new issue....essay. pls critique

[dicapino]

The effectiveness of a country's leaders is best measured by examining the well-being of that country's citizens.

 

Is the effectiveness of a country’s leaders best measured by the well being of its citizens? While some persons would argue that public well being consisting of security, availability of jobs and infrastructure must be met by government, others argue that not all government decision would directly affect public well being and thus should not be used as a yardstick for effectiveness. I believe that government effectiveness can be measured by examining the positive effects that their decisions have on public well being.

 

 

Leaders are elected into power so as to help citizens achieve their aspirations. A nation where there is a scarcity of jobs, inadequate education facility and poor infrastructure shows that public well being is not salutary and that government is not effective. An effective government should implement policies that would ameliorate these dire conditions of its citizens. For example, the effectiveness of Obama’s administration was viewed from its inception through the critical lens of unemployment ratings in the United States. His leadership has been able to assuage the unemployment situation that was created by the recession.

 

 

Furthermore, effectiveness of leadership can be assessed by the security situation in the nation. Government must able to assure the populace of adequate security of lives and property, as this also has an effect on their social well being. Government cannot claim to be effective when its country is in turmoil or when it fails protect its citizenry from external attacks like terrorism and internal conflicts. Such situations are a clear yardstick of how effective or strong willed a nation’s leaders are to making the citizens live comfortable lives. For example, countries like United States, Russia and the United Kingdom are able to assure its citizens of safety against external threats and as such their leaders are to an extent seen as effective.

 

 

Proponents against my views argue that not all government actions will affect public wellbeing. But they fail to recall that all actions, be it, signing a treaty or going to war with a foreign country has direct or indirect effect on the citizenry. For instance, the effect of the Ukrainian government not signing a treaty with the European Union received tirades from the citizens.

 

 

In conclusion, the well being of citizens is to an extent tantamount to the effectiveness of their leaders. Examples like public security and unemployment shows that government must solve these problems to be effective. Government has an obligation to make the lives of citizens conducive by creating an enabling environment for their goals and aspirations to be achieved.

[PeakPerformance]

You need to work on constructing stronger counterarguments that you can then refute to showcase strong critical thinking skills. The counterargument you present in this essay is rather weak and there are certainly stronger ones. For instance, many would argue that that the effectiveness of the current leaders of a country can't accurately be assessed by examining the well-being of the citizens because the citizens' well-being is often determined by factors outside the present leaders' control. In their view, it would be inappropriate to blame the leaders of a country where the citizens are plagued by famine owing to climate or natural disaster or by systemic problems that precede the current leaders' tenure. It would be unfair, for instance, to hold President Obama accountable for high unemployment rates or the growing disparity between the wealthy and the poor when both problems are the effects of policies introduced by his predecessors. (Begin refutation.....) While it is certainly true that the citizens' well-being is determined by forces that exceed the present leaders' control, it is nonetheless possible to evaluate the present leaders' effectiveness based on the degree to which their policies help alleviate the various problems that affect the citizens' well being....

 

I would use the above counterargument early in your essay and use it to segue into the point you make in your first paragraph. Don't just toss a counterargument in in a perfunctory manner before your conclusion. Sometimes it is best to use the counterargument to lay the groundwork for your own argument. Your counterargument and response/refutation should strengthen your essay/argument. Your's weakens your essay.

[katethekitcat]

You have several threads started with multiple essays. If you're trying to evaluate whether they're improving, try keeping all your essays in one thread so people can see the change over time.

[dicapino]

You have several threads started with multiple essays. If you're trying to evaluate whether they're improving, try keeping all your essays in one thread so people can see the change over time.

 

 thanks,i will start doing that with these thread.

