Visit Weekends for Waitlisters

[screamingacrossthesky]

Just looking for a little advice... I've been waitlisted at one of my top choices and invited to attend their visit weekend.  However, this seems so awkward, since I'm not really an admitted student.  Any advice on whether or not to go?  Thanks in advance!

Edited February 2, 2016 by screamingacrossthesky

[ProfLorax]

Go! You'll want to gather as much intel about the program in case you are admitted. And if the program is inviting you to visit, that's a good sign you're high on the wait list. 

[cloverhinge]

If they invited you I think you shouldn't feel awkward about going. I haven't really heard about waitlisted students going to visit weekends though so I would feel awk if I were in your shoes as well, but I definitely think the invitation is probably a genuine one. I guess the only concern that I would have is money -- would they give you any financial support if you were to visit? 

[WendyWonderland]

2 hours ago, screamingacrossthesky said:

Just looking for a little advice... I've been waitlisted at one of my top choices and invited to attend their visit weekend.  However, this seems so awkward, since I'm not really an admitted student.  Any advice on whether or not to go?  Thanks in advance!

I think you should totally go and take advantage of the trip and talk to as many professors and grad students as possible! I think the vibe is very important, and if they like you, they might move you up from the waitlist. If you do not go, they might consider you as not interested and choose another candidate over you once a spot is available. Believe me, I visited before I applied, and they admitted me without an interview (they interviewed other people).

[Mattie Roh]

I would totally go. I'm wait listed at a place right now and am thinking of asking if I can attend visiting weekend because I don't want to have to make the decision blind if I get accepted.

[screamingacrossthesky]

Thanks so much to all of you for sharing your advice!  I've decided to go, but I know I'm going to feel like the unworthy runner-up cowering in the corner.

[iExcelAtMicrosoftPuns]

3 hours ago, screamingacrossthesky said:

Thanks so much to all of you for sharing your advice!  I've decided to go, but I know I'm going to feel like the unworthy runner-up cowering in the corner.

But you're not an unworthy runner-up.

You're totally worthy (whatever that means) and this much is reflected in the invitation. If you go there or if you go somewhere else, you're all in the same wheelhouse doing similar work. So yeah, take that opportunity to get to know them and let them get to know you.

[1Q84]

Yes, I'd go. And be glad you were invited! Not all schools invite their wait listees to their visit days (I wasn't!)

[NowMoreSerious]

They invited you because they probably have a very short wait list, or you are very high on it, or both.  As others have said, few schools do this so I would take advantage of it and go.  

That being said, if/when more acceptances pour in then you'll have to strategize and prioritize.  Believe me, I know from experience these visits get really expensive (I visited 6 schools in 2013.   

[greenmt]

I went to one, during the most recent admissions season, as a waitlister, and without stayover funding (it was drivable), and found that a place I was sure I would like was not for me, after all.  It was well worth it.  A PhD is a big, multiyear commitment.  There are parts that are hard to see from a distance.

[Tybalt]

6 hours ago, greenmt said:

I went to one, during the most recent admissions season, as a waitlister, and without stayover funding (it was drivable), and found that a place I was sure I would like was not for me, after all.  It was well worth it.  A PhD is a big, multiyear commitment.  There are parts that are hard to see from a distance.

This, times a million.  I went to a visit weekend as a wait-lister a few years ago.  It was INCREDIBLY awkward, as we weren't wearing badges that identified our status (so lovely awkward moments where profs were pitching the program turned into even MORE awkward comments about how I wasn't admitted yet).  On top of that, people tend to group/cluster by subfield, so I was literally hanging out with the three people who would have to decline for me to get an offer.

 

That said, all the awkwardness was totally worth it.  The department was wonderful, and I can't say enough good things about them, their program, or the grad community there, but the prof I wanted to work with turned out to be a grade-A jerk.  There were other profs there I could have worked with had an offer come along, but that prof was THE reason I applied to that school,  and meeting him actually made it much easier when the offer DIDN'T come along.  My current program ended up being the perfect fit for me.  If I hadn't gone to the visit weekend and HAD received an offer, I would have learned about JerkProf after it was already too late.

 

TL/DR version:  Sometimes, a little bit of valuable information is worth the busload of awkward you need to travel in to get it.

[screamingacrossthesky]

Thanks again to everyone who has responded, especially those who have shared personal anecdotes.  Your input has been very helpful in changing my frame of mind to get the most out of the visit.  Busload of awkward here I come...