Preggers in Grad School

[pregnantPhDstudent]

Hello! I am actually a regular poster, but until I am ready to tell my cohort and DGS, I will be using this nifty pseudonym to ask questions about being preggers in grad school. 

 

My partner and I just found out that I am indeed pregnant. It's early on (five weeks) and we have our first doctor's appointment in three weeks. This pregnancy is absolutely planned, and I'm thrilled. However, I'd love to get some input from folks who have been there, done that. When I google "pregnant in grad school," I find lots of people asking when is the best time to get pregnant in a PhD program. And that isn't really helpful to me at this point.

 

Okay, so here are my questions. If you were/are pregnant in grad school, when did you tell your advisors/professors? I am lucky enough to attend a very feminist program and most of my advisors are parents themselves. I'm not worried about their reaction, but I also want to keep this news to ourselves for a little bit. 

 

Also, how did you deal with morning sickness in grad school? Did you have to leave class every few minutes to go to the bathroom? I've only had one day of morning sickness; fortunately, it was a day I didn't have to go to campus until late in the afternoon, so I felt better by then. I have a supply of cinnamon gum and ginger chews to help me cope if needed.

 

Lastly, how much time did you take off? I'm lucky enough to attend a university that offers six paid weeks of parental leave to its graduate assistants; plus, the due date is December, so I'll have all of Winter Break to rest, recover, and bond as well. I'm just not sure when to start it. Did you teach/attend classes right up until you popped? Or did you take a week (or more) off before your due date? 

 

Thanks all! 

[RunnerGrad]

I don't have any direct experience with this, but based on my friends who have been pregnant, it really all depends on the individual and their pregnancy.

 

Some of my friends have had very easy pregnancies, with very little morning sickness.  Others had extreme morning sickness (to the point where one needed to be hospitalized due to severe dehydration, and then put on medication to control the emesis). 

 

Most of my friends have been able to work or attend classes until the last month or so.  A couple worked or attended class right up until the day they gave birth.  One who was unlucky was put on bed rest (so no work or school) at about six months.  One had to be induced prematurely due to eclampsia.

 

So it really depends on how your pregnancy progresses.  Hopefully you will have an uneventful pregnancy and a smooth birth.  But you never know what could happen.  You could end up on bed rest, you could end up having complications, or you could even end up needing an emergency c-section.

 

Congratulations and good luck!  I hope everything goes smoothly for you and your baby.

[pregnantPhDstudent]

Thanks, RunnerGrad, for your reply! You're absolutely right; everyone's pregnancy is different! When I do talk to my professors, I want to have a plan but also emphasize that I ultimately will have no control over what happens and when it happens. I'll be sure to note that while I will be clear and open about my plans, I hope they will respond with flexibility and understanding in case I run into any unforeseen complications. Thankfully, most are parents themselves, so I imagine they'll be supportive! 

[dstock]

Congratulations!!

 

I can't offer any advice but I would also be interested in any helpful responses!  I'm starting a ~6 year program at age 26 so I definitely have this in my mind.  

 

In addition to working a pregnancy around classes, I'm also interested in how people make it work when their schooling involves working in a lab?

[pregnantPhDstudent]

Thanks, dstock! I'll be sure to come back and write about my experiences over the next eight months, so they can be helpful for other hopeful/expecting parents. 

[nugget]

Congratulations!!

 

I can't offer any advice but I would also be interested in any helpful responses!  I'm starting a ~6 year program at age 26 so I definitely have this in my mind.  

 

In addition to working a pregnancy around classes, I'm also interested in how people make it work when their schooling involves working in a lab?

 

I've heard from people in thesis/research based psych programs that it's much easier to work around once all your coursework is completed. So in the case of the people I was talking to, that would be anytime after the first year of the PhD program. (Translation - 2 years for masters, 1st year of PhD program, afterwards easier if pregnant)

 

But sometimes you just have to roll with it. If a pregnancy comes earlier than expected then you will find a way to make it work for you and your supervisor.   

Edited April 19, 2014 by jenste

[ProfLorax]

Hi All! So, I never got much feedback from the group, and since not much exists in the forum about pregnancy in grad school, I thought I would write a quick update since my first post. 

 

I am a little more than eight weeks pregnant. I had my first ultrasound yesterday and heard the heartbeat-- it was beautiful! We had decided to wait until the ultrasound before telling people, although I told a few professors earlier to explain my fatigue. Speaking of fatigue, holy crap. The first trimester is a doozy. All I want to do is sleep, so I let myself sleep. When I have energy, I plow through as much work as I can. Since my energy is so low, I have cut down on most of my socializing, so when I do have energy, I use it to work. Having a supportive partner has been key in all this. 

 

I carry saltines, cinnamon gum, and Jolly Ranchers with me EVERYWHERE. I haven't had much morning sickness, thankfully, but when I do feel queasy, those snacks help me perk right up.