[dicapino]

You need to work on constructing stronger counterarguments that you can then refute to showcase strong critical thinking skills. The counterargument you present in this essay is rather weak and there are certainly stronger ones. For instance, many would argue that that the effectiveness of the current leaders of a country can't accurately be assessed by examining the well-being of the citizens because the citizens' well-being is often determined by factors outside the present leaders' control. In their view, it would be inappropriate to blame the leaders of a country where the citizens are plagued by famine owing to climate or natural disaster or by systemic problems that precede the current leaders' tenure. It would be unfair, for instance, to hold President Obama accountable for high unemployment rates or the growing disparity between the wealthy and the poor when both problems are the effects of policies introduced by his predecessors. (Begin refutation.....) While it is certainly true that the citizens' well-being is determined by forces that exceed the present leaders' control, it is nonetheless possible to evaluate the present leaders' effectiveness based on the degree to which their policies help alleviate the various problems that affect the citizens' well being....

 

I would use the above counterargument early in your essay and use it to segue into the point you make in your first paragraph. Don't just toss a counterargument in in a perfunctory manner before your conclusion. Sometimes it is best to use the counterargument to lay the groundwork for your own argument. Your counterargument and response/refutation should strengthen your essay/argument. Your's weakens your essay.

 

i normally put my counter argument as the third paragraph, i get tired there and i guess that why i goofed but any way thanks. Also, i am using the cracking the GRE princeton review......do feel its okay for the for the AWA. i use their format.

[dicapino]

took the practice test in my princeton cracking the Gre today. i am really disappointed, solving questions under timed situation is different got average marks on both quant and verbal. wonder how the real thing will be like. well the good thing is that i have seen i need more practice question cos i didnt finish some sections and i missed some easy questions especially on my reading comp. Any advice i feel like giving up. 

[katethekitcat]

 Any advice i feel like giving up. 

 

Best advice: the GRE is a small, small portion of your application. Strong letters of recommendation, work experieince, GPA, etc, are going to mean so much more.

[dicapino]

Best advice: the GRE is a small, small portion of your application. Strong letters of recommendation, work experieince, GPA, etc, are going to mean so much more.

other essays.

TOPIC:It is primarily in cities that a nation’s cultural traditions are generated and preserved

 

Are cities the custodians of a nation's cultural traditions? While some people would argue that cultural norms are not fully expressed in modern cities due to the luxury of present day life, others asservate that major cities are cultural centres due to their high populations. I believe cultural traditions are not primarily generated and preserved in cities because of modernization of these major cities and actually they are preserved more by rural communities.

 

 

Firstly, culture, by definition, is the way of life of a people; that is, their art, foods, norms, beliefs and fashion. Cities are centres of high population density and consist of an eclectic mix of different cultures. The nation's true culture surely will not truly be practiced in such cities with such dissimilarities, with time these cultural traditions will begin fade out. For example, in a city like London were there are Africans, Asians and Arabs, will the actual British culture be preserved in such communities? Such migrant communities will make effort in preserving their own culture in a foreign land. In contrast, cultural norms are preserved and adhered to in rural communities of these nations. For instance, the Aborigines population of Australia have continually moved farther from large cities like Sydney and Melbourne in order to avoid influence on their cultural tradition; thus, making effort in preserving their culture.

 

 

Furthermore, the earth is colloquially called a ‘Global Village’. With the advent of technology and the internet; innovations like social media has made communication between people in different parts of the earth look commonplace. With this comes easy access to transfer of different trends or culture from a city to another. This has insidious effect on the home country's culture because individuals exposed to such technology gather such information and use as a substitute for their indigenous culture. This is very rampant in various major cities. For instance, in West Africa there is a gradual trend in major cities like Lagos and Accra  favouring  hip-hop music due to the effect of pop culture imported from the US, the local  ‘juju music’ is now put to the background, and are only patronised by local communities.

 

 

Opponents against my view argue that cities have high population densities and thus are where cultural norms are expressed. Although this may be the case in places like the US, for example Hollywood and Motown are the embodiment of their film and music culture, but in other parts of the world that are not as developed, cultural norms and traditions are endemic in bucolic communities.

 

 

In conclusion, cultural traditions are preserved and generated not in cities but in rural communities. The luxury of modern life has taken this away from cities.