HORRIBLE LOR situation...Advice?

[FingersCrossed12]

Sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong place, but I am new to the forums. I basically need advice on a situation that I have been having with one of my recommenders. I have two fantastic recommenders that turned in my letters in October (all three have had the information since then), but unfortunately one of my LOR writers stopped responding to all of my emails. She turned in one letter prior to the first deadline and then for two weeks make an appointment with me to go to her office and pick up a hard copy... unfortunately she was never there when she scheduled our meetings.  I got called for early interviews, but no school is willing to interview until the file is complete. Long story short, one of my other recommenders contacted her yesterday and she got everything turned in. 

 

Now the bad part: I was in the car and my sisters were trying to read the letter through the envelope, and they saw that the recommender wrote the COMPLETELY wrong name in bold (which is why it could be seen through the envelope). She uses my nickname generally, but after four years of being her student, she invented a long version of my name that isn't anywhere close to my original. I emailed the recommender that spoke to her and he said to not worry and that the univerisities won't see it as "my fault" and to not contact her. Unfortunately, I could not keep quiet about it and emailed her, verrrry respectfully and asked her if there is anything that could be done...she responded with "I am happy to withdraw your letters if that's what you prefer." Has anyone else been in a situation where a good recommendation letter has gone bad? Do you think that her mistake will impact my application? And now that she is blatantly frustrated with me, any advice on what to do?

[Texan_Air]

I have a recommender that finished 9 out of 11 applications but hasn't finished the rest (been over two months). One of the two applications got deferred for "recommendation letters not received" and now I have to pay to get the application re-activated. Even though I want to yell at my recommendation writer (former manager), I know how busy it gets near the end of the year times. 

My advice is to not push the recommender for now as she is obvious feels disrespected at the moment. If you haven't sent your recommendation writers Christmas Thank You cards then I would send them now, and make sure the writing is sincere. You can try again later after time has passed but personally I would let it go. But in the future....I would always get four recommendation writers, so you have an extra in case something happens.

Edited December 20, 2014 by Texan_Air

[FingersCrossed12]

thanks for the advice. I gave my recommenders a little coffee mug and some brownies last week, along with a very heartfelt thank you note. She has been in the middle of hiring a new professor and she is the department chair, so I think pointing out her mistake may have been the straw that broke the camel's back. I just hope that she still supports my application if my grad programs call her. 

[beccamayworth]

thanks for the advice. I gave my recommenders a little coffee mug and some brownies last week, along with a very heartfelt thank you note. She has been in the middle of hiring a new professor and she is the department chair, so I think pointing out her mistake may have been the straw that broke the camel's back. I just hope that she still supports my application if my grad programs call her. 

 

Could she be upset about the way you found out about her mistake? I can't imagine a professor would be happy with a student trying to read the rec letter through the envelope (even if it were your sisters)...

 

But in any case, I think it should be okay! I think it's good advice not to push her anymore, you wouldn't want to upset her further. Good luck!

[rising_star]

Could she be upset about the way you found out about her mistake? I can't imagine a professor would be happy with a student trying to read the rec letter through the envelope (even if it were your sisters)...

 

This is exactly what I was thinking. I can imagine a professor being upset if you waived your right to view the recommendation and then you (or your siblings) were peeking through the envelope to try to read the letter/the contents of the envelope. People make mistakes in letters. That doesn't reflect at all on the applicant since it is assumed that you (the applicant) did not write or see the letter before it was submitted. Relax! And apologize.