Loss of interest and motivation

[samsara]

So I've been in my program for about 6 months and while I first enjoyed it, somewhat along the way my interest in what I'm studying has really gone down.

 

I never expected this to happen. I spent several months trying to decide what to study and put a lot of research into my latest career move. I knew my program wasn't a perfect fit, but given my academic history and the amount of time I was willing to allocate towards furthering my education (because of my age and financial circumstances), my options were reduced and this option was the best one available. 

 

I feel like this program is a case of the end justifying the means. One day, my studies will pay off and I'll have employment opportunities that will be more interesting and meaningful than I've had before. But unfortunately there are a lot of courses I have to take that don't interest me and we spend very little time on the things that do interest me. I will most likely need to take workshops and so on after I graduate to get more of what I want to learn.

 

Anyhow, I really don't do well studying and working on projects that I have very little interest in. The place I live in is also quite cold with lots of snow, which is making me feel down and low on energy. It also doesn't help that I had to leave my partner behind in another city to go back to school and I am not too crazy about having a long distance relationship.

 

Anyhow, I feel like I just have to do it, unhappy or not, because the long term gains outweigh the cons. I only have a year and a half more to go. But my motivation level to do my assignments has been extremely low this term and I'm just putting in the bare minimum effort to do well enough in my courses. I'm not sure how to get out of this rut. I just started counseling but I think it's going to take some weeks before it starts to make more of an impact on my life. 

 

I'm hoping to hear some suggestions on what might help me feel more motivated to do my work. It's extremely difficult for me to motivate myself to do any assignments and readings lately. I'd also like to improve my attitude towards this program, but I just can't help feeling so down about it sometimes. It's not what I expected but I don't have the financial means to quit now and enroll in something else next year. Maybe some kind of mindfulness techniques or something else to help me think more positively and to focus more on the good rather than dwell on the things I'm unhappy about with my program.  

 

Any suggestions on how to be more positive-minded and to make the best of a less than ideal situation?

[memyselfandcoffee]

first off, *hugs* , it sounds like you are in a difficult position. I am glad you have taken the opportunity to get some counselling at this difficult transition. I really don't know if I can give any advice worth taking, but I will try to offer a few suggestions.

 

Firstly if you still think you would like the career, 18 months isn't a too long of a time (i.m.o). In addition if you still like the area, even if the courses are not what you expected, there must be some way to make it interesting for yourself-- ex curricular reading that is more in line with your interests ect. If not, then I would wonder (and i could be wrong) if you are suited the job. As i said maybe I am way off base here, you will know this yourself. 

 

So I can only imagine how disappointing it is to invest yourself in this endeavour and then to find out it is not what you wanted or thought it would be, that is tough for you. I hope , with counselling, and chatting to friends you are able to come to a decision regarding staying or leaving that you are comfortable with.

 

It wasn't clear to me, if you now feel the field of social work is not what you expected or that it is just the course is not really suited to your interests. if the former, then I suppose I would only stay if completing the course would give you other career options you are happy with (and an MA in any discipline can sometimes do this, but  as alternative could you look into finding funded programmes in different area? or working for short period to fund (at least partially) a different masters?.... these are options).  If the later, 18 months seems doable to me, but then again, I am not in your shoes.

 

I wish you luck !

 

Elise

 

P.S.  just add I put off replying to your post for a long time because it really wasn't clear to me what you should do in this situation, so I hope anything I have said just gives you some food for thought and maybe if disagree with something I have written that will help nudge down a path. 

 

Also just to add, dips in motivation and questioning the purpose of it all seem to fairly common, so just be aware of that. and make sure your unhappiness and decision to leave isn't unduly influenced by loneliness at being separated from SO (18 months will fly by)

Edited February 27, 2014 by elise123

[samsara]

Thanks for responding to my post, Elise. To answer your question, I like certain aspects of social work. I guess my interest in social work is more narrow in focus than the curriculum I am taking. No one in my program has a BSW so we are all required to take courses in different areas of social work like community work, policy, counselling, research methods, etc. I understand why we have to do this. But unfortunately for me, I am only interested in counselling and mental illness and the rest is only mildly interesting to me (enough to sit through a lecture, but that's about it).

 

If I had a psychology degree I most definitely would have applied to counselling psych programs. That would have really been up my alley. But I was only willing to go to school for 2 more years and this was the best option I was left with. If I stop now, save money and apply again, I'll be going to grad school in my 40s. As it is, I'll be 40 years old when I complete this program. It's time to get on with my career as it will delay other things in my life if I change programs, like having a family.

 

There are only 2 programs in my country that offer counselling programs that don't require a psychology degree and will accept the BA that I have. Unfortunately both are unfunded. I got into both of them last year. But the job market is more limiting with such degrees. I'd likely be self-employed for at least part of my career and I prefer more job stability than that. In social work there are lots of jobs, some of which I could see myself doing, but I'll probably be selective with the jobs I apply to one day as lots of things in social work aren't interesting to me, but some are.

