Please go through my sop and suggest any changes if required

[Totappa]

A fascination for Science and Technology and a keen interest in the ever-growing world of technology motivated me to pursue engineering. I chose to major in Instrumentation Engineering with an intense urge to delve into the challenging field. During my under-graduation program I learned the various fundamentals of Instrumentation and Electrical Engineering with practical course work. Technology development from manual to automatic working inspired me to take up Instrumentation Engineering in my bachelor degree in BVB College of Engineering & Technology.

 

During the course of my undergraduate study I was exposed to various courses with applications like Control Systems, Power Electronic, Electrical measurements, Signal Conditioning Circuits, Electronics, digital circuits, Digital Signal Processing and Micro Controllers. But I always had an interest in Programmable Logic Controllers and its programming. To acquire more knowledge in PLC programming, obtained CAE (Certified Automation Engineer) from Technocrat Automation Pvt Limited (IAO Accredited), Chennai. I received 2 months hands on practical experience in Industrial Automation Tools specializing in PLC, SCADA and VFD. 

 

There is no much difference in Electrical and Instrumentation engineering. When I was small, I had cousin who would do electrical work at home with his influence my interest in electrical engineering born. I used to replace bulbs in home whenever necessary through which the same interest grew gradually. I wondered about voltage and current its distribution system. Also in my engineering subjects like network analysis and signal conditioning circuits, concepts of voltage and current expanded in me. Furthermore, to enhance my knowledge I want to pursue Masters in Electrical Engineering.

 

To further my knowledge, I developed two projects. One such project, in my fifth semester, a”Soft technique toothbrush” for specially-able persons with no hands can brush independently and it was selected for project exhibition at my college. In my final year thinking of helping farmers, started a project “agricultural robot” which can sow seeds, spray water and medicine automatically. My role in project was mainly design circuits and power system which i enjoyed the most as it was my interested area. While working I got many doubts in circuits. Mainly on electrical charges and its flow. My Guide Mr.Shamsuddin sir helped me a lot to complete the project.

 

I want to do MS in USA because education, which is more practical rather than theoretical, best facilities and labs for research and faculty. So, I would like to pursue an MS in Automation and control engineering in your esteemed college which is one of the top colleges having a fine record of academic excellence and is backed up by expert faculty and research facilities.

 

Your esteemed college is that it provides the kind of exposure needed to broaden my thinking and. Your college is a confluence of people from every nationality, religion and race. Overall development of the personality can be done and it helps me to broaden my concept from the narrower confines of nationalism to internationalism. 

 

I am fully aware about yours curriculum and I aver that I have the necessary commitment, intelligence and stamina to look forward to do it all. I am convinced that my study at your department would be meaningful and rewarding experience. I look forward to have a long and profitable association with your esteemed college. 

 

 

[Crucial BBQ]

I write this with the upmost respect: do people in your culture speak with such descriptive language on a day-to-day basis?  Or are you trying to impress the adcoms?  

 

This version of your SOP is an improvement over the last one you posted.  However, you need to ditch the hyperbole.  For example; instead of keen interest simply write interest. Profitable association?  Esteemed college?  

 

Do not assume that all MS programs are more practical than theoretical and never say the U.S. has the best labs and faculty.  Chances are high that at least one member of the admissions committee was not born in the U.S. and those in academia respect colleagues around the globe. 

 

Specially-able persons?  

 

Here are some edits.  I apologize for the choppiness but ultimately you need to write this thing yourself  :  

 

"I have long been fascinated by the world of technology.  Its ever-changing nature and rapid growth are what motivated me to pursue engineering. I chose to major in Instrumentation Engineering as I find this sub-field of engineering most rewarding. This was further strengthened during my undergraduate career taking various courses in the fundamentals of instrumentation and electrical engineering (list a few courses as examples). Learning how technology developed from the manual to the automated has inspired me to study Instrumentation Engineering at BVB (spell out BVB) College of Engineering & Technology.

 

During the course of my undergraduate studies I was exposed to various topics that included Control Systems, Signal Conditioning Circuits, and Digital Signal Processing with my main interest being Programmable Logic Controllers. To gain a greater understanding of programmable logic controllers, I obtained my CAE (Certified Automation Engineer) from Technocrat Automation Pvt Limited (IAO Accredited), Chennai. During this certification I received two months of hands on experience in Industrial Automation Tools specializing in PLC, SCADA and VFD (fully spell these out). 

