MidwesternAloha Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 I am married and location of grad school is (was?) a big factor in where I chose to apply. I will use the school by name just to help people understand - I applied to a cancer biology track at Wake Forest and was rejected. My application was transferred to another track. I have been contacted by a professor who is potentially interested in my skill set, but after further review, I don't know that I am interested enough in this person's work to spend half a decade working on it. I know it's early on, and there's no harm in seeing the process to completion, and I'm sure a campus visit would change my mind.. But... I don't know that I'm comfortable "selling out" of my dream track for something closer to home. (I have been accepted to a cancer bio program 600 miles away) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuzzylogician Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 People have different priorities and only you know yours. Personally I think there is often too much emphasis put on working on one's "dream project." I'm sure there are exceptions, but for many there is no topic that is "the one" and that's a good thing. Interests change and flexibility is important. I value other criteria just as much as (if not more than) the topic -- those include compatibility with my advisor, appropriate funding, and location. Other people might not care about the location or might compromise on funding and prefer a school with better name recognition, etc. I don't see the harm in letting the process move on and seeing how you feel about the place when you visit. If you like the location and advisor and think you might enjoy the project, even if it's not your favorite topic ever, it'd be worth considering. But only you can prioritize the topic and the other considerations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidwesternAloha Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 It's just something I'm not even interested in. It's biochemistry, sure, but it's not even studying mammalian cells. I agree that I should be flexible in my project, per se, but this is so far removed from anything I want to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuzzylogician Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 If you're sure, then if it were me I'd withdraw, though I also know others who think it's always better to have an offer and decline than not to have an offer. It's up to you. If it were your only offer, would you take it? That's a good way to decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidwesternAloha Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 That's true. I appreciate your perspective. I would feel guilty if I didn't follow through or if I just discarded an offer that could have been revealed to me for a reason. I guess it doesn't hurt to try to finish up the interviews. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VulpesZerda Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 I think that you should discuss this with your spouse and take the time you need, and follow fuzzy's advice about the work you might be doing. I found this thread in a search, because I am in a similar situation, but kind of the opposite. If I may elaborate: for me, the potential projects look really great, but the location is my least favorite. My POI did ask me how I felt about the location in my interview, and I said it liked it. I guess after thinking about it longer, I realize I'm not comfortable with the mega distance from home, crime rate, cost of living, etc. If this was my only offer, I'm pretty sure I'd take it. But it's not... so I will probably decline. Can anyone help me think of a graceful way to do this? Should I give my reasoning? I want to do it soon so that my POI can have the chance to pick someone else (faculty take turns; if I respond soon enough she won't lose her one chance to take a student this year). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidwesternAloha Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 You don't have to have a reason. You simply say you have thoroughly considered the offer, are greatly appreciative, but will be declining. Thank them for their time and generosity. Just concise and professional. My offer (the long distance one) *is* my only offer :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VulpesZerda Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 You don't have to have a reason. You simply say you have thoroughly considered the offer, are greatly appreciative, but will be declining. Thank them for their time and generosity. Just concise and professional. My offer (the long distance one) *is* my only offer :/ Thanks very much! I'm sorry about your predicament I'm not married, but I probably will be before my program is over, so I had to consider him in making choices about where to apply. I cannot believe I found 9 locations that my SO approved of. Plus, the 1 that he didn't - where my post was about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidwesternAloha Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 Gotcha! How strongly does that one weigh on your list of top choices? It's difficult no matter what! Having a SO complicates things lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VulpesZerda Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Gotcha! How strongly does that one weigh on your list of top choices? It's difficult no matter what! Having a SO complicates things lol. As far as the research match, it's pretty much perfect. But the location is a total deal-breaker, not only for my SO, but for me as well. There are two other programs I applied to where I believe that research match is just as good. One was supposed to set up in interview with me, and still hasn't... the other seems to still be deciding! And my first acceptance from January is a pretty good research match and in a lovely location. Ah, what fun this all is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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