AWA argument task

[Imtiaz Johan]

Please evaluate my response to this argument task, as this is my first attempt to write the argument task. Any suggestion is appreciated.

 

The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.

"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

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The argument is erroneous for many reasons. Though Monarch Books is doing business in the same area for more than twenty years but the type of business of cafe and selling books is totally a different ball game from one to another. Thus, inferring from this point that Monarch should open a café just  because they are selling books there for a long time is invalid.

 

The argument unwarranted that opening a café will be beneficial for the book store. Cause the operating a café and a book store is totally different and requires experience. The differences may be stated in a simple way that food products have a expiry date while the books doesn’t. So to operate a café needs a forecasting and many other things. Notwithstanding, the Monarch café has a large customer following and could operate the café flawlessly without any hassle there is no guarantee that the customers will have  engage them in that café.

Furthermore, the Monarch café didn’t segmented their customers. So,without doing the segmentation the bookstore just can’t discontinue their kids section. There must be a proper observation and data analysis of the past records so that the bookstore has a clear idea of their customers’ preferred sections.  Even though, there is a census,  claiming the number of children will be less but just depending upon that census,where there is no certainty of the foretelling and compromising the kids section will be an eccentric decision.

 

Last but not the least, the argument flawed in comparing the Monarch book with the competitor Regal books. Just because the Regal books has opened  a café, doesn’t guarantee them more profits and increase of number of customers.  There might be a case that Reagal books had unoccupied space, so they just have utilized that space by opening a café. So, taking a decision of opening a café by just following the same will not be wise.

So, taking a decision of opening a café by depending upon a census and compromising the kids section without surveying and there is no guarantee that people will like to have something from the café just because they are book readers doesn’t make sense .

[Imtiaz Johan]

any altruist??

 

 

[kokobanana]

On 12/7/2015 at 2:35 AM, Imtiaz Johan said:

Please evaluate my response to this argument task, as this is my first attempt to write the argument task. Any suggestion is appreciated.

 

 

The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.

"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The argument is erroneous for many reasons. Though Monarch Books is doing business in the same area for more than twenty years but the type of business of cafe and selling books is totally a different ball game from one to another. Thus, inferring from this point that Monarch should open a café just  because they are selling books there for a long time is invalid.

 

The argument unwarranted that opening a café will be beneficial for the book store. Cause the operating a café and a book store is totally different and requires experience. The differences may be stated in a simple way that food products have a expiry date while the books doesn’t. So to operate a café needs a forecasting and many other things. Notwithstanding, the Monarch café has a large customer following and could operate the café flawlessly without any hassle there is no guarantee that the customers will have  engage them in that café.

Furthermore, the Monarch café didn’t segmented their customers. So,without doing the segmentation the bookstore just can’t discontinue their kids section. There must be a proper observation and data analysis of the past records so that the bookstore has a clear idea of their customers’ preferred sections.  Even though, there is a census,  claiming the number of children will be less but just depending upon that census,where there is no certainty of the foretelling and compromising the kids section will be an eccentric decision.

 

Last but not the least, the argument flawed in comparing the Monarch book with the competitor Regal books. Just because the Regal books has opened  a café, doesn’t guarantee them more profits and increase of number of customers.  There might be a case that Reagal books had unoccupied space, so they just have utilized that space by opening a café. So, taking a decision of opening a café by just following the same will not be wise.

So, taking a decision of opening a café by depending upon a census and compromising the kids section without surveying and there is no guarantee that people will like to have something from the café just because they are book readers doesn’t make sense .

Hi Imtiaz,

So I'll give you some honest feedback -

I think your essay response would greatly benefit from an outline before writing it. Your essay felt jumbled and not as well thought out as it could have been. Start each paragraph with a strong topic sentence that gives one point why the argument is flawed, then follow up with concrete examples of why it is flawed. Statements like "cause the operating a cafe and a book store is totally different and requires experience" and "...many other things" are vague and don't provide strong support for your argument.

You use good transitions, like "notwithstanding", "furthermore" and "last but not least". But be careful with general grammar and punctuation. Sometimes your word choices came off awkward (like "segmentation", "no certainty of the foretelling" and "the argument unwarranted"), there was repetition in a couple of parts ("and could operate the cafe flawlessly without any hassle", and punctuation was off in many places.

Most importantly, you didn't directly answer the prompt. The prompt is asking for what additional questions (think information!) would be necessary to support the recommendation to open the cafe. This is what you need to answer in your essay.

If I were you, I would practice writing these without considering the time limit (or just practice outlining good responses!). Then work on writing it in 30 minutes.

Good luck!