Repair Relationship with Professor or Move On?

[thetons8785]

Hi there! 

So I'm in a bit of a conundrum, and would like to hear your ideas for solutions.  

I'm aiming to apply to JHU's SAIS MA by Nov. 1st for a fall 2017 entrance (I know-- I want that early deadline advantage!)  I need two letters of rec, and at least one from a professor. 

In February of this year, a professor who I was a research assistant for as an undergrad, reached out to me to help her edit her trade dispute assessment paper to make it more agreeable and clarify complex ideas in preparation for publication at an American law journal.  My job was basically to provide an educated layman's perspective on her paper. Having been her research assistant in the past, I assume she believed me credible enough to help her edit her paper.  I was stoked, to say the least.  Due to some complications on her end, the research assistantship was put on hold for a few months.  In July--after those issues were resolved-- we reconnected to start the work again.  

The work went fine. Or so I thought.  I prepped for each Skype date (I'm living abroad and she's stateside), we discussed and made changes levelheadedly, and it continued this way for the length of the assistantship--which was to my disbelief only a few days.  In exchange for helping her, she agreed to write my letter of rec, and pay $10/hour-- above the going rate for RA compensation.  In the end, she asked me for a quote on the amount she owed me.  I gave her the quote--which was based on my preparation time, Skype time, and brief work done in February. I ended with a humble call to action for the letter of rec.

My quote drew a sour response from her-- to the point where, out of left field, she expressed harbored frustration with the work I did, refused to acknowledge any work done in February, and discussion ultimately ended with me apologizing for misunderstanding the time I would be compensated for, and laconic, single-noted responses from her. However, in her final email, she was confusingly cordial.  Short, but cordial. But no mention of the letter of rec.

As an alternative recommender, I've thought to contact my French professor-- who I took a majority of my upper-division French classes with, and who has written a letter of rec for me in the past-- but it's been about 3 years since I last contacted her, and 7 years since I studied under her... and honestly my Korean is probably better than my French at this point.

My questions:

1. Is it worth trying to repair the relationship with Professor A (either for a letter of rec or just for the sake of not burning bridges)?  
2. Can a recommendation from a professor from so long ago really strengthen my application?  If so, how?

Thanks in advance for your insight!

[rising_star]

1) Yes, you should try to repair the relationship. Can you ask Prof A what went wrong, for more information about what was expected of you as a RA that you didn't do, etc.? I suggest asking because this could help you avoid similar issues in the future.

2) It's your job to think about whether/how a recommendation from long ago can improve your application, not ours. We'd have to know way more about you, the recommender, and their knowledge of you to answer that question. So, how would you answer the question? 

You didn't ask about this but, who is your other recommender and what do they have to offer to your application file?

[fuzzylogician]

Seconding everything @rising_star said, but this part in particular: 

11 hours ago, rising_star said:

1) Yes, you should try to repair the relationship. Can you ask Prof A what went wrong, for more information about what was expected of you as a RA that you didn't do, etc.? I suggest asking because this could help you avoid similar issues in the future.

It's always better to leave on good terms, or if that is not possible, at least on a pleasant note and not in an angry or confused place. This is true regardless of whether you'll need a letter from this person, but obviously more so if there is any chance that they might be approached and asked about you (which may happen regardless of whether you list the person as a recommender). It's also a good idea to simply understand what happened and where things went wrong, so it doesn't happen again. There are only so many times that you can allow a relationship with a supervisor go sour and be able to continue working in your field. 

[thetons8785]

@rising_star and @fuzzylogician touché on the advice to repair the relationship.  I typically never leave ends undone, but I suppose I was just so confused at the end that I second guessed myself?  That, and I've never been in this kind of situation with such an important person before...it really threw me for a loop. All said, I'm drafting the email today.  Thanks for the advice!

My other recommender would be my French professor from uni.  All 4-5 classes I took with her were small, she interviewed me when I opted out of 4 upper division French classes, wrote a letter of rec for me way back, and she gave me references tools for an etymology podcast I made with a friend.  A handful of important classes I did well in and those exchanges built up our relationship. Her letter would boost my application bc it would show the language skills I honed before entering the program (before graduation students have to pass exams in a second language).  But my skills have sunk from advanced to conversational.  And that might make it hard for her to write the rec...

 

 

 

[thetons8785]

Just for a bit of background, in Professor As main response she noted that she had to explain legal terminology and the case, and moreover that she had to spend more time after our meetings to continue working on parts of her paper as reasons for why she was surprised about the amount I quoted her.  It all seems to revolve around the matter of money paid for the work.  

[fuzzylogician]

53 minutes ago, thetons8785 said:

It all seems to revolve around the matter of money paid for the work.  

Or the amount/quality of work done for the money you asked for? Sounds like she didn't think you did enough to ask as much as you were asking. (I.e., ("based on my experience contracting out this kind of work over the years...") option 1: "...I would have expected this job to cost a lot less than what X charged"; option 2: "...I would have expected much better quality work for the amount of money I ended up paying, especially given how much more work I still had to do".) Not going into whether that is fair or correct, just my interpretation of the exchange. 

[thetons8785]

Most definitely @fuzzylogician!  I drafted an email, stepped back, and added money paid for quality of work done.  

 

This is what the final draft became: 

Dear Professor A,

I hope you are well.

Throughout my recent RA position with you, I thought I was working up to your expectations, and only realized after your email that you felt overcharged for the quality of work I did. I want you to know again that I genuinely misunderstood what time I would be paid for, and didn’t realize the significance of getting paid $X/hour. I would never intentionally overcharge you.

I'm unsure of whether you are still comfortable with writing a letter of recommendation for me, but at the very least, I hope we can maintain a good relationship.  

Respectfully,

[thetons8785]

Update:

The email to Professor A helped a lot.  We both cleared the air, and she has agreed to write my letter of recommendation!  So relieved.  Thanks for the feedback (though I know I should've come to these conclusions myself)!