What happens if there really is no one else to ask?

[Marietyb]

Hi everyone,

I'm in the process of applying to graduate school and I'm having a difficult time finding a third recommendation. I begun asking my undergraduate professors this past summer, two already submitted their recommendations, but the third hasn't yet and I don't think she will. She was one of my professors and my adviser, initially she said she would be more than happy to write me a recommendation. However, she hasn't responded to any of my emails, so in my last email I told her to please let me know if she wasn't able to write me a recommendation, and that I would understand. Still nothing from her. What's so difficult about just telling me "no, I can't do it." Anyway, I emailed another former professor and I am awaiting his response, he's my last hope. If he says "no," that's it, there is really nobody else I can ask....NOBODY. If it comes to that, I'll just be forced to submit my applications with two LoR's and hope for the best.

[fuzzylogician]

When are the deadlines? When did you two talk and when did you send those emails? This is the summer and people are away from their email, or they may not think it's a priority to submit a LOR long before the deadline. This may be (understandably) stressful for you, but doesn't mean that she won't come through. 

If it does come to it, I would highly recommend not submitting an incomplete application. I am sure you had more than three professors during your four years of school. Better to submit a letter that just says "Marietyb participated in my class and got an A" than nothing at all. 

[Marietyb]

I'm applying to four schools; one has a November 1st deadline, another has a December 15 deadline, and the remaining two are in January/February.

One only requires two LoR's, so I'm not worried with that one, the others require three. I initially sent the emails to my former professors in May. The college where they all teach started this week, two of them already submitted their LoR's, I'm just unsure about the third professor. 

I know it's still early, but I don't want to be sitting around like an idiot and waiting for Dr. X to submit her letter. She could have said no in the first place. 

[fuzzylogician]

Frankly I'm surprised that two have already submitted their letters. It's super early.

I know it's still early, but I don't want to be sitting around like an idiot and waiting for Dr. X to submit her letter. She could have said no in the first place. 

The first week of class is very busy for professors, and not the best time to send emails. I would imagine that a letter due two and a half months from now is not your professor's top priority at the moment, and that (together with general first week craziness) could be why you haven't received a reply. I'd suggest emailing again in the second half of the second week of the semester, when things should be calmer. If you don't get a reply, show up for office hours and talk to her in person.

I would strongly recommend not assuming that she is "flaking out" or going back on her promise. It is entirely legitimate for her to prioritize other more pressing tasks above this one, which is not due for a very long time. It does not mean she won't do it. Just tell her you're anxious and want to confirm she'll submit on time and ask if there is any information you can provide to help her write a stronger letter. If she does say no (which, to reiterate, there is no evidence of right now!), two and a half months is still more than enough time to find someone else to write you a letter. If you give your letter writer 4-6 weeks, that should be enough. 

[Marietyb]

I have a suspicion that she will either say no or just completely ignore my emails. As for my other professor, I didn't get any response from him yet. I just hate sending them awkward email after awkward email . 

There are two other former professors that I could ask, but when I asked them to write me LoRs for a scholarship this past winter, they didn't respond to my emails. So I don't know about asking them. 

 

[fuzzylogician]

Your first post says she has already agreed to write you a letter, so as I said before, until you ascertain that there is a problem, you should assume that there isn't any. Again, find her in office hours if she doesn't respond to your email and ask. If she says yes, try to establish some parameters for when you'll send her information and reminders. Some people are bad with email, and while they will do things on time, they will drive you crazy because of the uncertainty. 

If you are asking other professors, I would again recommend doing that in person. Email and ask for a meeting. Ask for the letters in person at the meeting, unless there is a reason why you have to use email. 

And again, the first week of the semester is not the best timing. Everyone has very pressing problems to fix that need to be taken care of right now, and an email from a student about a LOR due in 2 months won't take high priority, and could easily get pushed back and eventually forgotten. I would follow up in another week, and/or go to office hours.

As a last thought, this may be wrong, but if you've emailed four(?) people and have gotten no responses, maybe there is something about how the email is worded that is causing that. It may be good to show the email to someone to make sure that it has the right tone and makes a clear request. 

