Insult to injury.

[murial]

I feel this serious urge to vent. Both my recommenders were being super super tardy with their submission, and so after several desperate messages/emails hence I wrote a rather intense email to them. I wrote how i was getting really really anxious about my application and that their late-submission could cost me one full academic year. Lo and Behold! my proff writes back saying that she wants to just excuse herself from writing any further references for me and I'd better look elsewhere. Like i wasn't stressed out enough already , more emotional stress greets me. Problem is I can't even articulate a response to her email. I guess at this point I'm just shutting down and very very blank! Any suggestions?

[junotwest]

That's really sucky situation to be in, I'm sorry.  I think you can approach this one of two ways: (1) you write your prof back, apologize for the anxious email, suggest that you hope that email wasn't the reason for backing out, and then ask for her own reasoning, with the hope that she'll reverse her decision. (2) Thank her for originally agreeing to be your recommender, wish her the best, and find another recommender.  

 

Curious though, how late are we talking?  The general adcom culture demands that you get your materials in on time and your letters get there shortly thereafter as a professional courtesy of sorts to other faculty members. 

[murial]

That's really sucky situation to be in, I'm sorry.  I think you can approach this one of two ways: (1) you write your prof back, apologize for the anxious email, suggest that you hope that email wasn't the reason for backing out, and then ask for her own reasoning, with the hope that she'll reverse her decision. (2) Thank her for originally agreeing to be your recommender, wish her the best, and find another recommender.  

 

Curious though, how late are we talking?  The general adcom culture demands that you get your materials in on time and your letters get there shortly thereafter as a professional courtesy of sorts to other faculty members. 

I know. I'm trying to articulate a response that's a mixture of both. 

 

And, quite late. About 15-20 days. Hence the desperation! 

[TheVineyard]

I feel this serious urge to vent. Both my recommenders were being super super tardy with their submission, and so after several desperate messages/emails hence I wrote a rather intense email to them. I wrote how i was getting really really anxious about my application and that their late-submission could cost me one full academic year. Lo and Behold! my proff writes back saying that she wants to just excuse herself from writing any further references for me and I'd better look elsewhere. Like i wasn't stressed out enough already , more emotional stress greets me. Problem is I can't even articulate a response to her email. I guess at this point I'm just shutting down and very very blank! Any suggestions?

 

Something very similar to this happened to a student I know. First of all, they are very successful and were accepted to many schools. Second of all, you need to be ready to report this to the department if it doesn't work out. This is a huge fuck up by the faculty member, and if they clearly stated that they could write for you, you gave them the dates and they said it was fine, then they have committed a grave disservice to a student and will be reprimanded. I know that doesn't sound like much, but if you can't work it out with that person, you need to make sure this person doesn't do it to someone else.

[Cottagecheeseman]

Email the schools you applied too (preferably the philosophy department itself) and explain the situation. See what advice they have for you. I'm sure a lot of the programs will be understanding!

Edited February 3, 2014 by zizeksucks

[SelfHatingPhilosopher]

I'd almost say to go ahead and tell your department chair. They might be able to send an email to your programs admitting that the fault with the delayed letters lies with the professor and not the applicant, advise you on how to proceed, as well as motivate your current letter writers and possibly even take note of this serious infraction.

[philosophe]

I'd almost say to go ahead and tell your department chair. They might be able to send an email to your programs admitting that the fault with the delayed letters lies with the professor and not the applicant, advise you on how to proceed, as well as motivate your current letter writers and possibly even take note of this serious infraction.

 

I totally agree with this. It's unacceptable of them. If they weren't able / willing to write the letters, they shouldn't have committed to you. Absolutely tell your chair, if you're lucky they'll write you a letter. Good luck, this really sucks and I totally feel for you.

