Music Major applying for MS in Comp Sci. Any feedback?

[carlvine]

            My lifelong study of music has established a deep reverence for mathematics. This fascination has seeped into my music compositional output, where I have applied mathematical concepts such as set theory in order to create music that is both aesthetically and functionally beautiful. Setting a slow progression towards the latter, I feel that I am now most interested in the beauty of ideas. I believe that computer science embodies what I value, with the ability to turn abstract ideals into something simultaneously exquisite and useful.

            I have studied computer science as a non-degree seeking student at [state school] since 2012. Though a stark change from the lax music curriculum, I devoted myself to the mastery of computer science fundamentals, progressing from introductory coursework to graduate-level courses such as modern computer architecture. While my time at this university has been rewarding, I wish to attend a research-oriented institution with a wider breadth of opportunity. By the end of the 2013/2014 year, I will have completed two years of prerequisite coursework, and have the necessary comprehension to succeed in a rigorous academic environment.

            My primary goal is to attain research experience. I want to learn how to create and defend my own ideas. This past summer, I was given the opportunity to attend an NSF-funded research program at [Top 50]. Under Dr. [professor], I studied architectural daylighting simulation, a combination of computer graphics and augmented reality, where I implemented concurrency, error handling, and shadow mapping to the daylighting simulator. Additionally, I studied numerous papers on image space photon mapping in an attempt to optimize the given implementation, as well as built a 500-line raytracer which maps spherical primitives within the given geometrical data. The raytracer was created as an attempt to connect the various concepts learned over three months into something tangible.

            My experience at [Top 50] has informed my current research interests, primarily computer vision and augmented reality. While at [Top 50], I befriended a computer vision doctoral student developing a "patterned species instance recognition" algorithm which identifies individual animals against a labeled database. Through his tutorship, I learned the basic tenets of successful computer vision research, as well as the key insight that vision and graphics are obverse approaches to a similar problem domain. I am most interested in working with Dr. [Prof] and Dr. [Prof]. I view their extensive knowledge of both fields as an invaluable asset that would help point me towards greater specificity of what I want to accomplish. As of now, I am fascinated with medical imaging, and the implication that specific visual pattern recognition algorithms can create preclinical diagnoses to any number of illnesses. Furthermore, I am obsessed with the Oculus Rift VR Headset, creating experimental environments for the Developer Kit in my spare time. There are many possibilities combining this new technology and telepresence, such as a simulator which allows disabled persons to interact with the outside world.

            My ultimate goal is to attain a doctorate in computer science. Though I currently lack the research experience of a competitive candidate, the Master of Science curriculum would build the necessary skills to better reach that goal. For that reason, I am eager to take advantage of every opportunity that the Department of Computer Science has to offer. I believe that my diverse background, persistence, and unbound curiosity would ensure exhaustive utilization of what [school] has to offer. 

[carlvine]

Is this essay too vague? Should I have a clearer idea of what to study?

[ratlab]

This is great except for one sentence:

 

Setting a slow progression towards the latter, I feel that I am now most interested in the beauty of ideas.

 

 

Take this out, it's unnecessary and vague IMO.

Edited December 16, 2013 by ratlab

[carlvine]

Thank you so much for the reply. I'll be sure to do that. I regret seeking feedback after everyone went on Winter break lol

[Flandre Scarlet]

I think this is a great SoP.  From your SoP, it seems that you are prepared for a MS in CS.  I would add something about the school you are applying to and how your interests fit with that.

[socioholic]

            My lifelong study of music has established a deep reverence for mathematics. This fascination has seeped into my music compositional output, where I have applied mathematical concepts such as set theory in order to create music that is both aesthetically and functionally beautiful. Setting a slow progression towards the latter, I feel that I am now most interested in the beauty of ideas. I believe that computer science embodies what I value, with the ability to turn abstract ideals into something simultaneously exquisite and useful.

            I have studied computer science as a non-degree seeking student at [state school] since 2012. Though a stark change from the lax music curriculum, I devoted myself to the mastery of computer science fundamentals, progressing from introductory coursework to graduate-level courses such as modern computer architecture. While my time at this university has been rewarding, I wish to attend a research-oriented institution with a wider breadth of opportunity. By the end of the 2013/2014 year, I will have completed two years of prerequisite coursework, and have the necessary comprehension to succeed in a rigorous academic environment.

            My primary goal is to attain research experience. I want to learn how to create and defend my own ideas. This past summer, I was given the opportunity to attend an NSF-funded research program at [Top 50]. Under Dr. [professor], I studied architectural daylighting simulation, a combination of computer graphics and augmented reality, where I implemented concurrency, error handling, and shadow mapping to the daylighting simulator. Additionally, I studied numerous papers on image space photon mapping in an attempt to optimize the given implementation, as well as built a 500-line raytracer which maps spherical primitives within the given geometrical data. The raytracer was created as an attempt to connect the various concepts learned over three months into something tangible.

            My experience at [Top 50] has informed my current research interests, primarily computer vision and augmented reality. While at [Top 50], I befriended a computer vision doctoral student developing a "patterned species instance recognition" algorithm which identifies individual animals against a labeled database. Through his tutorship, I learned the basic tenets of successful computer vision research, as well as the key insight that vision and graphics are obverse approaches to a similar problem domain. I am most interested in working with Dr. [Prof] and Dr. [Prof]. I view their extensive knowledge of both fields as an invaluable asset that would help point me towards greater specificity of what I want to accomplish. As of now, I am fascinated with medical imaging, and the implication that specific visual pattern recognition algorithms can create preclinical diagnoses to any number of illnesses. Furthermore, I am obsessed with the Oculus Rift VR Headset, creating experimental environments for the Developer Kit in my spare time. There are many possibilities combining this new technology and telepresence, such as a simulator which allows disabled persons to interact with the outside world.

            My ultimate goal is to attain a doctorate in computer science. Though I currently lack the research experience of a competitive candidate, the Master of Science curriculum would build the necessary skills to better reach that goal. For that reason, I am eager to take advantage of every opportunity that the Department of Computer Science has to offer. I believe that my diverse background, persistence, and unbound curiosity would ensure exhaustive utilization of what [school] has to offer. 

 

IMHO (as a fellow applicant), this SOP is great. If I was to nit-pick, I'd question the usage of "I am fascinated with" and "I am obsessed with" towards the end; why even mention a "lack of research experience"- you're obviously well-versed on the subject matter. Why not just state that these are the topics you plan on studying while you're in the program and perhaps work that into the program fit?