Scared?

[Guest shelly]

Is anyone scared they will flunk out? One of my professors said that the cohort one year below his cohort started with 9 students and ended with only 2! He went to the same school I'm going to go to. Scary!

I'm also nervous about my graduate assistantship. My undergraduate major is in another field so I'm scared that too much will be expected of me and I won't be prepared.

I've heard that most grad students start out feeling like they are not as bright as everyone else and that soon their classmates/profs will figure out they are a fraud. I don't really feel that way, but I'm nervous and I hope everyone else is too.

I'm so glad that I finally got into what I consider to be a good program, but that means it will be hard work.

:roll:

[PETRAL6]

I feel like a fraud Hope it goes away. I was one of two of the flown out lucky in my program to still be in undergrad. However, it seems like they are really impressed with me and I got the "best the university has to offer" scholarship-wise, so it's a lot of pressure to live out to their standards.

[Guest daphna]

It's a classic syndrome known as "the imposter syndrome". It is very common among academics, especially female academics:

The feeling that you are not really as good as it appears, that you have somehow managed to fool everyone so far into thinking you are good, and managed to get good grades and get into a good school by somehow "faking it", but that once you are actually expected to do real academic work, it'll turn out you're really not so good and you will be exposed as a fraud or imposter.

I get that a lot, but one does have to remind oneself that it is not very likely that we faked it to get where we got. If we got this far, and we got into a good grad school, we probably have the potential. Otherwise, they wouldn't waste their time and money on us.

This doesn't mean success is guaranteed. This doesn't mean we won't have to work very hard to get where we want and be as good as we want.

But it does mean that if we are willing to work that hard, we can probably make it, we can probably succeed in the program we chose.

But yeah, I'm also pretty scared. Not so much of flunking out (I'm not thinking that far ahead), but just of the increased pressure and the more demanding program.

But I'm keeping optimistic. Lots of people have done it before me. There is no reason why I should succeed.

[PETRAL6]

Thanks Daphna... I've heard that it is pretty common and I'm sure I'll be ok, but it's still a little at the back of my head. As a psych major, however, I must point out the Freudian slip.

There is no reason why I should succeed.

I think maybe we all have a little of it... Some people just hide or express it in different ways. Some of the most overconfident people have really helped me. Because a few people I've talked to have seemed to think they were the best researchers ever. When you ask what they do, you can see that really haven't done anything unique or interesting or well thought out. Then I feel, if this person is confident they'll succeed, why am I worried.

[Guest guest]

I think it's sad that people feel like they aren't good enough for their program even though they have worked so hard to be there in the first place. Maybe it's a part of being young and inexperienced. Personally, I feel the complete opposite. I know I have what it takes to do really well in grad school, and I feel like I'll probably be the top person in my cohort. If anything, the thing I hate about grad school is that it loves to make you doubt yourself. Not only do I feel perfectly capable at the school I am going to, I feel like I could hack it at top Ivies like Harvard or Yale as well if I had chosen to go.

[Bianca]

I'm also very confident about my success in grad school. I know I'm not the best researcher ever, but I'm sure I have what it takes to make an excellent scholar. and I've always been the best in my cohort, no matter what I did, so I already have this experience of success which gives me the security that I really am good. (I think all of the people here who managed to get into grad school share this experience of success and should therefore give themselves some credit for what they've accomplished so far and believe they'll do just fine in the future).

I feel like I belong to grad school so much, that I can't wait for august to come. the only thing I'm somewhat worried about is adapting to the american mentality and lifestyle. Europe is so different from the States...

[History_Nerd]

As a related side note, my father tells me that when he first became a lawyer he had the feeling that he was a fraud and would soon be discovered. He says it took him a couple of years to get comfortable. My point is that I think it happens to everyone.

[Guest shelly]

ok, you all are making me feel a little better.

i can convince myself that i'm worthy. i'm a first generation student, i worked 20 hours per week for the first 3 years of undergrad and now i work 20 hours per week. and still i've outperformed many of my classmates. i rock! so when everyone else in the program has the same level of work as i do, i should do just fine.

ok, i'm kidding a little. it's just that i know i'm smart and i know i deserve to be there, but i can't help to be nervous.

thanks everybody

[Guest kn0519]

I'm a little scared but probably will get a little more scared as the date draws closer. My fear is more about being in debt though...not flunking out. I also am a little anxious to see how I'll adjust being a full-time student. I've always attended college in the evenings part-time so this will be a whole different ball game though. I'm definitely excited about the new experiences and especially getting closer to doing what I've always wanted to do.

[Guest shelly]

I'm definitely excited about the new experiences and especially getting closer to doing what I've always wanted to do.

me too! i'm definitely more excited than scared and i know it will all be worth it! i can't wait to start in august...i wish my program started in may! :wink:

[Guest liquidmethan3]

i can't wait to start in august...i wish my program started in may! :wink:

Sometimes students can arrange to come early to do research with a specific professor. Maybe you could check with the department. No reason to delay if you're ready to go now!

