Tall Chai Latte

I'm in the life sciences. I feel immature too, as I find my can-do attitude varies from time to time. Some days I'd be really amped up and feeling like I can tackle anything, some days I feel annoyed/beaten down by the smallest thing ever. I'm not sure why my emotion goes up and down so easily, but I do hope this goes away with time as I gain more experience in dealing with various scientific obstacles. Anyways, we are getting there one day at a time

The simplest suggestion is: just focus on yourself. I guess there will be some impacts, but I'm not sure how big it is towards a professor's tenure case in general. I believe they are evaluated on teaching, service, and research (publications, research $$$ they bring in etc). How many students they have mentored is not the main focus (I don't know for sure, so take all this with a grain of salt). Your responsibility, on the other hand, is to take care of yourself and your career. Forget about the friendship for a moment. It's your PI's responsibility to worry about his tenure case, not you.

Thanks guys, for all the great advice. Next time, I will take the approach of mixed language usage to make our communication more effective.

I disagree with the perceived notion you mentioned as well. Rather, I think it's the opposite -- that an international postdoc will gravitate towards an advisor of the same ethnic background. For the students, they usually go with someone who's very different from their own.

Whoa, I didn't expect to get this many responses on this matter. Thanks everyone! To answer some of the questions above, my advisor usually initiates conversations in English. The others usually respond in their native tongue, and as the conversation goes, everyone would be talking in the non-English language. As for me, everything is English only because I don't feel terribly comfortable if my advisor speaks to me in *our* native language (not to mention I can only understand science in English). It's great that my advisor respect this and thinks it's important to maintain some English speaking environment in the lab. In the early days of the lab's existence, my advisor did impose the "English-only" rule, but as time went on the rule faded, now everyone just talks in whichever language they are most comfortable with. Our lab meetings are conducted in English, and everyone presents their work in English. But the overall communication ability is still not very high, as fuzzy mentioned, it's hard to stop people from using a shared language. I don't think we are filtering out potential applicants based on ethnicity/country of origin, it just happens that the post-doctoral applicants for our lab over the years are from the same country. The graduate program is very diverse though, I enjoy my cohort very much.

I've never been to CO or LA, so I can't comment on the specifics. You may want to post this question under another sub-forum. Regarding moving to a new place in general, you can first by googling where are the grocery stores, targets/wall-marts, things like that. Consider the weather and acquire appropriate clothing, and the rest can be looking into recreation activities. For renting apartments sight unseen, it can be risky. I was in your position, so I found a roommate who was already settled, and after I got acclimated into the new environment I went around and look for new places to live the following year. Hope this helps you.

I'm in no way thinking less of international students/postdocs. In fact, I think they are pretty awesome and hardworking. On the other hand, I've been living in the US for 10+ years since my middle school days and am probably very americanized. A little bit on the lab dynamics (I won't disclose the country of origin of others): my Boss Lady is an Asian with no communication problems, so working with her is great. The rest of the lab consists of foreign post docs coming from the same country Boss Lady was originally from, and there's me, the only graduate student. People in the lab tend to speak to each other in their native tongue, and I'm perfectly fine with it. When they talk to me, I usually respond in the same language (also my native language), except when we have to talk about science (I'd be switching to English). Here comes the hard part -- they didn't receive much science education in English. When we communicate with each other, I can't understand a single science term they say, and they are equally confused when I say things in English. As I mentioned before, I received a big chunk of my formal education in the US, and I feel more comfortable using English on a daily basis. While Boss Lady honors this preference, the rest of the lab just doesn't get it. How do I deal with this situation? With the arrival of another new post doc (also the same asian country), I feel I will be singled out very soon. I will become the only person who can't understand science in whatever language they prefer. One of the newer postdocs stopped talking to me after I told her I would prefer she speaks English, maybe I came off as a bit of a stuck-up??? Or I'm just looking too much into it? I don't know. Forum, how would you deal? P.S. My school is in the States, up in the North.

You still have plenty of time between now and April 15th, just give the other schools a little more time and weigh your options once everything comes in.

I had a LOR said yes when I asked for a letter, but used all of the excuses above, and ended up not sending her letter in. Haha.

I'm pretty sure I've changed compared to the old me fresh out of undergrad. But rather than thinking it was my program, I think it was grad school in general that changed me. I learned to think for myself, know what I want, and how to communicate that. Like OP, I'm also less happy. My old friends said that I'm more mellow now. Rather than being so absorbed in academics, I finally come out of it and start seeing that there are other things one can partake ("more like a normal person"). Not sure if this is good or bad, it could be a sign of declined interest in science in general, and increased interest in other activities (like photography).

Abandoning projects is normal over the course of one's research life, even if the projects themselves are well-planned and thought out to begin with -- you might still hit surprised road blocks and dismantle your work. Take all this as a learning experience, how to design a project, alternative approaches/hypothesis etc, as well as how to recuperate and start fresh again. These are very valuable in the long run. But right now, just relax some!

Ion exchanger: it seems we might also do very similar things. I also express and purify proteins out of E. coli, and doing projects more along the lines of biochemistry and biophysics. I just picked up crystallography...

Boots. That's key. You don't want to fall over. And how to keep yourself warm kind of varies between people. For me, if I keep my head, neck, and hands warm, I don't feel cold. Which translates into wearing a hat, scarf, and mittens. Another tip is dress like an onion: have a thick outer layer and wear your formal/semi-formal outfit underneath. That way, you can quickly shed and adjust to indoor ambient temperature when you come in from outside.

