Should I go back to industry?

[SymmetryOfImperfection]

I'm at a crossroads. Currently I'm having trouble with TAing. While this has not been a concern in the past, in recent months there has been stricter scrutiny of all TAs. I try my best to do what is right for the students and help them learn, but this has been interpreted as being too easy and not paying attention to the students enough. I don't know if I'm suited for the PHD anymore.

Edited September 17, 2015 by SymmetryOfImperfection

[rising_star]

Struggling with being a TA doesn't mean you aren't suited for a PhD. A PhD is a research degree, not a teaching degree. If you're struggling with the teaching, you either work to improve it or you buy yourself out of it through grants/fellowships. I highly recommend that you talk to your university's teaching center and see if they can either observe you or have one of your classes recorded and then watch it with them. They can help you identify what you're doing well and what needs work, plus it's an outside evaluation that you can include in your departmental file and your overall teaching portfolio. 

[fuzzylogician]

It's a real shame that this one person is causing you so much anxiety. From everything you've written in your previous posts, it sounds like you are a good teacher. I am not sure why this person is not appreciating it, but even if it were all true and there are problems with your teaching, it's still not a reason to quit. The PhD is a research degree. You do it because you enjoy the work, and because the jobs you want to have later on require it. You can learn to improve as a teacher. After you graduate, if you truly believe you are not a good teacher, there are low- or no-teaching jobs out there. It is also perfectly legitimate to decide to get a job in industry instead, but make sure you make the choice for the right reasons, so you don't regret it later. To me, frustration with the TA coordinator is not the right reason. 

[TakeruK]

I also think that you are a good teacher and a great TA. Your philosophy and approach sounds very similar to mine and what we teach TAs here at my school. I'm sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with your TA coordinator! As the others said, this does not reflect on your suitability for a PhD degree! 

[Cheshire_Cat]

It really does sound like you just don't get along with the director.  It is really weird to me that the director has called you in so many times considering you don't really get feedback on how the class is going until after it is over.  Don't worry about it.  Research should be your focus anyways, not teaching.  That being said, I might bring it up to my adviser.  Not as a complaint, but just ask for feedback about the situation and how to deal with it.  Also, that way if the teaching director talks to your adviser, he will have already heard your side of the story first and be aware of the situation.

When you are a Ph.D, it is your right to teach your class how you want.  Not being about to do it exactly like someone else wants does not mean you are a bad teacher or not cut out for being in academia.

[SymmetryOfImperfection]

It really does sound like you just don't get along with the director.  It is really weird to me that the director has called you in so many times considering you don't really get feedback on how the class is going until after it is over.  Don't worry about it.  Research should be your focus anyways, not teaching.  That being said, I might bring it up to my adviser.  Not as a complaint, but just ask for feedback about the situation and how to deal with it.  Also, that way if the teaching director talks to your adviser, he will have already heard your side of the story first and be aware of the situation.

When you are a Ph.D, it is your right to teach your class how you want.  Not being about to do it exactly like someone else wants does not mean you are a bad teacher or not cut out for being in academia.

Struggling with being a TA doesn't mean you aren't suited for a PhD. A PhD is a research degree, not a teaching degree. If you're struggling with the teaching, you either work to improve it or you buy yourself out of it through grants/fellowships. I highly recommend that you talk to your university's teaching center and see if they can either observe you or have one of your classes recorded and then watch it with them. They can help you identify what you're doing well and what needs work, plus it's an outside evaluation that you can include in your departmental file and your overall teaching portfolio. 

thanks guys. 

I know where I'm going wrong from their point of view. Problem is, fixing what is wrong on my end requires incredible amounts of effort that I struggle to come up with because I have a shit ton of demands on my time (such as passing the candidacy exam, actually doing research, finishing up some electives for credit requirements, etc). I am under scrutiny so now I cannot make even a single mistake. I didn't plan to stay in academia, but I'm doubting my ability to even finish this PHD now. It would be great if I could get an RA, but if I have to TA, I'm scared that it's only a matter of time before I mess up.

Edited September 19, 2015 by SymmetryOfImperfection