Is my scenario completely hopeless? Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

[youngcharlie101]

I'm not exactly sure where to start. I received my MA last year from NYU's Department of Interdisciplinary Studies. I'm an African student who was born and raised in England, but I came to the U.S. before college. My field was anthropology; in fact, the Draper program at NYU allowed me to take multiple courses. My thesis was more anthropologically-based (about the apartheid in South Africa). But my goal is to get a PhD in African Lit.

I got some stronger letters of recommendation and studied for the GRE like a fiend. I even got laid off from my temp job, which I took as a blessing, because I worked on my apps.

I just received my 3rd rejection letter this morning. I have 4 schools left to hear from: Penn, CUNY, Rutgers, and NYU.

While I was waiting for the responses, I applied for New York teaching certification via alternate route. I passed the praxis and am currently looking for some teaching jobs. In the meantime, I'm still working as a temp so I can pay my bills.

I feel so incredibly hopeless when it comes to the PhD application process. I don't know what more I can do. I worked myself into the ground for this application season, but it still wasn't good enough. I suffered with depression and anxiety over the GRE and ended up in the hospital twice because of it. I'm also now going through the worst possible breakup, and I feel like such a failure.

Am I a complete failure, or do I have a shot at next application's cycle? Should I go to grad school again for a Master's in comp lit? Do I need more research experience? I'm totally nonplussed. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

[iphi]

Have you heard the phrase, "it's not over til it's over"? You have more schools to hear back from than have already notified you. It's not over yet, don't give up. I know it's easy to get anxious, but at this point there is nothing more you can do. So relax, focus on finding a job if that will give you back a sense of control, and try to discover yourself. I know that sounds cliche, but it sounds like you are having an identity crisis! Call up some friends or make new ones, date yourself! Have fun! And don't worry about what your next step will be until at least April (or later)!

[youngcharlie101]

Have you heard the phrase, "it's not over til it's over"? You have more schools to hear back from than have already notified you. It's not over yet, don't give up. I know it's easy to get anxious, but at this point there is nothing more you can do. So relax, focus on finding a job if that will give you back a sense of control, and try to discover yourself. I know that sounds cliche, but it sounds like you are having an identity crisis! Call up some friends or make new ones, date yourself! Have fun! And don't worry about what your next step will be until at least April (or later)!

 

Thanks very much. Gotta date myself. I find myself even hitting on the bartenders. What's going on here?

[ComeBackZinc]

I can't ameliorate your depression. But I want you to think about this. 

 

Many of the top programs in these fields select perhaps 5 or 6 students for their programs. They might get 300 applications or more on the high end. Right off the bat, we're looking at admissions percentages in the small single digits. Now let's think about this from the perspectives of these programs. The nature of the beast is that these departments will always be serving their own needs first. That's how it goes. So if Prof So-and-So has been lacking in advisees, and they need someone who studies the same things as he or she does, and your  specialty is already overrepresented in the department, guess who's going to get a leg up over you? Or if your department is heavily skewed towards women scholars and you're a man? Departments require subject-matter diversity because of the nature of graduate programs, and the want demographic diversity because of the noble principles of multiculturalism. Then, there is the fact of patronage and connections, which people hate to talk about here but absolutely do make a difference. Maybe just one person in your application pool will get a spot because they have the connections you lack. But if there's only 5 people accepted in a round, what does that do to your odds?

 

And so you have to arrive at this inevitable conclusion: if you're not a great candidate, you'll never get in. But you can be a great candidate and easily get left out. People know enough to say that this process isn't fair, but I suspect after they get in to programs, they secretly believe that it is. Well, "fair" is not a concept I'm really interested in. What I am interested in is acknowledging that  chance and randomness and weight of numbers plays a huge role in this process, and you've got to give yourself a break for that reason.

[iwontbelyeveit]

I can't ameliorate your depression. But I want you to think about this. 

