Jump to content

Critique my SOP


Recommended Posts

Nice essay.

I particularly like your introduction (with the exception, perhaps of the last sentence, which could be maybe be reworded better).

The second and third paragraphs I think are a little vague/cliche, and don't add much value to the SOP. The program for your sibling in high school probably isn't significant enough to include (or, if it is, illustrate why) and its connection to helping humanity is strained.

The final four paragraphs are much stronger, although there seems to be lots of telling and not so much showing (but I'm terrible at the show, don't tell thing so I don't what advice to give you there).

Your conclusion is also good, tying into the introduction and your goals and how Stanford fits into them.

One last thought: you talk about working with Prof X, Y, and Z. Maybe that 'and' should be an 'or' so it doesn't seem as presumptuous.

Hope this helps! (Even though it's vague)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. See our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use