It varies. For where I go to school, the apartment hunting scene is fierce given that there are only so many places you can live. The campus does not have any dedicated parking for students, so all of us live within the coverage of public transportation. The wait for an availability could be up to a year, so many of us don't move once settled in somewhere, unless the rent gets too much to handle or there's unpleasant roommate experience. I suggest you talk to your fellow students, especially the upper classmen. Maybe you can also try rent.com? This is how I found my current place, and I got a 150 dollar (or 100, can't remember now) gift card after I moved in.

I'm sure all of us have this experience: a guest speaker is invited to give a talk at weekly seminar of your department. The speaker was probably invited by your advisor, or perhaps his/her area of research is very close to your own. You are asked to have lunch with him/her by your advisor/grad program coordinator, along with a couple other students. Here you are, at the lunch, not having much to contribute to the conversation other than introducing yourself and what you do when asked, and simultaneously feeling a little bit awkward inside. The conversation just goes lively around you. This is exactly what is happening to me. I don't know what contributes to this, but I guess my personality has a big part in this -- I'm an introvert. I just don't have much to say to people I've never met before. But I fear I might be missing out on potential networking opportunities if I can't manage to contribute something in this kind of lunch meetings. My advisor invited a big person in the field to come give a talk this week, and naturally I am asked to accompany the speaker at lunch with a grad student friend of mine. The guest speaker had the exact same background as me and is currently doing what I do! Sounds like a great opportunity right? But how do I get out of my introverted self? Any advice/tips/suggestions? I have her CV in my hands, anything I can do to prepare?

For MD/PhD, you can also look into Cell Bio/Molecular Biology disciplines. These areas may be very different from your major, so I don't know if those will interest you. The MD/PhD students from my program tend to have their research component based in human health-related fields. A girl in the lab next door, who's a third year MD/PhD student, does research on leukemia cells. Another girl in my year (an MD/PhDer as well) does research in immunology. To answer your question, I think having diverse research experience is good, though I would not necessarily think that one absolutely needs to have research experience in a certain area. You do need to have extensive research experience overall to show that you are serious about research, and you know what research entails. We all change our minds anyway after a couple lab rotations, so whatever experience you have now does not always equal to what your dissertation will be on. Strengthen your bio area will help. Just my 2 cents.

What you described reminded me of a rotation I had with a professor. The situation was very similar, and she blamed me for "not being committed" because the experiments I assigned to do did not work out within the first two weeks I was there (I was only given three weeks total to rotate). Luckily it was only a rotation and we really rubbed each other the wrong way. Having to deal with the bad evaluation she wrote later on was not pleasant.

Thanks guys for all the great advice. I've made an appointment with the career center to explore my career options, we'll see how it turns out. Thanks!

To echo what' Eigen brought up, it is true that undergrads sometimes want to move on to something "important" before they are ready. Speaking from my own experience as an undergrad researcher, after six months in lab I grew tired of doing grunt work for my grad student mentor. It wasn't until I got my own projects then I realized all the grunt work was there to build my bench skill foundation.

Did you come in intending to do an undergraduate thesis with this lab? If so, and your mentor isn't giving you an individual project, then something's not right here (or maybe you are just not ready yet). That said, if you just come in wanting to get your hands wet with research, it is possible that you aren't given anything substantial to work on other than helping someone else out. It's good to have a thesis to show to your prospective grad programs, maybe you can talk to your mentor about that?

I also heard conflicting opinions on this matter, and the issue with grades always confuses me. When you get all A's, you might be seen as not spending enough time on research, but when you get less than an A, it seems there's something wrong with you... So confusing. So I second going with what your advisor says. Embarrassed to say, I failed one requirement prior to my qual. My advisor basically said "you don't need to get an A, just passing the course is fine with me.... I only got one A during my PhD and all other classes B, haha", which made me feel a little better. Research is more important.

I know how you feel, being at different stages in life from the rest of the lab. I'm surrounded by 5 postdocs, all of them married and well in their 30s, and I'm still in my mid-20s. It was hard to socialize at first, but as time goes on we have more and more things to talk with each other, like... bitching about our bad days together, and we do organize lab BBQ and going out for lunch. Bonding will come with time, albeit being awkward at first. I agree with what Physwimic said about advisor-student relationship: it's difficult to manage it well. Both parties are trying to meet each other's expectations, at the same time guessing what the expectations are. Setting a clear list of them will help you in the long run. Speaking of trying to communicate with advisors, a funny question that was brought out during my new own student orientation was "So um... I was trying to get more face time with my rotation advisor. Sometimes he has his door wide open, sometimes he has it closed. But what does it mean if he leaves the door open just a little?"

Haha, it does sound like a fortune cookie quote, "think not about what new things you can be learning, but anything left to learn in what you already know".

I will add my hug too! *hug* At your stage, it is the best time to leave and switch. It's good that you realized this program is not for you, and really there is no shame in that. It takes more courage to admit something is wrong.

Thanks Fuzzy and Dal PhDer for your replies. I guess the whole "I'm not learning anything new" is just my emotion talking, because I'm a little tired about being in school for so long. My advisor does give me a lot of freedom to work in the assigned areas, and the projects are played to my strength. Although the science is taking off, I found myself not wanting to do research anymore, or at least not wanting a research career in the future for the lack of financial stability. This is when I realize PhD is no longer a necessity for me. With my extensive bench experience, I do see myself having a career in medical laboratory science, and being a practical person and science lover, this probably fits me better. If I continue on, I will inevitably have to do a post doc (a short one) before quitting academia. How do I start having this kind of conversation with my advisor, when everything is apparently going well?