Criticism welcomed- To understand the most important characteristics of a society...

[kyle0226]

To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

 

In the past major cities were a large part of our society.  With the advent of air conditioning, and modern transportation places that were once considered inhabitable are now thriving.  This has caused our once concentrated poplulation to disperse.  Today major cities are a small fragment of our society and therefore are not a reflection of it's most important characteristics.

 

To understand the most important characterstics of society one must broaden their range of thinking beyond major cities.  The farmer in North Dakota is just as part of our society as the stock broker in New York City.  Some may argue the farmer is more imprtant to our society.  The farmer is able to create a necessity that all of us need, i.e. food.  The stock broker does not create anything.  He merely moves money around and makes a fortune. 

 

One of the most influential charactersitics of society goes beyond location.  In examing the most important aspects of society one cannot leave out the internet.   The internet has permenantely altered the course of man kind.  It is just as an important part of our society as any geographical location.  Everything from online dating to grocery shopping now takes place on line. 

 

Some may argue that human interaction is the most important characteristic of socciety, and with a greater population density there is a greater the amount of human interaction.  This thinking may have held true decades ago, but not now technology has brought people to together in ways we never thought possible.  Human interaction is no longer limited to having a a face to face converstation.  Today, we can face time, text message, share videos, and facebook.  

 

In today's day and age there is more to our society that what is found in major cities.  To get an accurate picture one must look to rural, suburban, and cyber space, just as much as urban.  Major cities are a small fragment of our blossoming society.  In order to truly understand humans most imporant characteristics we must look beyond it.     

 

[kyle0226]

This is my first go around, timed, in Microsoft Word with the editing off.

[ProfLorax]

GRE scorers (human and machine) like structure. So I suggest tightening up your organization. Here's a sample outline.

 

Intro: Five sentences introducing the debate. Last sentence should be your thesis, something like "It is no longer necessary to focus solely on cities when trying to understand a society because X, Y, and Z.

 

Para2: Topic sentence expanding upon reason X. Include one specific example and explain why that example proves your point. Shoot for 5-7 sentences (yes, really. The machine likes length).

 

Para3: Topic sentence expanding upon reason Y. Include one specific example and explain why that example proves your point. Shoot for 5-7 sentences.

 

Para4: Topic sentence expanding upon reason Z. Include one specific example and explain why that example proves your point. Shoot for 5-7 sentences.

 

Conclusion: Wrap it all up with a re-worded thesis and impress upon the significance and high stakes of your claim. 

 

BOOM. 

[shinigamiasuka]

I got exactly this topic on my actual GRE. Don't remember what I wrote, but it was somewhere along the lines of "if someone were to start studying a society, large cities may be a good place to start, but they don't quite give the full picture". Disclaimer: I got a 3.5, which is pretty sad (my entire academic life has been in English). Didn't have the time to practise more and resit.

[knp]

I will pop in to point out that the world is urbanizing, not dispersing. Per the UN, "The world is undergoing the largest wave of urban growth in history. ... UN projections show the world's rural population has already stopped growing, but the world can expect to add close to 1.5 billion urbanites in the next 15 years, and 3 billion by 2050."  I still think your point about other spaces, especially cyber space, being important is right on, but the premise that the world's population is dispersing is not right. That said, I have no idea whether factual stuff affects AWA scores or not, and your essay builds decently off of the mistaken premise. Just watch for typos, like "inhabitable" for "uninhabitable."