My new advisor asked if I could come get started in June, which I would love to do, but unfortunately I have work obligations until August...

[Guest shelly]

Sometimes students can arrange to come early to do research with a specific professor. Maybe you could check with the department. No reason to delay if you're ready to go now!

My new advisor asked if I could come get started in June, which I would love to do, but unfortunately I have work obligations until August...

I will definitely give that a shot. I have a job right now, but I'll have to quit because I have to move when I graduate because I live on campus. I have no place to live down here so I have to go ahead and get an apartment in the grad school city. I'm going to have to have a job, probably a crappy one, for the summer...i would love to start early...if it was funded.

[Guest Debating]

My department offered me to start in the summer (funded of course, same as summers afterwards), but I'm going to pass on that and have a blast this summer--I deserve the break!!

A couple of friends of mine who finished undergrad last year started in the summer, and it will probably shorten their degree time somewhat, but they are the kind of people who just live to study and nothing else, I couldn't do that. I personally feel the need for some time off between all the hard work in undergrad and all the even harder work I'll be doing in grad school...

But hey, you'll be a step ahead of everyone if you start in the summer and you'll get to know the people in your department. At the same time, you won't have the benefit of being as lost as everyone else will be in August, which I'm sure will be a good bonding experience ).

[Guest Quantas]

Hmmm, a fraud, that's exactly how I feel! Like I have somehow conned my way into grad school. I have been out of school for 10 years and I made it to a top school. I feel so old, naked and exposed and tempted to reconsider my offer :cry:

[Guest daphna]

woops about that typo :-)

[ophiolite]

Goodness...I have lots of worries!

#1 - Finishing my MS thesis in time...

I currently am working towards my MS and my research isn't going as well as planned. There have been numerous set-backs and my advisor recently added another portion of my thesis to the docket. The research I'm trying to complete now is going to be tough to schedule...I'm dependant on the Physics department to get it done and the woman helping me out is very pregnant! Makes me worry not only about scheduling around their other commitments, but also that she may go into premature labor and leave me in the dust.

My advisor tells me its all very possible for me to get everything done in time...I've already started writing the background sections of my thesis and have set deadlines to complete other sections of my thesis...but I'm definately committed to start my PhD in August, so if I run into anymore major setbacks I don't see my self realistically getting done in time (or at least defending before my lease ends at the end of July).

This is probably my biggest worry as of now...

#2 - Do I really deserve to be at the school I chose?

I am one of three students in my current department that was applying for PhD programs this year. I am also the only one who got into my top choice and most of my other schools (I went 4/5). Also, I'm worried that the only reason I got in was because I've been very dedicated to helping out a retired professor in the department with getting active in research again after a stroke a few years back. He was (is) a very influential person and was a leader in my field in his day, but I'm worried that he has made a mistake taking me under his wings and encouraging me as much as he has...

#3 - Will I stay in my program?

I didn't worry at all about staying in my MS program here, however, my PhD program is at a much higher ranked school (#3 depending on who you consult) and has much stricter policies. My research group is required to take qualifying exams in your first year in the PhD program. The last student who took quals with my advisor failed and had to leave the program (and she received her MS from him!). This worries me more than a little bit. I am a hard worker, but I know I have deficiencies in my specialty since I didn't go to an undergraduate school with my specialty and my current program is fairly weak in it as well. I haven't had advanced classes in it and my undergraduate course in it focused on other aspects not related to what I want to do. I'm worried I will put in a lot of hard work my first year, fall behind and fail my quals and be kicked out of my program.

#4 - Will I survive the adjustment from the Southeast to the Midwest?

This is my first time living in the Southeast and I find the attitude very laid back. People don't stroll into school many days until 9:30 or 10am and leave when they please as well. This work style has made me adapt to being able to work efficiently at home and not feeling bad about staying home to complete the reading and writing portions of my research. Don't get me wrong, as an undergraduate in the Northeast I kept up with the pace and was at school early everyday and worked hard late into the night while working 20 hours a week. However, graduate school is different with different stresses and different goals for the degree.

At the school I will be attending in the fall, students get to school by 8am and work until 6pm or later. I can deal with the getting up early in the morning, I'm a morning person...but it seems like everyone is frazzled all the time and they don't know whats going on with the outside world. That's what scares me...that I won't have time to keep tabs on the outside world and basic new stories that I think every American should be aware of...

I feel moving to the Midwest will be a BIG adjustment from the laid-back get it done when you can lifestyle of the Southeast...

Phew...I feel better getting that all off my chest and can now get back to doing what I'm supposed to...reading and writing for my thesis!

[Guest kn0519]

i feel ya Shelly.