 

Many of the top programs in these fields select perhaps 5 or 6 students for their programs. They might get 300 applications or more on the high end. Right off the bat, we're looking at admissions percentages in the small single digits. Now let's think about this from the perspectives of these programs. The nature of the beast is that these departments will always be serving their own needs first. That's how it goes. So if Prof So-and-So has been lacking in advisees, and they need someone who studies the same things as he or she does, and your  specialty is already overrepresented in the department, guess who's going to get a leg up over you? Or if your department is heavily skewed towards women scholars and you're a man? Departments require subject-matter diversity because of the nature of graduate programs, and the want demographic diversity because of the noble principles of multiculturalism. Then, there is the fact of patronage and connections, which people hate to talk about here but absolutely do make a difference. Maybe just one person in your application pool will get a spot because they have the connections you lack. But if there's only 5 people accepted in a round, what does that do to your odds?

 

And so you have to arrive at this inevitable conclusion: if you're not a great candidate, you'll never get in. But you can be a great candidate and easily get left out. People know enough to say that this process isn't fair, but I suspect after they get in to programs, they secretly believe that it is. Well, "fair" is not a concept I'm really interested in. What I am interested in is acknowledging that  chance and randomness and weight of numbers plays a huge role in this process, and you've got to give yourself a break for that reason.

 

Thank you, ComeBackZinc. This is something all applicants need to hear and think about. 

[NotSpyderman]

Let me tell you a bit about myself. I have a Bachelors in Engineering in Computer Engg. An international student from the middle of nowhere, I had only attended a few non-degree courses at a top-ish US univs in English, with decent-ish grades. I worked for a whole year, without ANY degree in English (or a related subject), having not given GRE Subject, trying to build a case about my suitability for digital humanities studies. I was applying only for English PhD programs and of the 10 places I applied, 9 rejected me. With such a profile (or the lack of one) and a background that involved a more weird career turn than yours, I had no reason to expect an admit. I got into UC Davis, but had I been rejected ( was perfectly plausible, and I was thinking everyone had rejected me until last week), there was no way I was thinking "I am not good enough." If anything, it just says "I MAY not be good enough right now."

 

Our lives are long and unpredictable; there is virtue in chugging along and believing in ourselves, as long as we give ourselves enough elbow-room to demand improvement from self.

 

If you want it badly enough, you'd work towards getting it, and there is a decent chance you'd get it. Rejections are the last bits of paper I'd use to judge myself. And breakups and emotional stress may feel connected to your academic scenario, but they really aren't. Keep those thoughts aside while you think about your academic/professional life.

 

There are multiple ways of going at it again, and you mention some of these. None is better than the other (general rule: don't take on a lot of debt, tho.) It depends on where you want to go, and how you think your case will be strengthened by one or the other of these options. Also, depends on what would you rather want to do.

 

Dust yourself up, and move on. You'd do better things in life, that's a surety.

[Dr. Old Bill]

And so you have to arrive at this inevitable conclusion: if you're not a great candidate, you'll never get in. But you can be a great candidate and easily get left out. People know enough to say that this process isn't fair, but I suspect after they get in to programs, they secretly believe that it is. Well, "fair" is not a concept I'm really interested in. What I am interested in is acknowledging that  chance and randomness and weight of numbers plays a huge role in this process, and you've got to give yourself a break for that reason.

 

Yes. This, multiplied by ten thousand.

 

Similar sentiments have been expressed around GC through countless threads over the years (even by CBZ), but it still bears repeating. The process feels personal, because it is an assessment of materials inextricably linked to YOU...and yet it is anything but personal. Some of us will have better "luck" (for lack of a better word) than others, while some of us will have had some minor flaw in our applications -- often a flaw that we don't even know about or even see as a flaw -- that caused adcomms to take a pass on us. It's why I've become so incredibly grateful that I got any opportunity at all out of this process.

 

I don't know you, YoungCharlie, but I highly doubt you're a failure...complete or otherwise! I know it can feel like that (believe me...I know it can feel like that), but that's an emotional response. Realistically, the chances are slim for anybody entering this field, just as they're slim for getting a plum job at the end of the degree. You just have to try to keep your chin up and always remember that it's really not an assessment of who you are as an individual or even as a scholar.

