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Vexing Letter of Recommendation dilemma!


LondonFog

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So I am reapplying to a very competitive program that I was waitlisted for last year. It is a counselling psychology program with a lot of emphasis on practical counselling experience, as opposed to academic/research, and we are only allowed to submit two LORs - one academic, and one professional. Last year I asked my clinic supervisor, an RN, to write me a letter, and she was happy to do so, and showed me the letter. It was very positive, but did not really go into many specifics about counselling per se. She was also very difficult to communicate with and I had major - down-to-the-wire - stress worrying about whether she would actually get the letter submitted before the deadline.

This year, I asked her again, and never heard back from her. After two weeks of no response, I asked someone else, who was not a direct supervisor, but does know me, and has better credentials - a Dr./clinical sexologist. She happily agreed to write a letter, after my explaining my situation with not hearing back from her colleague. Then, a week later, I heard back from my original LOR writer, who said, I'm so sorry, of course I'll submit the letter. I mentioned that I had had feedback from the department regarding "Practical reference letter(s) should be glowing and elaborate in detail on the counselling skillsets and interventions practiced, client populations served, timeframes for these experiences, and referees should be familiar with the demands of our graduate program and the counselling profession."

She said, no problem. Could you make the desired changes in the letter for me and I'll just look it over? ARGGH. 

So, I feel bad about writing my own stuff in her letter, but I know this happens a lot. But -- I worry that it's not ethical, and that the department may see my writing style in her essay. 

Also, I wonder if I would be better going with an (unseen) letter from a Dr. who is more experienced in the counselling area. And if I go with the original letter writer, how do I respond to the second person I asked? I don't want her to go to the trouble of writing me a letter that I won't end up asking her to submit.

Any feedback/thoughts?

This is by far the most stressful aspect of the application for me.

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It's hard to say if they unseen letter would be better. Does that person know about your ability to succeed as a counselor? Are there specific clinical experiences that they can draw on? If not, then it will probably be a weaker letter than the RN's letter. You already know what's in the RN's letter and you can add in the additional information to make it even stronger. Were it me, that's the option I would go with.

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