[TakeruK]

I agree with fuzzy: if a professor has agreed to do something, there is no reason to assume they are going back on their word at this point. LORs are an important part of their job and they will treat it seriously. At the same time, managing deadlines is another very important part of their job, and something that is 2 months away is a very low priority (even if it's a very important thing).

For comparison, the majority of the professors I asked to write my LORs told me ahead of time that I should not expect to see it submitted until a few days before the deadline. They asked for occasional reminders in case they have time, and that in the last week before the deadline, I should not worry about "bugging" them by sending repeated reminders. I ended up sending (an automated) reminder 2 weeks prior to the deadline + 2 days before the deadline and LORs were submitted right after one of those reminders. However, letters can arrive after the deadline too, in most cases. Although not ideal, usually if a LOR is coming late, you can explain it to the school and they will understand (as they are also going to have to send a letter late once in awhile too, themselves). Of course, as the deadline approaches, you should be in contact with your writers so that they can let you know it might be late, ahead of time.

Finally, it is also helpful to keep in mind that your LOR will probably take about 1.0 to 1.5 hours of your professor's time in total. For a task that is not due for several months and will only take 1-1.5 hours, it makes a lot of sense for professors to prioritize this to be a task to be completed in October/November, after the initial rush of classes have begun (or even after fall term final exams, for deadlines in late December / early January).

[Marietyb]

Thanks guys for the responses. I hope it does turn out that I'm worrying over nothing. 

[Marietyb]

So an update on this, if anyone wants to know: she finally got back to me and after I had sent her two emails, she still is going to do the letters. This was two and a half weeks ago, so I'm just waiting for the notifications that she submitted the letters. One of the programs has a November 1st deadline, so I'm hoping she does that one first, since it's going to be October already. Getting LOR's has to be the most frustrating part of applying to graduate school, well, other than waiting for a decision. I'm also waiting for my other former instructor to upload her final two letters. I'm so impatient.

[fuzzylogician]

Thanks for the update. I'll just reiterate again that jobs that are over a month in the future may not be very high on your professor's to-do list, and that does not mean she won't do it. Good luck! 

[Eigen]

So an update on this, if anyone wants to know: she finally got back to me and after I had sent her two emails, she still is going to do the letters. This was two and a half weeks ago, so I'm just waiting for the notifications that she submitted the letters. One of the programs has a November 1st deadline, so I'm hoping she does that one first, since it's going to be October already. Getting LOR's has to be the most frustrating part of applying to graduate school, well, other than waiting for a decision. I'm also waiting for my other former instructor to upload her final two letters. I'm so impatient.

If the deadline is November 1st, I'd expect her to submit in the last week of October.

Lots of academia is about triaging work, and doing things more than a month before you need to is rarely in the cards.

[nyshopgirl14]

Thanks for the update and I totally understand! I actually have two professional references and one academic and the academic one has been the biggest pain to get any communication on. When I initially asked, my professor didn't respond to my email, but then responded to me wishing her Happy Bday on Facebook. (Technology makes life weird.) So she said she would write the letter but when I sent her all my info (statement of purpose, resume) she hasn't responded. I realize I have almost two months until the first deadline (Dec.1) but I'm also worried she'll flake out last minute and then I'll only have two letters. It's a common worry, I think, and yes, definitely the most frustrating part of applying. But I also understand that professors probably get asked for a TON of letters and that's in addition to grading, teaching, their own research.

[Mariehelion]

Hi everyone, I'm the person who created this thread, I had to make another account since my original account was linked to my Facebook account, which I deactivated. 

Anyway, another update on my situation. It's 3 weeks from my first grad application deadline and I have let my recommender, Dr. N, know this. She hasn't responded to my reminder emails nor has she he uploaded the letter. As I stated in my previous post, she told me she was going to write the letters. I asked her in the reminder email, if it's possible, that she could submit the letter a week before the November 1st deadline, since I have to send supplemental hard copies of the application through snail mail. 

I'm trying to remain calm and patient, but I am getting worried. My two other recommenders already uploaded all of their letters and they all work at the same college. Judging from the posts I've read in here, it seems it's always that third final recommender that takes his/her sweet time.