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Please help to improve my SOP ...Thanks in advance!~~~

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Hi everyone!   

Would you please help me with my SOP? I was an international relations student, but now want to switch to Public Health - Policy and Management.  As transferring degree, I decided to spend more space talking about how I became interested, and how my past work experience affected me or would help in the future..I'm not sure if this is the right structure for my situation. 

Please let me know if you could help! I will PM you my draft.   Thank you so much!!!! 


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Washington University in St. Louis – Statement of Purpose

   (requires 2 pages, single space)    P.S. I'm an international student, please let me know if the writing style is not okay or the tone of this essay is strange....Thanks!!!!

Growing up in a doctors’ family, I started to understand the importance of medicine at a very young age. Studying International Relations at the Australian National University and looking through multidisciplinary academic perspectives, allows me to realize that medical and health affairs are not simply limited to the realm of biology and genetics. Having an academic emphasis on nations’ developmental issues and a interest in social work and healthcare environment, I interned and volunteered at the Shanghai Maternal and Child Hospital and the Shanghai Women’s Federation during my second and third year’s summer breaks. After graduation, I worked at a multinational medical technology company, Medtronic, for 1.5 years. This inspired me to focus on health policies and programs. I am motivated to influence current and future public health programs and policy through research, planning and evaluation. With a systematical MPH study focusing on policy and management, I will be able to learn deeply about the most practical theories and business analytical methods to use in my future real-world experiences.

At university, while studying politics honed my skills to understand political approaches and policies on a global scale, I developed my particular interests concerning inequality, underdevelopment and public health issues through sociology core courses. In order to investigate society’s influences on people’s health at a deeper level, I enrolled in the course: Sociology of Health and Illness at third year. Communicating among postgraduate students has broadened my knowledge on specific diseases such as diabetes and hysteria. Later on, I worked independently on examining the chronicle occupational disease asbestosis (caused by inhaling non-dissolvable fibrous mineral) for my research essay, in which I argued one of the main causes to be the lack of proper regulations to ensure work safety and environmental protections. Apart from that I also came to realize that even for a developed country like Australia, some occupational/environmental diseases were not well prevented and justifiably compensated. Health policy needs to be emphasized and placed in a more appropriate status. This coursework and research not only provided me basis of public health knowledge, but also enabled me to look at it from a larger picture at a sociological level and cemented my interest in the contribution to public health discipline.

My voluntary position at the Shanghai Pudong Healthcare Hospital of Women and Children in 2011 November allowed me to look into medical policy practice in hospital settings, women’s health specifically. Working with the Vice Dean and her postgraduate students, I classified more than 1500 surveys into different determinants of health for an advanced research on induced abortion in Shanghai Pudong district 2011-2012. I have noticed the rate of proper screening during pregnancy was very low in contrast with a high rate of abortion before reaching the age of 21. However, there were few specific instructions for hospitals to promote general examine services and encourage feedbacks, and as a result, the implementation of screening is weak. From the voluntary experience, I also recognized that hospitals have low autonomy in making their own health policies, as standards are always set from city and province government level.

Working full time in Medtronic after graduation showed me a clearer career path, and compelled me to further my study in Public Health. After organizing more than 30 international educational programs and interviewing surgeons on clinical research program development, I accumulated professional knowledge of spinal deformity diseases, and communicated closely with surgeons regarding current health regulation problems. When ruminating what they reflected and comparing the Chinese health system to Australian, I noted that our health investment is far from adequate. As read a 2010 report from WHO, the insufficient medical funding tends to be further wasted because of poor incentives and design.

My goal is to pursue a career in responding to both existing and emerging trends in public health practice. Using the professional tool of policy analysis, I can contribute to the implementation of plans and regulations, and improve health service delivery. After finishing a degree that focuses on Health Policy with the understanding of how the policies were designed and implemented, I will be able to seize a position at either an NGO or a corporate firm that provides policy consulting and guidance services to public sectors and hospitals; which focuses on both policy making and analysis.

(From here, I will dedicate another 2 paragraphs stating why WUSTL)..

Please comment and help improve it!! Thank you so much!!!

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