Closing doors...opening windows.

[MDLee]

I am slowly beginning to realize that everything ends up falling into the place that its supposed to. Yes--maybe I put out ten apps and yes, maybe they all came back rejected (I've got two out, so I'm working on premonitions at this point) but maybe that's where I was supposed to be. You know?

How much of your identity has been wrapped up in your scholastic achievement? Why can't we conceive of a life outside of school?

I think that the world has some incredible horizons at this point...horizons that I'm very willing to explore. I'm almost content to do so at this point. Excited even.

Here's hoping everyone ends this process with inner peace.

[whateverneveram3n]

How much of your identity has been wrapped up in your scholastic achievement?

Uh, well, the last decade or so of my life where I self-labeled as a scientist-to-be. Although that was more of a "what I was meant to do" identity rather than a "scholastic achievement" identity...as evidenced by my transcripts, and really, the weak point of my applications. So I guess maybe I didn't place enough of my identity wrapped up in putting attractive numbers on a piece of paper.

I don't believe that "things work out the way they were supposed to". I'm going to take the cold sci-dork bent on this one and put forth the claim that the universe is random and purposeless. Some people just end up with the short end of the stick, period. Life isn't fair.

While I don't subscribe to the "there's a reason for everything" philosophy, I do believe that "there is something to be learned everywhere". So, are across-the-board rejections the end of the world? Of course not. There are interesting things to be done everywhere. But is it the end of life as I know it? Well, yeah, kinda.

[sunbabygirl]

I truly think that if you just got out of college, not getting into grad school is not the end of the world. You may not want to be in academia three years down the road, and, in all honesty, how can you make an informed decision about your future when you have not worked in the real world after college? Therefore, there are lots of opportunities for you to try out and explore. There is also hope that you didn't get in for a reason, that there is something out there for you - bigger, better, and more special...

However, if you have worked for 8 years after your BA, decided to go back with all your wonderful invaluable experience and still didn't get in - well, where is the hope there? Where is the purpose? You already know that what you have been doing is not satisfactory, and your attempt to change your life just didn't work out. What is there to go back to? The same repetitive routine that you wanted to get away from? :roll:

[MDLee]

I truly think that if you just got out of college, not getting into grad school is not the end of the world. You may not want to be in academia three years down the road, and, in all honesty, how can you make an informed decision about your future when you have not worked in the real world after college? Therefore, there are lots of opportunities for you to try out and explore. There is also hope that you didn't get in for a reason, that there is something out there for you - bigger, better, and more special...

However, if you have worked for 8 years after your BA, decided to go back with all your wonderful invaluable experience and still didn't get in - well, where is the hope there? Where is the purpose? You already know that what you have been doing is not satisfactory, and your attempt to change your life just didn't work out. What is there to go back to? The same repetitive routine that you wanted to get away from? :roll:

So you re-assess...re-evaluate. Maybe the thing you're supposed to be doing is closer to home?

[anthcat]

For me, getting rejected would remove the very difficult SO vs. school decision for at least another year. Because I would move away (and end the relationship if I must) to go to a great program. We are both young, and she has her own program to worry about for the next 3-4 years.

But if I don't get any acceptances, then as long as I can work the great job I currently have I would be perfectly content and very happy to stay here and rent a house with her. :oops:

Maybe that makes me a bad academic, that I'm not willing to commit seppuku upon complete rejection. But I can actually envision a perfectly acceptable alternative, especially for just a year. Maybe this is because I already took a year off, and this will just be a better year off.

[GirlattheHelm]

How much of your identity has been wrapped up in your scholastic achievement? Why can't we conceive of a life outside of school?

It's not the lack of conceiving a notion about the outside, working world. It's that I know where I rank in it. After so much work in a scholastic field I've gained some level of leadership and I'd like to tap into that vein a bit. Graduate school is such a great mutual working process - a school takes from us what it needs and gives us what we need. It's symbiotic relationship is so needed.

Now, I am simply terrified of spending a year working entirely for the gratification of another human being - while making only enough to afford gas. The stagnant nature of my personality in the working world and the exhaustion it drives me to doesn't help me at all. I want to work - and will work - but I don't want to throw myself into a burn out, run out, and punch out job that kills me. I like having an investment in my work; that's part of who I am... but working for my parents for a full year is not an enjoyable task.

[wilderbeast]

I am slowly beginning to realize that everything ends up falling into the place that its supposed to. Yes--maybe I put out ten apps and yes, maybe they all came back rejected (I've got two out, so I'm working on premonitions at this point) but maybe that's where I was supposed to be. You know?

How much of your identity has been wrapped up in your scholastic achievement? Why can't we conceive of a life outside of school?

I think that the world has some incredible horizons at this point...horizons that I'm very willing to explore. I'm almost content to do so at this point. Excited even.

Here's hoping everyone ends this process with inner peace.

Well, here's food for thought. When I was 12 years old I joined the US Air Force Auxiliary, the Civil Air Patrol. And for the entire duration of middle school and high school I planned and planned to be an Air Force officer. I had SO much experience by the time I was 18 - I *knew* that it was the perfect career for me. I didn't get into the Air Force Academy, but started doing Air Force ROTC in college. It was my path, my dream, and I had all my ducks in a row... UNTIL, pressured by budget cuts and forced to reduce the size of ROTC programs, the Air Force promptly informed me my second year of college that because I'd had childhood asthma (I only had it before age 10) that I was disqualified and had to leave. All this, despite the fact that I had vast Air Force experience, wore a uniform and marched perfectly, outperformed all the other women in my detachment in physical fitness (I have NO asthma at all now), and had aced the Air Force Officer's Qualifying Test. I would have made a very fine officer, I think.