Quantas, i don't think you should feel that way at all. you obviously must have done something right to get into a top school. as far as being out of school for 10 years...no doubt it'll be an adjustment but i'm sure they'll be some older students in your school/classes as well. (i'm hoping so for my sake as well b/c i've pretty much been a non-traditional student up until this point.)

[Guest dark]

Oh God..it's not just me. I feel that my advisor in the effort of being very nice to me wrote outstanding recommendations due to which I got into places. I just feel that I don't deserve anything, that when I'll go there I won't perform well, I'll fail...I am scared. I know there are things I can comprehend faster than others around or my perception about a concept is better or that I seek deeper answers to more intense questions but still I feel I'm not good enough, that everyone around me has a wrong opinion of me. I love grad school, I love academics, couldn't they just remove this pressure of performance and let us just learn, I guess that's a stupid thing to ask for.

[duckrabbit]

Terrified but excited. I waver between being rational and self-confident and total Impostor Syndrome freak-outs.

None of us would have gotten in if we didn't deserve it. There's no way we managed to fool admissions committees who see tons and tons of applications every year. Plus, as long as freaking out just makes us work harder, it can be an advantage. Chin up, people, we're all going to be fine!

[PETRAL6]

Right on DuckRabbit. I feel exactly the same way except a stage somewhere in between. Something like "oh, well, even if I fail out, they're paying me not the other way around"

[Guest :Michigander]

My taste of the Imposter feelings: Feeling like doing well compared to others and rising to the top as part of my identity. To a certain degree there is the thought that eventhough i've done my share of studying and working, that in the end, part of my "success" is based on genetic/natural ability and a little finess. Certainly there is a level of confidence in that, maybe even arrogance. Yet, at the same time the belief that the competition did more poorly than I did was because my cohort didn't have people at the same level of competition. PhD level work makes me think of true geniuses, not just people who's IQ says so, but the few actual geniuses that exist. Competition at this level where being a second rate mind means one's research might be completely trivial and a waste of time. Reality being that we're all doing well enough and that it's not fair to compare oneself to nobel laureates. I'm consoled by the thought that I can only work so hard and perform so well. How well i'll do and my lasting impression on my field are self-defeating. The pain about being 'thinkers' is that perhaps we just think a little too much sometimes.

[Guest NotReadyToHangMyself:)]

Ophiolite, you need to get laid, bigtime.

Okay, maybe not the most appropriate of replies if you take it out of context. What I mean by that is RELAX:

#3

Even the toughest undergrad courses are nothing compared to the difficulty of grad courses. That means you will fare just fine. They wouldn't let you go in a certain field if they thought a certain kind of background was absolutely required to succeed. If you are THAT worried, pick up an undergrad textbook of the specialty you're going to focus on and do a chapter a day (or whenever you have time) during the summer, DO THE PROBLEMS (I'm not a believer in "bedtime reading" studying), and work hard.

#4

You seem to be obsessed with what other people think. Who cares what time you go to school and when you leave? Who cares if a culture is more laid back or not? What matters is that you do the work!I'm a lazy fuck who does the absolute minimum at all times yet still managed to slip through the cracks and get into grad school :? I would cram and ace the finals and end up with B+ / A- / A final grade while doing almost nothing the rest of the semester. That doesn't work in grad school. I'm the one who has to panic, not you. You said it yourself: you are hard worker that had a part time job and kept up in your studies and did well enough to get into grad school, why the fuck are you complaining? :shock: You are acting like you are still in high school caring about all that utter nonsense. You don't "got to maintain" or whatever the pervasive teenage colloquialism du jour is.

News stories... HA! I did a year of media research before transfering into my current field. The media is bullshit, don't listen to it. You will be a happier person for it. An honest distribution of news would simply be a recitation of statistics, and even then it would suffer from the selection and incompleteness biases.

#2

Self-esteem issues. Enough said.

#1

This is your one legitimate complaint amongst your deluge of worries. Stay organized and work hard because the thesis is the one thing that ruins more scholastic careers than anything else in graduate school, and that includes qualifiying exams!

[BreezyG]

Oh, I have waves of panic where I feel wholly inadequate and wonder what my recommenders must have written to get me in. (My advisor is an alum, and one of my other writers did some postdoc work there). I mean, I never would have let me in with the statement of purpose I wrote, they didn't want GRE scores, and everyone applying there has grades like mine. I felt like a fake in undergrad - got a lot of attention for very little effort. Maybe I shouldn't have mushed everything into three years to graduate early, and taken the fourth year to really get myself ready for grad school.

Oh, who am I kidding. With all of my requirements done, there's no way in hell I would have done serious work. *sigh*

[Debating]

Ophiolite, you need to get laid, bigtime.

Okay, maybe not the most appropriate of replies if you take it out of context.

How is that appopriate WITHOUT taking it out of context? :?

[Bianca]

well, probably it wasn't put appropriately by NotReadyToHangMyself regardless of the context, but I do believe that getting laid helps a lot in fighting stress and fear. so I'm definitely doing it as much as I can