at a loss now

[AnxiousRaisin]

Just received feedback from my advisor about a final paper I submitted. I was expecting an A since this is actually the one I have made the most efforts on. Ironically, the advisor describes it as "disappointing" and "can't recall another paper of you so roughly written." Fortunately, she asks me to rewrite it. But I was shocked and at a loss. I replied to her and asked for more detailed suggestions (she has not reached the main part and I doubt if she has even read my thesis (there is no comment on the thesis.)) I admitted to her that the introduction part is not clear enough and aksed if she could briefly read the rest of my paper. I wrote the email as politely as I could but now I fear it may irritate her.

Some background information (mainly my own impression, so could be biased). I have taken her courses for 5 semesters. My impression is that she often "misunderstands" me--I'm not not sure if this is my problem since I don't feel other professors "misunderstand" me so often. Sometimes I feel she does not read my responses and papers very carefully. Nonetheless, she seems to be easily impressed by something she is not familiar with. For instance, I once submitted an essay on a film. She usually focuses on literature and does not know much about films. I got an A for that one, though I feel it is really an empty essay and lacks a clear thesis now. I have been trying to communicate with her since the first semester but I don't feel I have got much useful or clear advice from her. At the end of this semester, we had a presentation in class and everyone talked about the papers they were going to submit. She told me that my theoretical framework "works" and I kept it in the final version of the paper. I also asked about the introduction part that I had some doubt with. I was not sure if I should leave it out, but her answer was "it depends on you. If you feel it works, you can keep it."

I always remind myself that as long as I make more efforts, I would make progress eventually. And this semester, I indeed felt that I was doing better. So her comment is really a "surprise." My head aches now and I don't know what I should do. I usually receive great comment from my other professors and some of them tried to persuade me into switching my field to related ones. I feel I'm losing my motivation now.

I apologize if I sound like ranting, but please give me some suggestions.

[PoliticalOrder]

What exactly do you want us to suggest?

Rewrite the paper and make it better. 

[AnxiousRaisin]

2 minutes ago, PoliticalOrder said:

What exactly do you want us to suggest?

Rewrite the paper and make it better. 

Maybe I have not made it clear, but I don't think it's just about one paper. Of course I'm going to rewrite it but now I'm confused whether I am in the right field or with the right adviser...

[PoliticalOrder]

Real talk....

Grad school is not going to be a walk in the park nor anything to do with academia for that matter. Everything you do can always be better. You are going to receive feedback that points out problems with your work and you are going to have to learn how to take this feedback and make your work better. 

[AnxiousRaisin]

 

1 minute ago, PoliticalOrder said:

Real talk....

Grad school is not going to be a walk in the park nor anything to do with academia for that matter. Everything you do can always be better. You are going to receive feedback that points out problems with your work and you are going to have to learn how to take this feedback and make your work better. 

Thanks for being so positive. That's what I have been trying to do for the past two years. But does that mean that it doesn't matter which field I'm in and which adviser I'm with? I understand the importance of effort, but now I'm doubting if I've made good choices.

Again, I appreciate and admire your attitude.

[sociologyapp2016]

15 minutes ago, PoliticalOrder said:

Real talk....

Grad school is not going to be a walk in the park nor anything to do with academia for that matter. Everything you do can always be better. You are going to receive feedback that points out problems with your work and you are going to have to learn how to take this feedback and make your work better. 

I think it's more accurate to say that in academia, you're going to be receiving a lot of feedback that can be conflicting, ambiguous, disagreeable, or just flat out nonsense.

That it to say, don't get upset and personally insulted over a person's feedback to your paper, even if that person is your advisor. Take what you will in stride. At the end of the day, it's your paper, it's your work, and it's your decision about if and how you want to make any changes to what you wrote.

As for your advisor and second-thoughts about changing your field...Well, it sounds like you're overreacting. A lot. It also sounds like you just need to take a step away and calm down. Once you've done that, you can think about changing advisors/fields.

[random_grad]

2 hours ago, AnxiousRaisin said:

But does that mean that it doesn't matter which field I'm in and which adviser I'm with? I understand the importance of effort, but now I'm doubting if I've made good choices.

 

9 hours ago, AnxiousRaisin said:

I have taken her courses for 5 semesters.

 

It sounds like you have been with this person for quite a while now. So there must be a lot of other things which work between you two. Also think of your advisor's stature in the field. If she's a major figure, I'd say it should not be a problem for you to accept some infelicitous moments. Try focusing on these positive things for a while. Do these outweigh the negative?  Also, do you have an alternative advisor in mind? Consider the difficulty of changing advisors. Is she already assigned to you? Are you able to just switch to an MA and then go to another program? Also, is your committee all set? who are the other people? I know people for whom a secondary advisor on a committee has de facto become a primary one.

imo one of the tricks in grad school is not balance your own obsessions, finding your voice, identifying your big contribution to the field, with fitting in with how things are done in your subfield, what your advisor expects etc. So in a way you need to adapt to the broad expectations of the field, but this should not prevent you from finding your voice. However, I think it's crucial to be able to make your advisor happy and understand when it's genuine criticism vs. attempt at pushing you further.