[youngcharlie101]

You are all making me cry. Good tears though! Thanks for the positive vibes, everybody. Gotta keep on keepin' on!

[CarolineNC]

My reply is going to practical, since everyone else has emphasized that this process is hard and that it must not be taken personally. 

 

1) What was your writing sample? Was it part of your thesis on Apartheid? Because if it was, this could be part of the problem. If you're applying for a comparative literature PhD, you need a writing sample on literature. If you want to get into a top program, you need a REALLY strong writing sample on literature. I spent a year on mine. 

 

2) Did you state clearly exactly what you're interested in doing and exactly what your research interests are? Are you research interests sophisticated enough to garner interest from experts in your field? For instance, in my field (19th C American lit), if I were to say, I'm interested in racial passing and the trope of the tragic mulatto, adcoms would probably move on, because this is old news and is also kind of basic. My advice is to read about what's hot in your field that you are interested in, find an angle, craft an original, sophisticated writing sample, and revise it at least 5 times. Mix methods in your writing sample also - I don't know about comparative literature, but an English writing sample should probably be more than close reading. Show that you can work with theory. Show that you know how to use critics effectively to make your argument. Show that you understand the critical conversation surrounding your area. 

 

3) Consider getting an MA in the subject you want to get a PhD in, if you're having trouble getting into PhD programs. I have a BA and an MA in English. When I applied to English PhDs without an MA in English, I didn't get a single acceptance. 

 

I hope this is somewhat heartening, to think of getting into schools as achievable. It's hard work, but committees are looking for grad students who are already thinking like professors, so thinking about your contribution to the field is SUPER important even at this early stage. 

[soundofworm]

You are all making me cry. Good tears though! Thanks for the positive vibes, everybody. Gotta keep on keepin' on!

Youngcharlie, we should be grateful that those rejections they come early in our life. They just tell us something about ourselves. I am a Chinese with a mediocre degree. I suffered depression too and had to suspend my graduate studies for a year. My ex broke up with me on my birthday and ten days before I took GRE. You studied like a fiend and I can assure you that each person who wants to go for PHD in us studies like hell too. I applied for a dozen programs and got a dozen rejections. But I always have a strong sense of who I want to be and can be. A university teacher and a freelance writer. I am sure that if I don't get in this circle, I will do a second round. Just when I am planning it, I got an offer from a decent program. See, life just seems bad but there is a silver lining. PM me if you need any emotional solace, I will be very patient.

[NowMoreSerious]

I'm not exactly sure where to start. I received my MA last year from NYU's Department of Interdisciplinary Studies. I'm an African student who was born and raised in England, but I came to the U.S. before college. My field was anthropology; in fact, the Draper program at NYU allowed me to take multiple courses. My thesis was more anthropologically-based (about the apartheid in South Africa). But my goal is to get a PhD in African Lit.

I got some stronger letters of recommendation and studied for the GRE like a fiend. I even got laid off from my temp job, which I took as a blessing, because I worked on my apps.

I just received my 3rd rejection letter this morning. I have 4 schools left to hear from: Penn, CUNY, Rutgers, and NYU.

While I was waiting for the responses, I applied for New York teaching certification via alternate route. I passed the praxis and am currently looking for some teaching jobs. In the meantime, I'm still working as a temp so I can pay my bills.

I feel so incredibly hopeless when it comes to the PhD application process. I don't know what more I can do. I worked myself into the ground for this application season, but it still wasn't good enough. I suffered with depression and anxiety over the GRE and ended up in the hospital twice because of it. I'm also now going through the worst possible breakup, and I feel like such a failure.

Am I a complete failure, or do I have a shot at next application's cycle? Should I go to grad school again for a Master's in comp lit? Do I need more research experience? I'm totally nonplussed. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

 

As others have said, you still have other schools left to hear from. 

 

My question is simple.  Why do you want to switch suddenly to African-Lit after coming from an Anthropology background? 

 

This is the key question that your entire application should have answered, which is why I ask.