Edited February 3, 2014 by philosophe

[murial]

Thanks a lot for the responses. Y'all are very kind and this forum is kind of my only saving grace now. Thing is, this proff. happens to be someone who mentored me during my three month stint as a visiting student in the UK. She wrote and submitted my recommendation the same night, but as regards the future she said she must 'excuse' herself and that it was for reasons 'she doesn't want to go into'. I do happen to know another fantastic scholar at Cambridge who would most willingly write a recommendation for me, but he taught me Phil. of Science. My area of specialisation being Ethics & Ontology of the self I thought it was better to get a reco from someone who had mentored my latest work i.e. my M.Phil. thesis. But this one clearly took her own sweet time in submitting the recommendation and left me second guessing as to what exactly I did wrong plus I'm not even sure if she submitted a strong reco at all. FML!!

[murial]

I would want to delete this thread after the discussions are over? Risk attracting further viciousness if found out.

[Griswald]

If I were you, I would ask your philosophy of science professor for a letter. I don't think it will count against you that he is outside of your expressed area of interest. It's an awful situation to be in, and I doubt that bringing it up to the chair will help you much. 

[murial]

But both the recommendations have been submitted now and my application allows for only two recommendations.

[Canis]

"...after several desperate messages/emails hence I wrote a rather intense email to them. I wrote how i was getting really really anxious about my application and that their late-submission could cost me one full academic year."

After writing that kind of email to them, I wouldn't ask either of them to be references in the future. The one who backed out sound like she's doing it because of the email you sent. The other one probably wants to, but doesn't feel like dealing with the consequences of telling you.

I wish I understood why so many referees wait until the last minute or even submit letters very, very late. So many do, that this is what I've come to expect from referees.

[murial]

And she is not even telling me what is it that I did? I would be most prompt to apologise but she's just being so cryptic 'for reasons I don't want to go into'. Do they not realise that saying such a thing can seriously lower the self-esteem of a self-questioning adult about to embark on a career in academics? Apart from getting tensed about my results, my application materials..am I supposed to be stressing out over this as well? I am so so angry..

Edited February 3, 2014 by murial

[TheVineyard]

They probably wouldn't write you good letters anyway. Don't grovel at their feet. If a professor really wants you to succeed and supports you, they will make time to write and submit.

You have been totally fucked over, I don't think it had anything to do with your emails, I think they just didn't really care about you as a student and just led you on and left you out to dry. You can try to scramble together other letters very quickly, or wait until next year. But you do not want a letter from these people.

Edited February 3, 2014 by TheVineyard

[murial]

Yes. Fuck this! Onto plan B.

[Monadology]

You have every right to be furious. At the same time, it's possible something very significant and very personal has come up for the professor. They could at least specify as such ("it's nothing to do with you, it's related to family"), which, on top of everything else, is good cause to be angry. But if it's something very serious (the death of someone very close to them) they may not be thinking things through due to the distraction. Though perhaps I'm making too much room for charity.

 

In any case, I hope things work out for the best. I had a letter-writer who took longer than I was comfortable with and I had nightmares of this very scenario happening. I can't even imagine what it's like to actually be there. 

Edited February 3, 2014 by Monadology

[Table]

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. It sounds like a really shitty situation. 

If you'd like, I'd definitely be willing to read the email you sent and tell you if I thought you did anything wrong. (You could send the email in a private message) I'm sure many others here would be willing to do the same. 

[murial]

Slept over this and I'm feeling much more collected. Quick question though! NSSR's application instruction sheet says the following about important dates and deadlines :

••

Fall Term Full Fellowship Applicants: January 15; applications received or completed after January 15 will be considered for admission and partial tuition scholarships on a rolling basis

••

Fall Term Applicants: August 1

••

Fall Term International Applicants: July 1

••

Spring Term Applicants: November 15

 

This gives me hope that if they screen applications till as late as July, maybe they won't be all that quick to toss out my application with one missing recommendation?

Edited February 4, 2014 by murial

[murial]

Although both recommendations have been submitted now.