Dr. Old Bill Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 To be honest, IQ, I was seeking advice from every angle. While I appreciate your attempt at advice, I think I'm much more inclined towards the students who are actually in my field, which is humanities. And you thought 1Q84's response was rude? 1Q84, Ramus, CarolineNC and 1 other 3 1
youngcharlie101 Posted March 24, 2015 Author Posted March 24, 2015 (edited) And you thought 1Q84's response was rude? This isn't supposed to be a pissing contest, mate. Edited March 24, 2015 by youngcharlie101
ProfLorax Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 YC, GeoDude's advice echoes what pretty much the rest of us are saying. He (making a gender assumption here based on the user name) defended you and spoke with such compassion and insight. I'm sad that you missed the value of his post because of his discipline.
1Q84 Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 (edited) Evidence of acceptance, or recognition of advice is almost impossible to see online. Also, real advice, for a life changing event, doesn't often get actualized immediately by anyone. What do you expect to happen, have her say "You are all right, let me completely uphend my life because of strangers". How is that any evidence of said self-assement work? Of course not. But judging by the fact that youngcharlie only thanks and upvotes posts that she deems to be sufficiently positive certainly indicates what they think about everything else. There are plenty of examples of others on this board getting hard-nosed advice (that they asked for, by the way) and saying, "Yes, I certainly have a lot to think about" and walking off without saying what they will do one way or another. No one is asking youngcharlie to sign on the dotted line, just to perhaps receive all advice with an open mind, something that is clearly not happening. Edit to add: If OP actually digests this advice in real life and does what's best for them, then that's the best outcome in my eyes. It's just upsetting to see so many people that I know are kind and mean very well on TGC pouring a lot of effort into empathetic and compassionate advice only to be downvoted and ignored. Edited March 24, 2015 by 1Q84 ProfLorax 1
youngcharlie101 Posted March 24, 2015 Author Posted March 24, 2015 YC, GeoDude's advice echoes what pretty much the rest of us are saying. He (making a gender assumption here based on the user name) defended you and spoke with such compassion and insight. I'm sad that you missed the value of his post because of his discipline. Thanks so much, all. I've much to think about, but I think I will settle down as a teacher right now. I was offered a job this morning, right as I'm about to leave for the U.K. Must return to New York by June for training. It's quite all right that I won't be going for the PhD now. I just lost my beau and much of my health. I don't wish to be hospitalized for a while. But know that everybody's graduate school experience is different. Some of my mates adored NYU, but for me, it was not the right fit. I would have been happier studying anthro or African Lit at a different environment. Perhaps I can try again some other time, but for now, I accepted the teaching job. It'll be nice to teach literature for a while.
youngcharlie101 Posted March 24, 2015 Author Posted March 24, 2015 Of course not. But judging by the fact that youngcharlie only thanks and upvotes posts that she deems to be sufficiently positive certainly indicates what they think about everything else. There are plenty of examples of others on this board getting hard-nosed advice (that they asked for, by the way) and saying, "Yes, I certainly have a lot to think about" and walking off without saying what they will do one way or another. No one is asking youngcharlie to sign on the dotted line, just to perhaps receive all advice with an open mind, something that is clearly not happening. IQ, I apologize you took the down vote to heart, but it was only because you angered me with "You don't know what you want," which is simply not true. It's the internet, mate. You don't know who I am, so your assumption was a bit skewed. That's all I meant.
Idiot Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 It wasn't my intention to argue against anyone in particular and I don't think I have misrepresented anyone's argument, if that is what is suggested. Perhaps with exception to the quoted remark by CarolineKS, I agree that all the comments here have been well-meaning. What I wanted to highlight was only that the discussion seemed to become one-sidedly critical of the student's abilities, that the tone (see quotes below) was excluding and that this was supported by picturing academia as a very unforgiving place, a fact which "youngcharlie" obviously already was aware of - why restating it seemed all the more unnecessary. -Hating a program and despising professors is not a good sign. While I can't say whether or not NYU's English department is "typical," it is nevertheless academia...and if you had a really bad experience, then it might be a reflection on you and whether academia is the best fit for you in general. However, and I said this to you in your GRE thread, it sounds like you need to work on your own (mental and physical) resiliency first. Graduate school is absolutely not a place that one should go to get one's ego stroked. A few of my colleagues have had past traumas/mental illness and came in expecting to be warmly and kindly supported by every single member of the faculty. The second that this was not the case, they melted down and went into "I hate the faculty here" rants like the one that you keep returning to. If you can't take the really mild criticism here, I don't know... youngcharlie101 1
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