 

I have now told my advisors and my DGS (hence me posting with my actual account). Everyone has been wonderfully supportive. I'm thrilled my program has six weeks parental leave, so I am now trying to figure out which weeks to take off. My due date is December 15, right at Finals Week, so my ideal schedule is to just finish my coursework early and teach up until finals, then have the winter break and parental leave for prime bonding time. However, as it is known, babies don't really care about our work schedules. Fortunately, the office understand that and claims to be flexibility in case the Little Nugget arrives early. 

 

So, that's where I am right now! As of this moment, I plan on keeping on my current schedule; I am already a bit ahead, so if I have to push back my comps, I should still be on track.  

[MRJames]

Hello,

 

First off, congratulations!

 

While I havn't been pregnant in grad school, I was pregnant during my undergrad. I know it's quite a bit different, but I think you will be just fine. I had a two year old at home, and then I had my second daughter at mid-term of first semester (October 25th). I was in the third year of my HBA and taking 5 English classes at once to catch up after switching universities. I actually managed to get back to classes within a week of giving birth, and after I finished my semester I was happy to have winter break at home.

 

I'm sure there's a lot of flexibility with your program - as it sounds like you have with the option of parental leave; which is great. The really tricky part isn't being pregnant while in grad school, it's having a baby, or in my case children! It is quite busy but certainly doable with a good support system, every now and then I accidently read them Chaucer before bed instead of Dr. Seuss... oops  .

 

Good luck to you and congratulations again.

Edited May 8, 2014 by MRJames

[ProfLorax]

MRJames, you rock! Thank you for sharing your experiences. I'm glad to hear the success story of a fellow pregnant student! I have a quick follow up question: did you take any time off before the birth? I found out parental leave doesn't start until after I give birth, which makes some sense, but I am not thrilled about taking two grad seminars and teaching two courses while I am nine months pregnant. But if others have worked right up until giving birth, maybe it can be done! 

 

Thanks again! 

[Threeboysmom]

proflorax

 

No advice on pregnancy during graduate school but I will be attending graduate school in the fall 2014 and I'm a mother of three ranging in ages from 4 to 9.  I'm a bit nervous as this will be quite the adjustment for us a family.  I'm lurking the web for all the advice I can get.  Good luck to you. 

[psych21]

I am close to my delivery date and must say that pregnancy in grad school was much easier than I anticipated. My professors, clinical supervisors, and bosses at my assistantship were/are extremely supportive. My first trimester was not so good with lots of nausea but was doable--even though classes were intense that semester. I did comps in my second trimester and found that baby gave me a zen aura I normally don't have... I'm extremely type A, but for comps I studied a moderate amount and never got anxious. A total win! Also, the timeline (delivering in June) made me extremely conscious about the fact that I could not procrastinate on proposing my dissertation. I worked my tail off and proposed in late April, making me the first in my comps cohort to propose. (Have done absolutely nothing on it since.) Got two months of "working from home" for my assistantship which will be my maternity leave (which is awesome--I am technically not allowed to do that, I don't even get paid sick days based on my contract), and I will start that AFTER baby is born--I plan on working until I deliver unless something goes wrong. Sitting at my desk with a huge belly and some Braxton Hicks right now. I'll be back right in time to start the fall semester when I will resume coming to the office, practicum, and data collection for my dissertation. I was/am prepared for any problems (including potential leaves due to illness, etc), but luckily so far everything went smoothly!

[ProfLorax]

So happy to hear your story, psych21! I'm hoping to do comps next Spring, when the baby will be about five months old-- now that's wishful thinking! I'm hoping that breastfeeding will give me some quality reading time, but I hear that everyone's nursing experience is radically different. I also plan on teaching until I pop. The last day of class is December 12, and my due date is December 15. I'm cutting it close, so I keep reminding my department that the baby may have a completely different plan! Like you, I'm finding that pregnancy in grad school is completely doable. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and parenting a newborn! Please keep us updated. 

 

Threeboysmom, wow! Great to hear from you! I'm not a mom yet, but my advice is to quickly seek out other parents in your program or department: whether that be other grad students or faculty. I have since connected with the moms in my program, and they have been so helpful in letting me know who the family-friendly admins are and who the family-unfriendly admins are. It's so nice to feel a sense of camaraderie! We're also talking playdates and the like. Having a sense of support within the department has been a huge boost in this process. Good luck! 

[Threeboysmom]

 

Threeboysmom, wow! Great to hear from you! I'm not a mom yet, but my advice is to quickly seek out other parents in your program or department: whether that be other grad students or faculty. I have since connected with the moms in my program, and they have been so helpful in letting me know who the family-friendly admins are and who the family-unfriendly admins are. It's so nice to feel a sense of camaraderie! We're also talking playdates and the like. Having a sense of support within the department has been a huge boost in this process. Good luck!

Great advice I hadn't thought of that. Best of luck to you as we'll.