Tips for working in solitude

[whycantideletemyaccount]

Hey everyone,

 

This is my first post in the forum. I'll be starting a research-based Master's program this Fall, and I've heard from several people that for similar MA/PhD programs, the first year is the most arduous. I will be taking three courses each semester as well as a thesis to complete before the year is over.

 

I'm normally extremely social, to the point where i tend to get lonely and sometimes depressed just from being by myself. I can get easily distracted by something like Facebook, and I increasingly feel the need to use it just so I'm not so disconnected from my friends / family. Speaking of friends and family, I've lived in the same small town my whole life, where everyone I know is just a short drive away, and I will now be moving to a big city a few hours away... though I do have a few friends who now live there.

 

I guess what I'm trying to ask is how can I adopt this new grad student lifestyle - one in which I'll be working mostly in solitude? Before this, it was easy to head to a friend's with a laptop and do light work while hanging out... But I don't think that will be the case anymore.

 

Thank you in advance!

[juilletmercredi]

You can still do that.

 

I am also very social and find it easy to let my mind wander when alone.  During the course of my graduate program, I met some friends and we formed working circles.  We'd bring our work (laptops, writing, whatever) to a central location and just write/read/do whatever together.  No talking - although sometimes I had friends who liked periodic 20-30 minute check ins - just writing.

 

But the thing is in graduate school most of your work won't be "light work," so a lot of it will require focus and concentration and you may prefer that alone.  Still, you don't have to be in solitude.  You may be granted a desk that is in an open work area with other graduate students and research assistants, so you can work there among people.  Likely your university library will have study carrels and open tables, where you can sit and work - you won't be talking to other people, but you won't be alone, either.  I tend to work really well in a quiet library with headphones in, because I don't feel lonely but there's also nobody distracting me.

 

I've grown tremendously and have come to really value solitary time.  Solitude doesn't have to mean shut up in your apartment - you can go into a public park and read books or articles for several hours, or sit in a coffee shop and work amongst people.  I can't work in quiet, so coffee shops are great - the buzz around me becomes pleasant white noise and I can write for hours!

 

You can also meet people in grad school.  Join a few grad student groups; join a social or professional organization in the city you move to.  You can meet friends in different fields to hang out with during your downtime.

[danieleWrites]

I have ADHD and routine is necessary. I never do anything in the library other than coursework, for example. I don't read off-topic stuff, hang out, cruise the internet, or whatever. My brain automatically associates the library with work. It helps keeping me from distracting myself.

 

I'm an introvert, so your problem is my idea of heaven. You prefer to socialize, so I'm going to guess that you're more of an extrovert. Like jullietmercredi said, find a way to work with your cohort in order to both satisfy your need to be with people and to get your work done. Make some friends and work together. Study together. For some people, reviewing for an exam (for example) is better in a group than solitary. You can help each other. Study groups rock.

 

I'm a fan of scheduling, mostly because I married a social butterfly who won't leave me in peace if I don't have a set schedule of when I'm not to be disturbed. Scheduling your solitary time can help. Particularly if you also schedule friend-time. Socializing is important. Don't cut yourself off from your friends, no matter how much work needs to be done. A couple of hours with friends can give you enough energy to spend six hours working by yourself. I don't know much about your personality, but you can use friend time as a reward, or you can use it as a kickstarter.

 

Make sure that you keep your projects organized. The thinking is always the hardest part, but once that's done, you can plan work time. On Monday, you'll spend two hours making an outline for the essay in Class 1. Tuesday will have two hours to write lab reports for class 2. And so on. Frankly, organization can make or break your stress level. Keep your time, your space, your files/notes, your stuff organized. Organized doesn't mean super-neat. Organized means that you have a working system in which you are able to keep track of all of your school stuff so that when you do work on your school stuff, you don't have to spend the first 30 minutes figuring out where you are, where you left off, where you stuff is, when things are due, and so on.

[mudlark]

Like you, I'm a social person and have a very hard time working alone all the time. The shift from coursework to solo research was so hard for me that I considered dropping out. Now that I'm nearing completion, I'm glad I didn't!

 

Things that have helped me:

 

Using facebook to my advantage. I created a writing support group with friends on facebook where we check in with daily goals and cheer each other on. I'm going to be on it anyway--may as well make it work for me.

 

Making work dates with friends. Even though we end up chatting a lot, I find that having another person around makes me much more motivated and productive.

 

Volunteering. This may not be possible in your program, or at certain stages, but I spend a fair amount of time every week volunteering. It helps my mood more than anything else, and gets me out of my head.

 

Good luck! You'll figure it out.

[wildviolet]

Invite people over for dinner--you have to eat anyway, and eating (and drinking) in the company of others is always more fun, in my opinion.

[Guest |||]

In my case its the opposite, I need isolation, especially to get more complicated or technical work done.  Lets just get plastic surgery done to look like twins, and live a single life.

 

When its social you can shine, when its isolation I'll swap over.

[St Andrews Lynx]

Try to counterbalance the solitude versus socialisation. Maybe work alone in the library but arrange to meet up with friends for lunch or a coffee break? If you're spending 5 or 6 days working & studying then make sure to set aside 1 day per week for chilling with friends, doing sports. I find that having a social event to look forward to is almost as good as being at the event itself.