Optional LOR writer hasn't submitted...

[Maleficent999]

So I saw a few related threads but this is a pretty unique situation and I need advice. A few of my applications allowed me to submit for more than the minimum 3 LORs. I had a professor my last quarter in college that really liked me and she agreed to write one of my LORs. I have 3 other recommenders that have known me for years so I submitted them as my main 3 LORs and they have all submitted already. I decided to make her my optional/additional recommender for those several applications that allowed me to. Well, my 12/1 deadlines rolled around and she hadn't submitted. She told me to email to remind her a few days before and I had. I emailed her asking if she would be able to upload them and I ended up getting a bit of a "calm down and stop emailing me" response but she submitted for those deadlines the night they were due. She mentioned that she knew my next deadlines were 12/15. Well its now 12/27 and she still hasn't submitted my LORs for those deadlines. I'm afraid to email her because I don't want to set her off and end up getting a bad LOR, especially since it's optional. Is it possible she's writing a different letter for EVERY school? I feel like most professors use the same form LOR and maybe change who they address it to, right?

 

My question is: Some schools allow me to withdraw/resend LORs that haven't been submitted. Since her's is optional, what do I do? Does it look bad if not all of my designated recommenders submitted their LORs? Should I resend it as a "hint" or withdraw it and risk her getting pissed if she realizes I withdrew the recommendation? OR do I just leave it since it wasn't a required LOR and hope the adcomm understands?

 

Thanks in advance! Advice appreciated.

[ratlab]

It's optional. I would call your schools and let them know that the optional letter will not be submitted. The last thing you want is an optional 4th letter from a potentially irritated and late professor. She has no right to get pissed, and it would be incredibly unreasonable to be angry with you.

Edited December 27, 2013 by ratlab

[MsDarjeeling]

I second ratlab.  When you call them they'll probably make a note in your file to not expect that letter.  That way if it does show up it will a pleasant surprise, but it was optional so it won't be a huge deal if not.  

 

Also I think your experience with her should make it clear that she isn't the best choice for future LOR's.  I get that professors are busy, but since you gave her adequate notice and any supplemental materials she needed then that doesn't excuse missing some of the deadlines or working at the last minute.  If you don't want to deal with this anxiety again ask someone else.  If she offers again just tell her you appreciate it and will let her know if you need any LOR's.

[Maleficent999]

Thank you for the advice. I think I will simply remove her as a recommender from the applications I still can and call like you suggested. I was hoping she would be a nice addition to my LORs because she has nominated papers I've written for publication in student journals at my alma mater and seemed to think I have a lot of potential. But you're right, not worth the stress and I won't ask again. My other LOR writers promised "glowing" recommendations so I'm not going to worry about it.

 

Thanks, again