Finally, I'd say that you should always assume that the prof has read your entire paper. So not ask "please read my paper further" but rather "what do you think of this idea".

[Eigen]

I feel like this thread has a lot of generalizations that are really more suited to field specific responses. For instance, the advice that "it's your paper" only flies so far in experimental fields that necessitate co-authorship with an advisor, or many other people. It's not your paper, it's a group effort, and you all keep hammering away until all (most) of you are happy with the result. 

I'm gathering this is a humanities field, but since there's no field specified, how can we tell you if you picked the right one?

As for the situation, if I read a paper from someone and feel the introduction is so rough that the grade for the entire paper is going to be drug down below an acceptable level, I'd stop reading and send it back to them. Then my reading of the rest of the paper the next time isn't tainted by a rough first brush. 

So don't ask her to "read more and re-evaluate". You might not like the results. 

Re-write the paper and polish it. 

[AnxiousRaisin]

Thank you all for the suggestions.  It's great to listen to different voices when I'm not sure whether my ego is getting in the way. Maybe I've not experiencing such things enough...Like Sociologyapp2016 said, I should step away and calm down for the moment and then look at the situation more rationally.

[random_grad]

9 hours ago, random_grad said:

not balance

sorry, I meant "to balance"

[sociologyapp2016]

10 hours ago, Eigen said:

I feel like this thread has a lot of generalizations that are really more suited to field specific responses. For instance, the advice that "it's your paper" only flies so far in experimental fields that necessitate co-authorship with an advisor, or many other people. It's not your paper, it's a group effort, and you all keep hammering away until all (most) of you are happy with the result. 

I'm gathering this is a humanities field, but since there's no field specified, how can we tell you if you picked the right one?

As for the situation, if I read a paper from someone and feel the introduction is so rough that the grade for the entire paper is going to be drug down below an acceptable level, I'd stop reading and send it back to them. Then my reading of the rest of the paper the next time isn't tainted by a rough first brush. 

So don't ask her to "read more and re-evaluate". You might not like the results. 

Re-write the paper and polish it. 

No, I think you're making unnecessary specifications. The OP said he was working on a "final paper," which sounds like a typical class assignment and not a co-authored paper. He also referred to another paper he wrote that was on films, and that his professor usually specializes in literature. While it is true that the OP's first post is vague, there is nothing to suggest that he comes from a hard-sciences field or that he is writing a co-authored paper.

Overall, the gist of it seems straightforward enough: the OP is a perfectionist-type student that typically performs very well in all his classes, but as a consequence doesn't respond well to criticism or negative feedback. He's just got some negative feedback and is accordingly feeling upset and disillusioned over it. 

[AnxiousRaisin]

2 hours ago, sociologyapp2016 said:

No, I think you're making unnecessary specifications. The OP said he was working on a "final paper," which sounds like a typical class assignment and not a co-authored paper. He also referred to another paper he wrote that was on films, and that his professor usually specializes in literature. While it is true that the OP's first post is vague, there is nothing to suggest that he comes from a hard-sciences field or that he is writing a co-authored paper.

Overall, the gist of it seems straightforward enough: the OP is a perfectionist-type student that typically performs very well in all his classes, but as a consequence doesn't respond well to criticism or negative feedback. He's just got some negative feedback and is accordingly feeling upset and disillusioned over it. 

Thanks for the explanation, and I agree with you that my ego is the main part of the problem in this case. But I feel this incident triggers my constant anxiety about not being able to effectively communicate with my adviser and learn from her. (But again, it might be my excuse to shift away from my own problem...idk...)

Edited January 8, 2016 by AnxiousRaisin
typo

[AP]

I got a final paper back from my two advisors. They were co-teaching. Of course you feel bummed. 

Now, let's get real:

1) Making an effort does not mean progress. Sorry. It should be like that but spending more time in front of the computer does not improve your research skills. And, like it or not, professors don't grade effort. They grade papers. It sounds harsh, but it is good to separate the two.

2) Your advisor knows you better than other professors. In my case, I am sure the paper would have passed in any other class, but they were pushing me because they want me to succeed. I mean, it felt so horrible at the time, and I was SO embarrassed. But in the end I produced I great paper, which informed my teaching a year later. So hang on. 

3) If after so many semesters you feel you advisor misunderstands you, then have a talk with her and/or with the DGS. It is OK to talk things out. For example, one of my advisors is hard to talk to because he can be very condescending over one's concerns. Yet, when I go to him with a simple, straight-forward request and a good justification, he yields. He used to say "this paragraph is wrong". So I did follow up questions on what is wrong (the writing? the grammar? the argument?). Now he is more precise with his feedback. 

4) Wanting straight As is OK. Here, we sort of have to. But at the same time grade is not important. Focus on what's important: being a good writer, a good researcher, a good speaker, whatever. 

5) Suspecting that your advisor didn't read the whole paper is a harsh accusation and I would be very careful. 

 

A final suggestion, don't be afraid to talk to people in your program. They'll give you more hands-on advise because many have had your advisor or other faculty!