 

As a child, I wondered about voltage and current distribution systems. Now, I want to pursue a Master's in Electrical Engineering.

 

I have developed two projects. In one project, I designed a "soft-technique toothbrush”; a device that allows a double-amputee to brush his or her own teeth with ease.  This project culminated with a presentation at University Q. In my final year of undergrad I developed my second project: an agricultural robot with the ability to sow seeds and distribute water and pesticides automatically (I am fairly certain this already exists and is in use.  What makes yours different?). My role in project was to design the circuits and power system. While working on this project I realized the difficulty involved with circuit design.  My main concern was with the correct electrical charges and flow. With the guidance of my mentor Mr.Shamsuddin I was able to complete the project with the determination to see it through.

 

I am interested in the (Program X at University Y) because of the research being done by (Professor A and/or B ).  During my research into the program I familiarized myself with the work of Professor A and/or B by reading Journal Papers C, D, and E.  Through reading these papers I have developed a few of my own ideas (list them) regarding (potential research topics G and M). So, I would like to pursue a Master's of Science in automation and control engineering at University Y. As demonstrated, I have a solid background and experiences that would not only allow me to successfully complete Program X but that would also allow me to contribute to the program as well. 

 

Another advantage to Program X is the varied background of its students, which would afford me a new perspective towards the world around me.  

 

Through my research into Program X I find that I am a great fit for the program and look forward to becoming a student at University Y."

Edited April 17, 2014 by Crucial BBQ

[Totappa]

thanks

[Totappa]

How about this?

 

 

 

“Statement of Purpose”

 

"I have long been fascinated by the world of technology.  Its ever-changing nature and rapid growth are what motivated me to pursue engineering. I chose to major in Instrumentation Engineering as I find this sub-field of engineering most rewarding. This was further strengthened during my undergraduate career taking various courses in the fundamentals of instrumentation and electrical engineering like Network analysis, control systems. Learning how technology developed from the manual to the automated has inspired me to study Instrumentation Engineering at B.V.Bhoomaraddi College of Engineering and Technology, Hubli.

 During the course of my undergraduate studies I was exposed to various topics that included Control Systems, Signal Conditioning Circuits, and Digital Signal Processing with my main interest being Programmable Logic Controllers. To gain a greater understanding of programmable logic controllers, I obtained my CAE (Certified Automation Engineer) from Technocrat Automation Pvt Limited (IAO Accredited), Chennai. During this certification I received two months of hands on experience in Industrial Automation Tools specializing in Programmable Logic Controller, Supervisory Control and Data Acquisition and Variable-frequency drive

 

 As a child, I wondered about voltage and current distribution systems. I had a uncle who was doing electrical work at home. I used to help him in his work from which a interest in electrical systems grew in me. During undergraduate program, selected a course related to integration of Hardware and Software.  But now, I want to listen to my heart which says to do Masters in Electrical Engineering.

 

I have developed two projects. In one project, I designed a "soft-technique toothbrush”; a device that allows a double-amputee to brush his or her own teeth with ease.  This project culminated with a presentation at University Q. In my final year of undergrad I developed my second project: an agricultural robot with the ability to sow seeds and distribute water and pesticides automatically (I am fairly certain this already exists and is in use.  What makes yours different?). My role in project was to design the circuits and power system. While working on this project I realized the difficulty involved with circuit design.  My main concern was with the correct electrical charges and flow. With the guidance of my mentor Mr.Shamsuddin I was able to complete the project with the determination to see it through.

 

Your esteemed college is that it provides the kind of exposure needed to broaden my thinking and. Your college is a confluence of people from every nationality, religion and race. Overall development of the personality can be done and it helps me to broaden my concept from the narrower confines of nationalism to internationalism. I am fully aware about yours curriculum and I aver that I have the necessary commitment, intelligence and stamina to look forward to do it all. I am convinced that my study at your department would be meaningful and rewarding experience. I look forward to have a long and profitable association with your esteemed college.