Deferring Enrollment ???

[vern23]

Ok So heres the deal I got accepted to a grad program thats half way across the country (and actually in a nother country: Canada). My husband is very supportive and willing to move with me but can'tuntil he finishes school. We thought he'd be done by decemberish so a few months away wouldn't be that bad, but now it turns out that it'll be may or possibly the end of next summer- so up to a whole year away from each other. And the whole time he would keep the pets who are like my children and I would be alone 2000 miles away.

My graduate program says that I can push my start daet back to January. So we'd still have to be apart but for a shorter length of time. So I'm wondering opinions on this. Does anyone know how bad it is professionally to start late, does it make a difference in the long run, does it affect my program much? Does anyone know? Should I just suck it up and choose career or a happy life outside of work/school?

[Dreams]

Ok So heres the deal I got accepted to a grad program thats half way across the country (and actually in a nother country: Canada). My husband is very supportive and willing to move with me but can'tuntil he finishes school. We thought he'd be done by decemberish so a few months away wouldn't be that bad, but now it turns out that it'll be may or possibly the end of next summer- so up to a whole year away from each other. And the whole time he would keep the pets who are like my children and I would be alone 2000 miles away.

My graduate program says that I can push my start daet back to January. So we'd still have to be apart but for a shorter length of time. So I'm wondering opinions on this. Does anyone know how bad it is professionally to start late, does it make a difference in the long run, does it affect my program much? Does anyone know? Should I just suck it up and choose career or a happy life outside of work/school?

Good question. There would be no repercussions from pushing your start date back by a few months. The only thing that may happen would be that you would not finish with your cohort if you are in a master's program. If you are in a PhD program, well there is not really a big deal since an entering cohort will typically not finish together. So go ahead and push it back. It will give you extra time to prepare for the move; and less time away from hubby will also hopefully mean less anxiety in your first year.

[jasper.milvain]

I vote go. By starting four months later than the rest of your cohort, you'll miss out on all sorts of group bonding moments, and will have a harder time integrating socially. If you're not the type to befriend classmates, this might not matter too much. But you'll also likely miss out on all sorts of orientation exercises, at the department and university level. Long distance is really hard. But you'd be going into it with all sorts of advantages: a strong relationship already in place, an exciting new program to distract you from the pain, and a clear end date to the distance. I did eight months of long distance with my husband before we were married and while I NEVER want to do that EVER again, there were some great things that came out of it. We had incredible visits. We clarified how committed we were. And I was more productive at school than I had ever been before. It might actually help you get off to a solid start in your program--you'll have lots of time for reading, and total freedom to accept invitations to drink with your classmates without worrying about your partner.

[yumitsjudy]

I deferred my enrollment by a year, and that would be my suggestion to you if that's an option. As long as you do something semi-productive in the year off, it won't look bad professionally. However, if pushing back enrollment an entire year is not an option, start this fall; the poster above did make some excellent points.

[vern23]

unfortunately deferring a whole year isn't possible, just the one semester. Both other posters made some good points. Its so hard to know whats right I wish someone could make this decision for me. On the one hand I'd hate to be there longer than neccessary, I don't like the idea of missing orienatationa and training, espicially since being a foriegn school they do things a bit differently than I'm used to. But on the other hand, in addition to spending more time with my hubby I'd be able to save up more money for the move. We just paid off a wedding and I've only been able to work part time since graduating because no one wnats to give me a full time job when I'm leaving in August. So affording first months rent plus damage deposits plus moving expenses then paying for septembers rent while not having worked in august and my stipend not kicking in it I'd have no money for all of it. Ugh...