no access to them once I cease being a student at this school. Maybe your institution is the same way? You could look into on-campus student groups or other opportunities to network or gain some volunteering experience related to the alternative career you interest in.

My mentor is the professor I worked for during undergrad. He was patient and never stingy about sharing his knowledge. This is the reason why I decided to pursue a PhD and potentially research as a lifelong career; the experience has been positive, and I took away a lot of valuable skills with me. Although I do largely different things now as a PhD student, I still use some of the old knowledge! I still stop by his office and say hi if I'm home for the holiday.

Your concern is legitimate. I agree with much of the consensus here that personality between you and your advisor should fit to a certain extend. While that is an important factor to consider, you also should look at how well the advisor's expertise fit your projects. I would try to find a good middle ground between personality and expertise. Some advisors are very ambitious and adventurous; they want to try all kinds of new ideas or break into a new field, but could not find the right person to work on those new projects. Pay attention to what kind of projects they are proposing to you, and whether that's something the PI's good at, or there's a more experienced person for help and advice. If you can get no help at all from your own lab, run away and look for another option. This is how my current lab is like. My advisor wants to do everything in her lab-- from structural biology to animal models- while her own training is in traditional molecular biology. I joined because the lab has been well funded (I was looking for a lab to stay in the midst of funding crisis a couple years back) and the proposed projects really appealed to me. It wasn't long before I realized that I could not get any help from my advisor and the lab, nor the help she promised to hook me up with. But I already over-committed to the lab, leaving would cause significant delay to my graduation. I switched projects 3-4 times and caused much unnecessary stress and frustration. I once read an article on the Chronicle of Higher Education on mentoring. The article concludes with the advice that "never choose an advisor who needs you more than you need him". The existing power imbalance could lead to exploitation, or something that feels like it.

Feeling lonely in grad school is a common thing across all disciplines. I moved from the east coast to midwest for grad school, and my first year at this very cold and snowy town was pretty miserable. I only made maybe one friend during my first year here! It definitely felt like I didn't belong, I guess people could tell I'm not a midwesterner. But after year two, things started to improve. I joined a lab and started interacting with a group of people on a daily basis. I also got to know their friends, and their friends of friends... Social circles expand over time. It was some time during my second year that I felt 'ok, I think I have a place here'. I understand how you feel, been there felt that... But it will pass.

Can anyone in the department help? I went through similar situation like you, with two labs didn't think I was a good fit, and the other two I didn't think I was a good fit for. So that was four mismatches in a roll. My problem stepped in to help me find a place to rotate, both me and my new lab home had to compromise in terms of research interest to make things work out in the end.

When I prepared for my prelim, my advisor only gave me 10 full days off. And those were the 10 days prior to the actual exam day! I had to find time between experiments to read papers and study one-two months prior. Many fellow students in my department didn't get too many days off either.

I also think it's highly field dependent. In my department, students usually lay dormant in the publication front until right before they defend, then all of a sudden they have 2-3 first author publications to be wrapped up. Along the way, some would occasionally have some middle author papers, but if there's none that's common too. Don't compare yourself to others! I know it sounds cliche and hard to avoid, but you gotta keep yourself happy! Im starting my fifth year in September, and I have zero first author pub as of now too. See, you are not the only one!

I know this feeling. My advisor is susceptible to this as well, whenever we have a scheduled meeting, she looks as if she doesn't have time for you, while come asking why you've been skipping meetings when I think I should probably wait for more data. You are not alone in this situation! I don't really have a good suggestion how to cross this disconnection.

Everyone in my lab has a designated meeting time every Monday, but whether you actually use that time is entirely up to you. Some days you need more help and some days you need less. Having weekly meetings is a good starting point.

Is there ever a chance to find a good advisor? I seriously think that's a question without a good answer to. Even after going through 5 different rotations myself. Students around me have their tough moments with their own advisors, but none serious enough to cause a complete drop out or switching labs. Sometimes, it's about compromising -- advisors are not perfect. They are people with their own biases and values. You have your own set of biases and values too, and that will impact how you feel on the receiving end. The relationship between an advisor and advisee will also change over time; maybe you two started out fitting very well, but as time progresses, interests evolve and readjust, so conflicting interest between you and your advisor is not uncommon. I think it comes down to how much you want an advisor to do for you. Do you want him/her to only advise you on the scientific front? Do you want him/her to help you with career development after you graduate? Or you are fairly independent, all you need is a steady financial support and nothing else? These are things you need to consider, and everyone's milage may vary. But for me, an advisor should at the very least satisfy the first criterion: being able to advise you on the science. Do not, ever, choose an advisor who cannot even do that, no matter how compelling/exciting the project they are trying to pitch at you is.

I use an app called Songza. It asks you stuff like "It's Monday morning. How are you feeling?" or "what are you doing now?", and you can tap on the mood/activities that best describe you at the moment, the app will then randomly play music based on that. You can pick your genre too.

Oh hey! I haven't revisted this thread for a while. Here's the cat pic for mandarin.orange: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4w7HnV4z6uLUnVQdTlWWFdBcWs/edit?usp=sharing

Eigen has good pointers. I want to add that things will be much harder in grad school, especially during your first year. Be prepared! Your wellbeing is the top priority. You can't work 24/7! That said, schedule in down times to unwind. Seek supports from your cohort and be friends with them, or find a hobby that you can do when you are not studying/doing research. This will make your transition a lot smoother and prevent burnouts. It is especially important to stay optimistic. Being pessimistic will really erode your motivation slowly, to a point of causing you to drop out. This is most prevalent when you are in the middle of your PhD. I have bouts of existential crisis and doubts of my own ability from time to time, the advice I got is "never fear, push forward!". Take baby steps when it seems too much.

I second liddy's comment above. I think it's good that these PIs are telling you they don't have funding to take on a student in the fall. That way, you don't fall into a trap where you've wasted precious "chances" to rotation just to find out you can't join after all. So yes, it's better to pass and look for other viable options.

wildviolet, that was what happened with the first cat candidate I was trying to adopt. On the second time around, the rescue group called the leasing office directly and made sure our apartment complex is allowed to have pets. It eventually worked out in one week. The new cat is great, though she is kind of clingy at the moment. She follows everywhere I go (immediately locates my bed and lies on it lol)... Hopefully she grows out of it after some time.