 

I guess I'm just trying to find ways to feel more motivated. When deadlines start to get closer, I start to put in some hours so that I can get the work done. Fast approaching deadlines are the only thing that motivates me and I expect if nothing changes I'll be finishing my assignments an hour or two before they're due on account of procrastinating so much. The rest of the time I can't motivate myself to get much work done and I feel stressed and guilty for wasting so much time and leaving so much work to be completed in a short amount of time (often sacrificing my sleep and eating poorly during these times).

 

I've tried to give myself rewards for putting in study time, but this doesn't work so well for me. Sometimes I put in the work time and get distracted or daydream so the amount of work that gets done doesn't necessarily reflect the amount of time I've put into it.

 

Part of the problem may be this unusually long and cold winter we're having this year, missing friends and my old job back home, missing my partner and having a bit of a hard time getting used to being a full time student. I've been eating so much lately and put on lots of weight the past few months. I can't wait to get my old lifestyle back of healthy home cooking, daily walks or workouts at the gym, more time for self-care and more time to spend with loved ones. The answer might seem quite obvious - just do those things to feel better about my circumstances. But I've been feeling so unmotivated I don't even want to cook anymore or go to the gym. I miss my old life. Sometimes change is hard. I've got lots of acquaintances and some new friends here, but it's not the same as being surrounded by true blue friends you're close to and could talk to about just about anything.

 

Anyhow, I know this degree is important to complete for my future and I'm just wondering about some strategies I could use to help myself get out of this rut and make the next 14 months more pleasant or at least more tolerable so that I'll be motivated to work hard. This is a situation of the end justifying the means, but normally I don't live my life this way and perhaps a change in perspective will help keep me going. If anyone has some words of wisdom or insight they'd be willing to share I'd be glad to hear it.

Edited March 1, 2014 by samsara

[memyselfandcoffee]

Hi Samsura,

 

I am not expert, and rarely practise what i preach, But i.m.o, healthy eating and time for exercise/walks are even more important when you are under pressure and/or feeling a bit down as you are. Maybe you know this, but are  have lost even the enthusiasm/motivation to do even these things, in that case you may slipping into a depression. I think you should force yourself to get out for walk/jog outside even if you don't feel like it. The fresh/ nature and exercise will help with what you are experiencing.

 

In terms of your course, even if you were in Psyc, there may aspects you don't like. For example i know a lot of people studying psychology who hate statistics and research methods or find neurobiology really challenging, so far away hills are not always greener.

 

If you are interested in mental health/counselling it seems to me that learning about public policy and  social issue's affect this, should hold some interest for you. Maybe just try and think about how all this information will come in handy when your are practising. 

 

It does sound like counselling will help you and that's a great proactive step you have taken. and i don't blame you for being down if you have invested a lot into what you seem like is your last opportunity, only to now, question whether you made the right choice. I personally (and I am not an expert) think this is enough to get anyone down or lose motivation, so don't be too hard on yourself. Of course not having your usual support network around only compounds your situation.

 

But if you are still interested in counselling psyc.,  social work could serve as good as a good stepping stone for a transition later down the line. (and no you are not too old) . and also if you are really interested in helping people with mental issues, I would imagine you will find social work rewarding. Just try and focus oh how everything you have opportunity to learn now, will help you be a better social worker. even things you may not like, like statistics... if you cant evaluate research, you will never be in a position to judge new techniques and therapies with your clients, ect.

 

One think to think of, is how you would feel if you failed or got terrible grades.... if you don't want this happen you need to take some very proactive steps ( and I am not even sure what exactly they are, but counselling is a good first step). You don't need heaps of pressure, you need a balance between not giving yourself a hard time for finding things difficult right now, but also remembering to keep your eye on the prize. Right now you are questioning whether you want that prize, but how would you feel if was taken away from you?

 

One final thought i had is, that I considered social work, but was advised against it by many people, as apparently it is very stressful being responsible for really vulnerable people's lives and the agencies that are supposed to help in terms of funding ect often don't help. 

 

so you know it is better to have second thoughts now, than later. You can always leave, get a job (i know that's not super easy these days) and save for counselling programme. You need to decide if you think you will enjoy and achieve success in a role of social worker. Thats the bottom line i.m.o.

 

I hope you can think of at least one nurturing and relaxing thing you could do for yourself this weekend. You certainly deserve a bit comfort with all your going through.

 

again * hugs*

 

Elise

 

P.S I just thought that in UK, we have plenty of conversion psychology degrees (typically one or two years), - most would be unfunded though . these 'conversion' courses are for people whose major is not psychology. But bear in mind you have to  take statistics and research methods and neuropsyc. related courses. Also the vast majority are unfunded as far as I am aware.

 

We do have counselling masters, most again are unfunded, and the more well recognised ones would require some psychology experience/courses/ though related courses like social work and sociology ect would be considered relevant. Again most of these are, as far I aware unfunded. 

 

But people do save up and do them. It delays your entry into the workforce, but it is possible.

 

P.P.S Maybe your cold weather doesn't permit going oustside for long period right now, if so, I suppose you have muster up the enthusiasm to find a good replacement activity.

Edited March 1, 2014 by elise123