how to ask again for LOR after 3 years, a bit uncomfortable

[ghoory]

I had a question regarding how to ask for LOR of recommendation from professors I have already asked before.

I applied for phD programs  in 2011. I did not get into  any of the schools I applied. I was very upset at the time and didn't let my recommenders know about the outcome and have not been in touch with them. Since then, I moved to Europe and started doing research in a bit of different field. Now my supervisor is retiring and he suggested me to apply for a few programs in Europe and US. So I have one reference from him, but I will need more. I have no choice but to ask the same professors again. I don't know how to ask them again and I find the situation awkward because I have to contact them again after 3 years and it has been since 2009 since I got my Masters. Can anyone suggest how should I email them asking them again for new LOR after such long time. I feel very embarrassed and awkward asking for LORs, and especially in a situation that I didn't have proper contact with the professors, so any advise is appreciated.

 

Thanks

Sharon

[Fun_Cookie]

Just do it. Ask and know whether they say yes or no or never ask and keep wondering for the rest of your life. You are also a rude person for not contacting your recommenders.

Edited May 19, 2014 by Fun_Cookie

[Flandre Scarlet]

I don't think it's rude.  I'm not her and you're not her.  She has her reasons for not contacting them. 

[MJA87]

Ask them; you have absolutely nothing to lose. It's natural to fear rejection, but courage is acting in spite of that fear.

 

I'm actually in a (somewhat) similar situation in that I haven't had any contact with my undergrad professors in 4+ years, so I can in part empathize with you. I painstakingly typed and edited (and then re-edited) my email but couldn't bring myself to hit send. It was my girlfriend that gave me the advice that I'll pass on to you: Suck it up and just do it. Being told no will be infinitely better than regretting not asking for the rest of your life.

[someth1ng]

You have nothing to lose, there's no embarrassment if they don't reply - it's not like the whole world is going to see. I would recommend giving them a short reminder on who you are what when you worked with them.

[themmases]

Just send them a polite email catching them up on your activities since you were their student, and ask if they'd still feel comfortable writing a strong letter of recommendation for you for new programs. You don't need to over share unflattering information about yourself-- unsuccessful PhD application cycles aren't that uncommon and it's reasonable to take time off to do something else after having that happen.

 

It is of course good manners to keep in touch with people who help you out this way, but I think most people understand that if you have something very disappointing like that happen then you won't be anxious to share. Professors very quickly accumulate too many former students to keep in touch with them all, especially if those students aren't following an academic path and don't have much in common with them anymore. No one wants to keep up an email friendship with you just so it will be less awkward when you ask for a (very normal) favor in three years-- trust me.

 

If it helps you, try to think of a way your contact can help out your former professors. If you learned something from your previous application cycle or if your research helps you be successful this time around, that is really useful information for your references to pass on to their own advisees in the future. I used to feel embarrassed at contacting a former PI at fairly long intervals (2-4 years) for a job reference, and dealt with it by telling him how my job with him had helped me and whether I would recommend my current job for future graduates of his lab. I even sent my current job to him once we were trying to hire my replacement. I realized this is actually a great interval of time for people who wish each other well and want the highlights of each other's careers, but are not close friends.

[Thesis]

Go ahead, first of all you do not have a choice, you have to ask them otherwise you won't know if they are willing to give you new LOR or not. You can write a nice letter asking them for this, say something like they are the persons that know you, or something like you really liked the letters they wrote for you in the past, show them their letters are valuable for you, if they are retired they will  appreciate you still remember them ! Good luck