Of course, I was devastated - in one afternoon everything I'd worked hard to achieve meant nothing, and my dreams were worthless. I had no idea what I could, or would even want to do with the rest of my life. Things were pretty glum for a while.

But then, I discovered physics. I changed my major to physics. And now, several years down the road, I could NEVER picture myself as an Air Force officer. I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to do that now. I am actually GLAD that they kicked me out, because I would have gotten there and been unhappy. And I love physics, and I love the prospects of a career doing something with physics -- and none of this I ever could have discovered if the Air Force hadn't given me the boot.

I guess what I am trying to say is that you never know what will come of the future. Having your dreams shattered is difficult and sad, but in the end, you will build new dreams and find new paths - and who knows, you might even like the new path better than the old one.

[MDLee]

I guess what I am trying to say is that you never know what will come of the future. Having your dreams shattered is difficult and sad, but in the end, you will build new dreams and find new paths - and who knows, you might even like the new path better than the old one.

HERE,HERE! That is exactly the point we should all take away from this experience, I think.

[GirlattheHelm]

Kudos, Gravity Girl, on a point well made!

In my case, failing at getting into school means I can go back to my first love: birds. I mean, my enablers/financers/parental unit has threatened my life but I will get an emu if I am kicked out of academia for a year. They hate when I do this but they'll put up with it when I hold a lovely cute striped creature with my eyes watering, lower lip quivering, and all that jazz. They've only ever said no to one critter I've dragged home... And that was a male of my own species... so I think I can get away with the birds still.

How can one say no to the cuteness? (I mean, outside of the fact they grow up to be like 150 pounds of sheer kicking force, topping out at 6 feet tall)

[mgmuscari]

I definitely feel like my results have fallen together exactly the way they were meant to - I realized too late during undergrad that I was really destined for academia, and it's taken me two years to retool and set myself up to jump back into it. Working in industry has certainly been a valuable experience for me, but I honestly can't picture myself maintaining this kind of day-to-day schedule and work for the next 40 years. Sure, I'd retire with a ton of money, but somehow having the next 9 months always blocked out on my Outlook calendar and knowing exactly what I will be working on (and knowing how mundane it is) for the next year just isn't appealing to me. I know that I'm positioned well to advance here, and my coworkers love me. This is probably one of the best places in industry that one could find a job. I feel privileged to be here, but in all honesty the corporate culture here and the kinds of projects that we work on just aren't my thing. In September, right before the economy self-destructed, I almost moved to a job at a small startup, thinking that the change would do me good. I quickly reconsidered the ramifications, however, and realized that it would greatly impede my progress toward grad school.

So, 67% pay-cut, here I come. The next 5-7 years of my life will be spent in near-poverty enduring extremely challenging academic endeavors, as opposed to seated in a cushy chair pulling down the big bucks. The opportunity cost may be high, but the real value for me is the reward of entering a challenging program and creating something new by the end of it.

It seems to me that motivated people are always striving to achieve something - no matter where you are or what you're doing, you will yearn for something that is different. Working toward that goal may be a struggle, whether it means getting rejected from grad school, getting side-tracked, or working in industry for a few years, but I think ultimately satisfaction comes from knowing that you've tried your best. If you are really dedicated, you will also often find yourself reaching the places you want to be (whether you previously knew you wanted to be there or not).

If I hadn't been forced to work in industry for two years, I don't think there's any chance that I would be as focused oh achieving my PhD as I am now. I think going to grad school straight out of undergrad would have amounted to going off half-cocked for me. By now I would probably be struggling just to maintain my GPA, and probably would not have any funding lined up for next year.

Be patient .

[MDLee]

Kudos, Gravity Girl, on a point well made!

In my case, failing at getting into school means I can go back to my first love: birds. I mean, my enablers/financers/parental unit has threatened my life but I will get an emu if I am kicked out of academia for a year. They hate when I do this but they'll put up with it when I hold a lovely cute striped creature with my eyes watering, lower lip quivering, and all that jazz. They've only ever said no to one critter I've dragged home... And that was a male of my own species... so I think I can get away with the birds still.

How can one say no to the cuteness? (I mean, outside of the fact they grow up to be like 150 pounds of sheer kicking force, topping out at 6 feet tall)

Just tell em its that or a Bull Mastiff. You'll win

[teaganc]

Kudos, Gravity Girl, on a point well made!

In my case, failing at getting into school means I can go back to my first love: birds. I mean, my enablers/financers/parental unit has threatened my life but I will get an emu if I am kicked out of academia for a year. They hate when I do this but they'll put up with it when I hold a lovely cute striped creature with my eyes watering, lower lip quivering, and all that jazz. They've only ever said no to one critter I've dragged home... And that was a male of my own species... so I think I can get away with the birds still.

How can one say no to the cuteness? (I mean, outside of the fact they grow up to be like 150 pounds of sheer kicking force, topping out at 6 feet tall)

They have bright blue eggs!